Theory of the Bitter One
by Lunalunar
Summary: Crystal Nott doesn't remember anything about her supposed fiance. All she has is what her friends tell her and her heart to judge. She isn't ready for any of this. She just wants to live a normal life, but being chosen by the Dark Lord limits her.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Lighting Strikes the Heart**

**A/N: This is a squeal to A Soul Pledge to the Darkness…I figured not everyone wanted to read a cross-over so there is the option of this one. It's probably still easy enough to read this if you haven't read the first one. In any case, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Her eyes were slowly fluttering open. Her body seemed to be in so much pain she didn't want to wake up. But how long had she been out? Crystal truthfully didn't know, but as the moonlight drifted through the window panes, she knew she had to get up. She had been out too long. But as her eyes opened the pain began to get worse. Her head was throbbing like it had before when she woke up after what happened at the Ministry of Magic.<p>

She put a hand on her forehead and breathed in deeply. She wasn't in the hospital wing. No, she was in a much softer larger bed. Slowly she began to scan the room as her vision began to adjust to the dark room.

Panic began to fill her. She wasn't anywhere she recognized. She had never been here before. This white blanket with lavender flowers, this wasn't hers. This bed with Elven carvings wasn't hers either. Where was she?

She sat up as dread and fear filled her. She reached around silently for her wand to find it sitting on the nightstand next to a necklace. She stared at the necklace for a moment. Her mind was racing, this was from Fred and George. They gave it to her at Kings Cross. She remembers that, but how did she end up here? And why was she in so much pain?

She took the beautiful silver necklace with a tiny heart on it and put it around her neck. It was some form of comfort to her as she continued to study the room. She never lowered her wand as she walked forward, all the while thinking to herself 'Crystal Beatrice Nott, where have you landed yourself?'

As quietly as she could she made her way over to the fireplace, but her quiet tip toes didn't matter. Someone was already stirring on the couch in front of the fireplace.

She let out a scream. The person started to stir at once.

"Crystal" the figure muttered as he got up letting the moonlight pour over his figure. Crystal stared at him not sure who he was. She didn't feel safe. She felt threaten by him. His ice cold eyes were staring at her with compassion, but all she could see is a stranger. The pale blond figure frightened her.

"Stay away!" She cried pointed her wand straight at his chest, but he didn't listen. His eyes filled with dread as he walked forward to pull her wand out of her hand. But it was too late. She panicked "Stupefy!" She cried the first spell that came to mind and watched as the figure fell still on the couch.

She backed away staring at the figure that now laid still. Where was she? She had to get away. Her heart knew what to do. She was about to run for the window, she didn't know how high she was but she was going to jump. But the door bust open before she could go anywhere.

"We heard screams is—" Another strange person appeared at the door. She cut herself off as she took in Crystal's frightened eyes and the blond figure in a body bind curse who was lying on the couch.

"St-stay away from me!" Crystal screamed switching her wand to the figures that started appearing from the door. She didn't recognize the first blond female, but she did recognize the Dark Lord. She was half tempted to run over to him because he was the first figure she recognized, but she changed her mind as she backed herself up to the wall.

"Crystal everything is going to be okay." The lady with the blond hair approached her with a mother smile. But Crystal wasn't buying it. She was screaming and on the verge of tears.

"Oh for merlin's sake" Voldemort growled and took Crystal's wand from her hand. "Now tell us what is the meaning of this!" He snapped walking over towards Crystal who was now in tears and on the ground.

"Get them away from me!" Crystal screamed pointed her finger at the cursed blond figure on the couch and over to the female with the blond hair stood.

"You are in Malfoy manor, there is no reason for them to get away from you." Voldemort drawled looking at Crystal in confusion. "And I fail to see why you hexed Draco."

"I don't even know who this 'Draco' is! I woke up in a strange room and there was a boy I've never seen in my life." Crystal cried out as she pulled her legs to her chest. "What would you have done?"

"What do you mean you don't know where you are?" Voldemort snarled.

"I'm really sorry my Lord, but I don't know where I am." Crystal whispered softly. She was starting to shy away now. Everyone was acting like she should know where she was and what sort of situation she was in, but she didn't. She was scared and felt alone. She didn't know where she was or half the people here, why shouldn't she be afraid? What's more important is she seemed to upset the dark lord and that could cost her even more.

"Narcissa, go get a healer" Voldemort commanded as he rubbed his hands across his forehead. He let out a sigh and looked over at Crystal. He couldn't explain why but he felt bad for her. He was rather fond of her and to see her so scared actually raised up some strange emotion in him. He quickly ignored it though and instead went over to relief the Malfoy child of his body bind. "Malfoy, you better leave the room. I will give you farther instructions later."

Crystal watched the boy closely. When he got up his eyes looked full of pain and sorrow, but he still did as he was told. He took his time though and even looked Crystal directly in the eyes. He had so much sorrow in his eyes it was hard to believe. But he was feeling miserable. He had been worried sick about Crystal and had been sick with himself at the fact that he didn't protect her…and now whether she was doing it on purpose or it was true she didn't remember him. Draco couldn't accept it. She was the love of his life how could she not remember? It seemed true though. Her fear was frightening. He couldn't believe what was going on as he left the room.

The minute the door closed with a sharp snap, Voldemort began pacing in front of Crystal who wasn't saying anything, she was just sobbing there by the fireplace.

They both were there in silence, other than the occasional mutter from the Dark Lord himself. They waited a while, while Crystal cried rocking herself, waiting and waiting. Finally a healer arrived, no doubt a pureblood with dies to the Dark Lord because Voldemort didn't hide who he was and nor did the lady scream.

Almost immediately the healer pulled Crystal onto the couch and began muttering spells after spells. After the spells were done she began to ask Crystal series of questions. Most of them she could answer, but several she stared at the healer blank, leaving Crystal feeling oddly empty. It was like she should know those questions, but she didn't. Half way through the conversation, the healer drew Crystal attention to her bracelet that was dangling from her arm. Crystal couldn't explain how it got there or who it was from, even though it had the Nott crest and as she learned from the healer the Malfoy crest. At this point there were many swears that flew from the Dark Lord's mouth. Her ball would be soon and if she didn't know who Draco was, how could there be an engagement? It was a disaster in his mind.

Things didn't get much better for the Dark Lord. Since her concussion from the Department of Mysterious was still healing, the wounds that were inflicted on her just days before had caused her to suffer from selective memory loss. Her brain automatically did it on its own. There is no way to heal it with magic and for the time being she could be considered mentally unstable. The Healer also stated that her spine injuries would take even longer to heal because of the abuse she went through. Nothing was going the Dark Lord's way tonight.

"Look the best we can do right now is slowly introduce her to Draco." The Healer let out a sigh as they whispered outside of Crystal's room.

"The ball is in a week! If she does not have her memory by then my plan will g—" Voldemort started but the healer bravely interjected.

"She's a pureblood, give her more credit." The healer grinned while she took several notes on her papers regarding Crystal condition. "She knows how to act and she will." And with one final note on her papers she turned heal and left. The Dark Lord had nothing more to say on the matter so he too turned and left.

Meanwhile, Crystal was sitting in her room listening the whole time. She was supposed to be engaged to this Draco. How could she not know who he is? Now she really was feeling miserable as she played with the two hearts on the bracelet. The healer had reassured her several times over that she was safe here, at the Malfoy manor. She was also told if she needed anything to call the house elf, Addle. She didn't want the house elf. What she wanted was someone she knew, like her brother or some of her Gryffindor friends.

She was frustrated as she sat on the couch. Slowly the tears started to form again and before she knew it she was sleeping on the couch with tears still streaming down her face. She fell in and out of sleep several times. Her dreams were vivid and filled with fear. Around the fourth time of waking up screaming and filled with tears, she woke up to find the blond boy from earlier resting her head in his lap as he stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry, I could just hear you in my room…" Draco admitted and quickly turned to leave.

"No, wait!" Crystal cried out as she slowly sat up. "Stay" She reached out and grabbed Draco's arm lightly. He turned slowly and looked at her face in surprise. "I'm sorry I hexed you earlier, but I didn't—" She stopped and looked shyly at her feet.

"You don't have to explain." Draco shook his head. "The healer explained to me. I shouldn't even be here."

"But I want you here. I feel like I owe you apology." Crystal blushed. "I am supposed to know you. But I don't."

Draco lightly pulled her hand off of his arm and held it in his. "Just forget it" He scolded slightly. He wasn't upset with her anymore. He knew now from the healer she honestly didn't remember. So that feeling of anger began to be replaced with his feelings of regret and hate for himself. He felt so weak…he couldn't even protect the one he loves.

"Why can't we start over?" Crystal begged as she gave his hand a small squeeze.

"Because Crystal, you deserve someone better." Draco let go of her hand and turned to leave.

"Is that really your call to make?" Crystal called out, stopping Draco in his tracks once more. He didn't say anything, he was afraid to say anything. "Look, let's start over as friends." Crystal smiled warmly.

"Friends?" Draco questioned and shook his head. "We will be engaged in a week. Friends won't be enough."

His words cut her like a knife. She didn't want to hear it. She doesn't even know him and she's being forced to act like she's madly in love with him. That didn't seem fair. Why would the Dark Lord want her to go through that? This wasn't right and it wasn't fair. Her eyes started to swell with tears. This was horrible.

"Fine" She said in a torn cracked voice. "I request parchment and a quill." She said softly as she turned back to the couch and sat down waiting.

Draco let out a sigh and turned to her desk drawer where he grabbed out a quill, parchment, and ink and set it in front of her. "I'm leaving" He announced and left. Crystal paid him no attention. She was busy trying to see through the tears shinning down her face. She tried to wipe them away but they kept coming. She ignored them anyways and began writing to the first people who struck her mind. The Twins, Fred and George;

_Fred and George,_

_Things aren't going so well. There was a bit of an accident and well…I can't remember a thing about the Malfoy's. Apparently I'm suffering from selective memory loss. My brain is trying to suppress memories it doesn't want to remember. None of this is right. I don't remember anything about this Draco character and…well I'm getting engaged to him next week I am told. I don't know what to believe. To be honest all I know right now is that I miss you both terribly. I want nothing more than to escape and see you, but I'm needed here. _

_Just…please all I ask is for you to inform the others. This isn't going to be easy anymore. According to the healer I am mental unstable. I just want to go back to school. Rescue me would you?_

_-Crissy_

Just as she finished writing she heard a loud pop next to her. She jumped but calmed down when she realized it was a house elf.

"The Young Master said you needed an owl." The Elf piped up as an owl was perched on her shoulder.

"Oh thank you, Addle." Crystal smiled warmly as she took the owl from the elf.

"Young Misses Nott is as kind as ever." Addle gave a low bow before disappearing with another loud pop.

Crystal sat there for a moment taking in the elves words. So even the house elf knew her, she had to have known the Malfoy's then. Although house elves have remarkable memories, in truth she could have met the house elf just once. No, that doesn't seem right. That woman from before, the one who looked like Draco, she seemed so nice to her as well. This was all so confusing. Tomorrow, she would get her answer tomorrow.

But she didn't get any answer the next day. Instead she was woken up by Addle, the house elf where she was told to dress and be presentable in an hour's time for her etiquette training. Crystal let out a sigh. She had already been through years of etiquette training. What more could she need?

She was dreading it so much she did take the full hour to get ready. She spent most of it throwing the dress on the floor. Whoever picked out her wardrobe did a horrible job. Everything in the closet, almost everything, was Slyhterin colors. She finally settled on a light pink dress and waited on someone to get her.

She figured that Addle would get her, but it wasn't Addle who came in it was her brother.

"Theodore" Crystal breathed as she walked towards the door to check if he was real or not.

"Hey sis" He smiled warmly and pulled her into a hug. "I heard you had a bit of a scare."

"I don't really want to talk about it." Crystal turned away from her brother and looked at the ground.

"Come on, grab your cane and let's head down for your etiquette training." Theo sighed. When he first found out the news that she had lost her memories about Draco he really didn't know what to think. But Draco had talked to him this morning and it seemed true. The thought alone scared him that his sister didn't know who Draco was. She loved him so much and now what? She didn't even knew who he was. Does that mean she'd fall for Potter or those Weasley twins? The thought alone made him shutter.

"What kind of etiquette training am I doing anyways?" Crystal asked as she grabbed her cane and began walking downstairs with her brother.

"As far as I know you are starting out with a tea ceremony, afternoon is dancing, and after dancing is dress fitting for the ball next week Friday." Theo answered as they began to crawl their way through the mansion into what Crystal assumed to be a drawing room of some sorts.

When they finally made it into the room Crystal wanted nothing more than to turn around. She let a scowl grow on her face as Pansy Parkinson, Goyle, Crabbe, Blaise Zabini, and Draco Malfoy were gathered around a small table with tea and crumpets. Crystal attempted to turn around but her brother grabbed her tightly by the arm and led her in. It was then she noticed that there were healers stationed around the table with the tea. She was being monitored. Her behavior and reactions, they would all be watched and marked. The Dark Lord obviously wanted her to remember as soon as possible. This must have been a compromise.

Fine if that's how it was Crystal would play along. She threw on the best smile she could and took a curt bow the minute they were in front of the table. "It's a pleasure to see you all." She smiled as couple of the Slytherin's at the table raised an eyebrow at her peculiar behavior. She ignored it though and carried on in the sweetest manner she knew how. "I had no idea I would be able to see you all any time soon."

The healers at the first sign of her talking began scribbling away. They took note of her behavior and the Slytherin's around her.

Blaise was the first to talk. He wasn't at all surprised by her behavior. He had known her long enough to know she was a great actress and she was putting on a show. "I'm surprised as well, but you are right it is great to see you." Blaise smiled warmly, showing he too could act as well. It's not that he wasn't very fond of Crystal, he just always knew she was off limits after years of living with Draco.

Crystal watched the Slyhterin's closely. Pansy looked livid for some reason. Draco looked…it was hard to say. She could read his emotions at all. He was so indifferent right now. As for Crabbe and Goyle they were just eying up the food eagerly. Crystal ignored Pansy and took the open seat by Blaise, while her brother sat down on the other side of her at the round table.

She was having a hard time ignoring the scribbling of the healers. It seemed to make her head throb painfully. She ignored it anyways. "I didn't get to see you at the end of the term. How did the OWL's treat you?" Crystal asked as she put some sugar cubs in her tea cup.

"A lot better than expec—" Blaise started but obviously Pansy's anger got the best of her as she completely ignored the healers.

"Oh cut the bloody bullshit." Pansy growled pointing an accusing finger at Crystal.

The healers quilled furiously.

"Parkinson" Crystal narrowed her eyes but that's all that crossed her lips.

"Pansy, remember what the Dark Lord said?" Draco narrowed his eyes at Pansy, who quickly growled and seemed to drop it all at once.

"Yes, Draco" She commanded and picked up her tea and began sipping it.

Slowly a silence fell among them. Crystal picked up her teacup, with the warm steaming tea and held it close to her. She began to examine it closely out of sheer boredom. She couldn't believe that this was the Dark Lord's idea of exercise her memory. This group of friends would no more help her remember anything than sitting in a room full of hippogriffs. Besides the air was stifling, the only sound was Crabbe and Goyle eating, and the notes of the healers.

Crystal couldn't take it anymore. She was going to have to resort to trivial conversation starters. She took a small sip of her tea ignoring the stares. "These teacups are beautiful" She commented examine them for any stamp of who made them. "Who made them?" She asked gingerly while looking at Draco who seemed to just fidget.

It was Pansy who answered after a shrill laugh. "That's rich, she honestly doesn't remember a damn thing."

"Oh shut up Parkinson." Theodore growled over at her.

"No, let her talk" Crystal looked at the girl curiously. She always hated Pansy. She remembers that much, but what made her hate her so much. I mean, she didn't seem so bad to be honest. There was something that drove her to hate her, but now Crystal was just feeling the hate was being childish.

"Ask Draco who designed these cups." She laughed once more before grabbing a scone and nibbling at it.

Crystal turned her attention Draco who seemed keener on picking on a loose seam then meeting her eye. "Who designed these…" She stopped unsure if she should call him Draco or Malfoy. Her brain struggled for a bit as it gave off a painful throb. Finally she settled on calling him Malfoy.

The words Malfoy ran through his brain. He had never heard her call him by his surname and to be honest it stun him worse than any hex anyone could place on him. He felt almost pained as the words ran through his brain several times. He stopped picking at the hem and finally looked up at her. "I did" he admitted sheepishly. "I design them for a hobby and Magical Memories chinaware usually buys them from me."

Crystal blinked this was complete news to her. Of course anything about this boy was complete news to her. "They are extremely lovely." Was all she managed to say, there was nothing else to say. She wanted to apologize for not remembering anything, but what good would that do her?

Blaise let out a laugh "Yes a really talent" he couldn't help but tease his roommate and long friend. "If you're a girl" He snickered.

"Oh shut up Blaise" Draco narrowed his eyes but they were still playful. They were used to this sort of banter.

"Just because your pureblood talent is opera singing, doesn't mean you have to pick on _my _Draco" Pansy grabbed on to Draco's arm and growled at Blaise.

"Better than being a pastry chef" Blaise laughed even harder as he pointed at Pansy.

Pansy turned scarlet. "It's a fine talent to have my mother says."

"I think it's a splendid one to have Parkinson." Crystal smiled warmly and took a scone. "If you can manage to make something as beautiful as this, I think it's a real talent." Crystal held up the scone high before taking a bite.

Pansy didn't like it at all. She narrowed her eyes at Crystal. "What are you playing at, Nott?" She growled.

Everyone was staring at the two, mainly Crystal. Usually she made some snide remark about Pansy, not complement her. What was going on?

"I was just thinking one day you could show me. I'd love to see your work." Crystal smiled warmly, but no one was buying it. They couldn't tell if she was acting or if she actually meant it. Either way Parkinson didn't like it. She stood up quickly, knocking her chair on the ground. She wanted to say something, she wanted to yell but she didn't. Instead she opened her mouth a couple of times before she finally spoke.

"Excuse me, I need to powder my nose." Was all Pansy said and without even a bow, she turned and left.

There was a loud earsplitting silence that began to the fill the room. Draco and Theo were exchanging glances with each other and occasional joined by Crabbe and Goyle, who had been quiet this whole time took notice of the whole thing. It was Blaise who calmed everyone down.

"I didn't know you were so into pureblood talents." Blaise smiled warmly over at Crystal. "Would you like me to serenade you to sleep tonight?" He winked.

"Please we both know that it would turn into an opera competition between the two of us." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"You know you can't win. Your talent of singing, playing the piano, and dancing isn't as good as my singing." Blaise narrowed his eyes.

"Nothing beats my talent of painting and creating ceramic cups." Draco huffed out of nowhere.

Crystal couldn't help but laugh. "I get the impression you are full of yourself." She smiled as she leaned forward watching Draco closely.

"Full of himself doesn't even began to cover it." Goyle finally spoke up earning himself a muffin right in the head thrown by Draco himself.

"I don't see why you are trying to co—" Crabbe piped up only to be shut up by another scone.

By now everyone was laughing. "Draco never was one for the truth." Blaise leaned in and whispered to Crystal, who smirked widely.

"Is that so" Crystal looked right over at Draco, who caught her eye almost instantly. But Draco dropped the gaze almost instantly. He looked like he was in pain. After the laughter died down he threw his napkin down and got up to leave just as Pansy was making her reappearance.

"Don't mind him" Blaise filled in as Crystal looked at the now closed door with worry in her eyes. "He just is feeling a little guilty."

"What would he be guilty over?" Crystal titled her head over at Blaise, but Blaise didn't give her an answer. It was her brother who spoke.

"You" He said in a soft voice. Crystal looked around for more answers but no one seemed willing.

"It's nothing you should worry your pretty little head over." Pansy snarled. Crystal dropped her thoughts at once and let out a sigh.

This all felt so familiar. This room…being with these people. Why did it all seem so right, even though she knew it wasn't? She belonged with her Gryffindor friends, not these…well they weren't all horrid. Pansy didn't seem horrid. Blaise certainly wasn't. Maybe a little bit too playful…and Draco well he wasn't bad at all. A little conceded but that's usual for a pureblood right?

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><p><strong>AN: Not as long as I would have liked it to be, but here's the other squeal for those of you who didn't want a cross-over. Let me know what you think or even which one you like better. You can PM or leave a nice review, whatever works. Just curious on a little feedback. I'm actually enjoying writing both, but so far I have a lot more written out for the cross-over than this one. Oh well...they will both get finished :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Never Lose

**Chapter 2: Scars are souvenirs you'll never lose **

**A/N: Eh, mixed feelings on this one. But I'm going to try and keep going.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Crystal had gotten used to the pattern that had formed at Malfoy Manor. She would have supposed etiquette classes every day, but she was starting to see through them. Each day she would be with Slytherin's. Sometimes it was Draco, Pansy, Theo, and Blaise other times it was Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle. It really varied, but one thing was for sure was Draco was always involved. They seemed to increase and grow longer the closer it got to the ball. Crystal didn't like it either. She felt like Draco was being shoved down her throat. It was making her more annoyed of Draco than anything. The only thing she wanted to do was visit her other friends. She was growing weary of hanging out with Slyherin's day in and day out. Her only time of relief was late at night when she would send owl's to Fred and George. They'd always send one right back before morning, that way they were never intercepted. It was turning out to be her favorite part of the day and two days before the ball, it was all she wanted to do. Several times she had snuck off in attempt to floo herself away, but she was always stopped. The preparations for the ball never seemed to end.<p>

"Crystal" A voice called out behind her as she set down the floo powder, attempting to act like nothing happened.

"Yes, Blaise?" Crystal turned around a smiled as warmly as she could at Blaise, but between him and Theodore, she couldn't get away today. She would much rather take the punishment then stay here any longer.

"Look" Blaise grabbed her hand and looked at her with deep scolding eyes. "This is going to be a long summer, but it will be better if you stop attempting to run away."

"I'm mentally unstable. I have no idea what you are talking about." Crystal said smoothly before shaking his hand off and storming back into the blue room, where they were working on a duet. Blaise and Crystal were singing while Theo was playing the Piano. Draco was just in there for the sake of being there. She wasn't really sure why, probably because they were hoping to jog her memory somehow. With the healers there she didn't doubt it at all.

When she got back in the room Draco was the first one to look up. He was sitting closest to the door reading a book, but he seemed to be barely reading it. His eyes were focused on the violins while Theodore played the piano flawlessly from the corner.

Her eyes met with Draco momentarily before she looked down at her feet. She couldn't help but let her mind replay the words Fred and George had told her. They told her so much about who Draco was and what he had done and it sent shivers down her spine every time. She couldn't believe that the boy she was betrothed to hate her friends and hated anything to do with them. Sometimes it made her even sick, but yet according to Fred and George she was in love with him, so what was she possibly thinking then? She honestly couldn't imagine.

"Crissy" Draco set his book down and got up to face her. She had tilted her head to the ground and was kicking the carpet slightly. She didn't respond to his voice, but he knew she heard him. He had gotten used to her cold reactions. At first she seemed curious on getting to know him and would attempt to, but that soon stopped once he started pushing her away. He couldn't help but push her away, the guilt inside of him was tearing him apart. He couldn't believe he couldn't save her. He felt horrible and he felt like he didn't deserve her. And if he didn't deserve her than what made those stupid blood traitors so special? No, he couldn't think about that. He gathered up his courage and his Malfoy smirk and held out his hand. "Would you take this dance?"

Crystal frowned "We have dance practice this afternoon" She pointed out while staring at his hand.

Draco let out a deep sigh "You know that practice never goes well. You usually storm out."

"So what makes you think I won't storm out right now?" Crystal crossed her arms defensively over her chest.

Blaise had just appeared in the room and let out a laugh. "She brings up a fair point mate." Draco gave Blaise a look which ended that at once. "Alright fine, I'll just go play the flute or something…" He mumbled and started walking over by Theo.

"Please we have two days to get this right." Draco looked at Crystal, she was back to looking at the floor.

"I don't want to get this right." Crystal mumbled nearly sounding like a child.

"We _need_ to though. This is important to our futures." Draco sighed, now crossing his arms over his chest. He was sick of these constant arguments. He was sick of her cold eyes. He wanted her to want him, to reach out like she used too. But that wasn't going to happen. All he would ever get was her cold distant eyes until something sparked in her mind.

"Your future" She pointed her finger at him with narrowed eyes. "I don't need this."

"Then why are you even here?" Draco rolled his eyes.

"I…" This question seemed to get her every time. She never knew what to say because she couldn't explain why she didn't run away. Sure she had tried, but she was going to come back. She was always drawn here and would remain here for as long as she could. Something in this mansion made her feel safe and made her feel at home. How could she possibly explain that to Draco when she herself didn't even know why she stayed? "Because" She growled before grabbing Draco's hand and leading him into a waltz pose.

"You know that's not an answer." He smirked playfully as he began to twist and twirl with her in the open space.

"Does it matter?" Crystal looked up into his eyes and followed the smooth rhythm her brother and Blaise played.

"Yes, it matters to me." Draco nodded.

"Why?" Crystal narrowed her eyes once more at Draco.

"Because I love you" He filled in. "I just want you to understand that. I know you no longer feel the same way, but at one time you did."

"That's what Fred and George tell me." Crystal admitted softly. She could no longer look into Draco's icy cold eyes, she instead found herself watching the pattern their feet moved in.

Draco tried not to growl. She talked about them so much, what could either of them possibly mean to her? Especially that Fred…was it Fred that kissed her? He thought it was. He hated that blood traitor with a passion for so many reasons. But the biggest reason was he might lose her to him. That he couldn't live with. He needed to be strong. If Fred and George meant something to her, he had to pretend at the very least they meant something to him. "And what else do they tell you?" He asked trying to sound light and conversational, but to him it just sounded hostile.

She didn't respond at first. She let her mind wonder as Draco spun her and then pulled her back to his heart. "That my first kiss was with you in Hogsmeade." Crystal's cheeks flushed lightly as she looked up at Draco for a brief moment before looking back at their feet.

His heart couldn't help but flutter, she was so cute. "Do you remember anything about that kiss?" He asked letting his famous smirk play across his lips.

"No" She said honestly looking full of shame.

"We were in the Three Broomsticks having a light conversation." Draco explained as he continued to lead her across the floor noticing that Theo and Blaise had both adjusted the music to a softer more romantic tone. "You were wearing your favorite dress, a beautiful light pink one."

Crystal tried to picture it in her mind, but all she could gather was her in the three broomsticks with Fred and George. She remembers nothing about Draco. Nothing he was saying was making an impact on her.

"I had leaned in" Draco smiled and stopped dancing as he titled her head towards him. "Softly, just like this" He said in a near whisper as he pulled her lips towards his. Their breath was beginning to mingle, but he ignored it as he stared deep into her eyes. "And when I pulled away, you blushed ever so lightly. It matched the color of your dress." He admitted "You looked so beautiful then. So innocent and pure, just like you do now" He gave her one last smile before he let go of her chin and let her go.

"I wish I remembered" She admitted while reaching out and clinging to his hand. "You sound so wonderful." Crystal said softly, noticing the music had completely died off. She was tempted to look over at Theo and Blaise, who were obviously eavesdropping, but she couldn't. She wanted to stay in this moment, to at least preserve her memories of right now.

"Correction, I am wonderful." Draco smirked.

"I don't agree to that. I'm being forced to marry you and you seem perfectly fine with that." Crystal crossed her arms over her chest. "Pansy likes you, you know."

"I'm not stupid." Draco growled. He hated how much she had been bringing up Pansy lately. Usually in the past it was always to tease, but as of lately she's been meaning every word of it. It's like she wants him to be with Pansy. He couldn't help but wonder if Pansy was spoon feeding her information so that Pansy could go out with him instead. He knew it wouldn't work like that. The Dark Lord wanted them to be wed, so they would have to and that was that.

"I never said you were. You seem to have this habit of putting words in my mouth." Crystal sighed and turned to leave, "I'm leaving."

"We aren't done here! We still have lunch, then your dress fitting." Draco grabbed her arm roughly. He was starting to lose his temper. He couldn't keep it in check when she was like this.

"Then by all means, Draco" She snarled his name and Draco filched. "Punish me because I'm leaving."

The color seemed to drain even faster out of his face when she finished her sentence. It didn't settle well with him at all. "Let's be reasonable." He loosened his grip on her arm and tried to smile.

Crystal shrugged with a tiny smirk. "Then come with me."

"What? No, we cannot leave." Draco turned towards Blaise and Theodore for help. He knew they were listening. He wanted back up on this one.

Blaise and Theodore both nodded backing Draco up at once. They were not going to get in trouble nor be held responsible for Crystal's behavior. The last thing they wanted was the cruicatus curse on either of them.

"See we can't." Draco said firmly, but Crystal was still smirking.

"Honestly" She rolled her eyes "You know what the problem is with you" She pointed to Draco, then Theo, and then Blaise. "Slyhterins?" She asked but no one said anything. They blinked at her and waited. The only sound they could hear was the forgotten healers who were taking notes. "Simple, you guys are cowards and being cowards in a pureblooded family means you don't know how to have fun."

"Excuse me?" Blaise snickered and looked at Crystal in disbelief.

"You heard me." Crystal raised her eyebrows looking straight at Blaise. Out of all the Slytherin's she has been placed around, Blaise was turning out to be her favorite. She knew she should be favoring Draco right now, but she couldn't get over his anger and his attitude. He was so uptight and didn't know how to have a good time. At least Blaise would tease her…

"No, we aren't stupid." Theo corrected. He honestly didn't know where his sister got all this…spunk from. Were all the Gryffindor's like this? Is that why she always preferred their company over theirs?

"Not smart either" She muttered with a slight eye roll.

"Come on, you and Blaise need to come back and finish your duet." Draco commanded while grabbing her arm and attempting to pull her back in. She shrugged it off and left the room.

The boys looked at each other having no idea what Crystal was planning, but figured it was better they followed her instead of leaving her alone. There was too many times already this week where she would run off and no one could find her, till hours later a house elf would find her locked in a closet. No one knew why she would lock herself in a closet but all anyone knew was she was dying to get away.

She led them through the manor taking the longest way possible. She was making sure everyone who was in the house had a chance to see them. She didn't bother checking to see if the healers had followed or not, her suspicions were not. They usually didn't follow her when she left and she ended up getting a bad report for the day. Whenever she left, they chalked it up as she needs more work. According to her father before all this happened, his precious daughter was a beautiful calm young girl who would do as she was told, not someone who would run away and hide. Little did he know was she had been doing this for years. He didn't actually know his daughter, so the healers would never deem her as mentally stable.

"Crystal" Draco called out as she swiftly walked a head of them. But she ignored it and kept walking for another five minutes, ignoring anyone calling out to her until she reached the drawing room. She pushed open the doors and sauntered right in to the fire place. She didn't look at the boys as she reached out and grabbed some floo powder with a wicked smirk.

She turned to boys as she held the floo powder out. "You can stay or you can follow. I suggest follow." She threw them one last look. "The Leaky Caldron" She couldn't help but laugh as her body disappeared in the flames only to reappear in the Leak Caldron, she could have sworn she heard Draco say "Son of Merlin's left nut" as she was leaving, but she wasn't sure. She knew for sure they wouldn't follow her. Not at first at least, especially after the rage she thought she heard. She shrugged it off and immediately headed for Diagon Alley, feeling the freedom she longed to feel almost at once.

But once she stepped out in to Diagon Alley, she felt that same sense of dread that she felt every day. Everything had changed so much. Many of the shops were boarded up and filled with…fear. It was the same feeling she knew so well. She shook her head. She didn't really want to buy anything anyways. She was here for one reason and one reason only. She was here to see the twins and that was enough to keep her head held high.

It didn't take long to find their shop, it was obviously the loudest one on the street. Though Voldemort only made his reappearance almost every shop was filled with 'Have you seen this Wizard' and safety tips set out from the ministry. That's what made it so gloomy. But the twin's shop wasn't gloomy at all. They had the required posters, but they had their own flare next to the ministry ones. Everything was over the top and colorful. Her lips couldn't help but spread into its widest smile that has graced her lips since Hogwarts as she swung open the door. She immediately felt that sense of home. She wanted to dive right in, but she kept her cool as she wove through the shoppers and merchandise looking for her favorite red heads. It took a while, but she found George first. He was helping a costumer picking out something called a pigmy puff. She leaned up the nearest wall at watched him closely. She couldn't help but admire him as he helped the girl. He was sporting the tackiest magenta dress robes she had ever laid eyes on. It clashed with his hair so bad, she wanted to leave at that moment and buy him a new one. But she didn't, she watched him curiously as he explained why the pigmy puff was the perfect pet for a young girl. He was enthusiastic and engrossed in his work. He had to have been if he didn't even notice her stand there. She was letting out giggles her and there as she watched him bounce on the heels of his feet like a little kid. She waited patiently though, she knew he'd finish up soon.

"Trust me they are overly friendly." George repeated for the second time. "You have my word that every girl who has bought one has loved them instantly." He smiled.

The older lady that was contemplating buying it for her daughter seemed bought. "Thank you, I think I will get it." She smiled, seeming dazzled by George's enthusiasm.

"Perfect! Just let one of us know when you are done shopping." George gave her one last smile and turned to leave, ready to attend to other costumers, but he seemed to stop mid-bounce. His eyes had finally landed on Crystal. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He thought he was imaging it at first but as he walked forward, Crystal threw her arms around him and he knew it was real. "Crissy" He whispered as he held her tight in a hug. "How did you—"

"Shhh, let's not talk about how I got away" She smiled as she pulled away from the hug. George was still astonished. He couldn't wait to find Fred. Oh Fred was going to be so happy.

"Are you—" He was having a hard time searching for his words as he pulled her to the back of the store where he last saw Fred. "I mean is everything all right?"

"No, it's awful." Crystal grabbed tightly onto George's hand and gave a tiny sigh.

"So you really don't remember a thing about Malfoy?" He glanced back at her. She shook her head ever so slightly seeming to pout.

"Not a thing" She whispered in a tiny fearful voice.

"What are you going to do on Saturday?" He stopped walking now, he had to look at her and behold her reaction. He had been afraid for her the moment he found out she didn't have any memories of Draco. But yet he felt hopeful. Maybe this would drive her to drop her idea of staying with her family. She could be spared and no longer be a Death Eater than…but that wouldn't happen. If she hadn't left yet, why would she now?

"The only thing I can do." She looked at George as a slow tear began to trickle down her face. "I'm going to have to pretend."

"Crissy" George shook his head. He didn't like what he was seeing. She was his close friend. She shouldn't have to suffer like this. He couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug.

Crystal didn't want to let go. She had felt so alone for so long at Malfoy Manor, this unexpected love and kindness from George was filling her with such hope and courage she could almost believe that she fake it on Saturday. This is exactly what she needed to keep her in place and let her temper stay in order.

"George?" A voice called out snapping them away from their hug at once. "George do you know if we have an—" Crystal and George both turned to see Fred in the exact same magenta robes standing nearby holding a book of merchandise in his hands. "Crystal" He whispered as the box fell, sending items flying everywhere.

"You dropped something." George laughed.

"Yeah, you made a mess Fred" Crystal joined in with a light giggle.

"Crystal, is that really you?" Fred ignored their comments and walked through the merchandise that had scattered on the floor and reached out and grabbed Crystal's chin. She stopped laughing at once as their eyes met.

"I think so Fred." Crystal whispered. She had forgotten how Fred could make her heart soar in an instant.

"You look so pale." He frowned as he examined her face. He began to turn it this way and that. Eventually he ended up letting go of her chin and twirling her in tiny circles. "Have you been eating?"

"Fred" Crystal put her hands on hips and glared at him, but deep inside she was as happy as can be.

"I mean it" Fred looked at her intensely "If you have time we better get you over to mum."

"Fred, really I'm fine." Crystal attempted to scold him, but just looking at him made her want to giggle. She missed them more than she was aware.

"Hardly, what did you go down a dress size?" Fred eyed her up and then twirled her around a couple more times attempting to make his point.

"Two I think" George piped in only adding to her embarrassment.

"If this is all you are going to talk about, I'll leave." Crystal firmly put her hands on her hips "Besides you guys have a store to run." She threw up her arms and pointed to everything around her.

The twins just shook their heads "Mel is capable of handling it all on her own."

And with that Fred whisked her out of the store while George talked to Mel. Fred lead her back to the Leak Caldron where it appeared he had quickly become close friends with Tom, the bartender there. He sat down at what appeared to be his favorite spot, order food for the three of them and waited for his twin. Overall Crystal had an enormous amount of fun. The twins were telling her stories left and right about their joke shop and all the failed experiments. After a while though, they grew weary of their stores and turned to Crystal. They wanted to know everything that had happened that her letters hadn't already reveled. She wasn't so keen on talking though. She felt like nothing she said was of importance, especially compared to their lives. All she had been doing was dancing, getting fitted into a dress, and socializing with Slyherin's.

"Then if you won't talk about your life, talk about Saturday at least." Fred pulled her hand away from her mouth. He didn't want her to hid in her food.

Crystal reluctantly set down her fork and stared at the twins. "I don't know, this all seems so fast." She shook her head as she felt the familiar tears began to form. "I just...even if I remembered Draco, I don't think I'd be ready for this sort of pressure." She admitted sheepishly. "It has to be perfect."

Both Fred and George reached out and took one of her hands. "It will be okay." They said at the same time with their famous smile. But Crystal didn't feel reassured. She knew they were just saying that. They didn't know for sure if it would or wouldn't. Everything was up in the air and so frightening.

"All you have to do is pretend it's me." Fred grinned and flipped his bangs dramatically. "Although, I know Malfoy isn't as handsome as me."

"Mmmm, he could give you a run for your knut." Crystal laughed.

"Knut? More like I could give him a run for his galleon." Fred winked causing Crystal to laugh harder.

"I think we are about to find out." George muttered causing Fred and Crystal's laughter to cease completely. They all turned away from the food and each other towards three approaching figures. Theodore, Draco, and Blaise were walking swiftly towards them, each wearing a scowl.

Theodore was the first one to speak "Crystal Beatrice Nott" He growled, somehow causing Fred and George to snicker.

"Beatrice?" They both whispered with a grin. Crystal glared harshly thinking now wasn't the time.

"What do you think you are doing?" Theodore continued scolding her.

"Well..." Crystal started but couldn't finish. She didn't know what else to say.

"I can fill you in with that." Fred smiled at the boys who finally tore their eyes off of Crystal and looked at the twins. Disgust seemed to fill their face all at once. "I don't expect you to believe me or my humble brother, but she came to Diagon Alley for a reason."

"Enlighten us" Draco drawled not looking enthused at all to see she was with the twins. How he loathed them.

"As you probably know Crystal has been writing us for some time." No one said anything as Fred talked, the air felt so stiff. Crystal wondered how he could keep going. "She really feels awful you know, about not remembering you" He nodded towards Draco who shifted nervously. "She wanted to get you a present, but she hasn't been able to leave the house. So she asked for something specific from us and we've been looking around helping her."

"When she showed up suddenly we were upset, weren't we Fred?" George started while Fred nodded. "We told her we'd take care of everything. She belonged at Malfoy Manor, we both knew this."

"Cut to the point, Blood traitor." Draco growled, his patiences growing thin.

"Look, point is she was sick of trying to look through us. She came to pick up the different research we have done for her, but she wasn't going to go back to Malfoy Manor. She wanted to stay out and look" Fred added hastily, knowing his time was running short.

"We protested you know, the least we could do was slow her down with a meal. She needs it, poor thing looks about two dress sizes smaller." George narrowed his eyes at the boys in front of him, obviously blaming them.

"Is that why you dragged me here? This was your plan the whole time?" Crystal caught on and threw her pent up anger at the twins. "You guys are no better than the bloody trolls keeping me captive."

"Guilty as charged" Fred shrugged "You needed that meal, hate me all you want."

Crystal narrowed her eyes and threw her napkin at the table. "Let's go" She growled at Theo, Blaise, and Draco, but quickly threw a wink at the twins. She was so grateful for their quick thinking. She just hoped the boys would buy it as well.

Once she was up Draco grabbed her arm in a tender manner and looked at the other boys. "You guys go ahead to the manor, I'd like a word with Crystal." His voice was soft, he had to find out for sure if the words were true.

"Don't be too rude, she's a lovely young lady." Blaise teased as he patted Draco on the back.

"As lovely as a blasted-end-skewer." Theo teased.

"Veela, you need to stop getting those two confused." Draco shook his head with a light laugh.

Theo and Blaise gave one last wave before they headed to the fireplace, meanwhile Draco headed into a more private area in the pub to talk to Crystal. He didn't want to be anywhere near the twins, but little did he know they packed extendable ears. Crystal saw it right away and made sure she was facing them at all times to see their reaction.

"Is what the blood traitors say true?" Draco asked at once as he grabbed onto her shoulders searching her eyes for some sort of answer.

Crystal shyly nodded and looked at her feet. "Yes" She whispered softly.

"Why?" Draco asked as he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Because you love me" Crystal was still whispering. She felt if she talked any louder her voice would give her away. It wasn't easy lying to Draco, but she didn't want to get in trouble. She ran away that was one thing, but to be seen with blood traitors that was another. "And I don't remember you. Whenever I think of that...I can't sleep. I couldn't imagine what I would do if the one I loved didn't remember a thing about me. Doesn't it tear you up inside? I don't think I could go on living knowing that." Crystal rambled on. Her words were becoming more and more true as she went on. Draco's features began to soften even more as he pulled Crystal into a tight hug.

"I carry on knowing that one day you'll remember me." He whispered.


	3. Chapter 3: Fight and Fate

**Chapter 3: I'm ready for the fight and fate.**

**A/N: Really sorry for the delay…I feel so bad I'll be posting a picture of the art I'm working on, since one of them looks like how I imagined Crystal to look like (It's an alphabet book for a digital illustration class…I'll post it in my profile thingy). Anyways! I really hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Crystal couldn't sleep. The ball was the next day and she was scared. She had every right to be too, she had to get this right. It wasn't just her fate relaying on this silly predicament, it was Draco's as well. She began to pace back and forth. Nothing was helping. She stopped pacing hastily and headed over to her desk. She pulled out some parchment and a quill, but she couldn't write either. She attempted to write Fred and George, that letter got scrapped. Then she tried writing to Neville, but that only got her as far as writing him name. She gave up writing all together and scattered her paper on the floor with a growl. Frustrated she ruffled her hair and headed for the door. As quietly as she could knowing it was one in the morning she tipped toed over to Draco's room which was right next to hers and gave his door a tiny tap.<p>

She heard movement at once, it sound like he had to be awake. Sure enough within seconds the door was open and Draco was leaning against the door in is pajamas with ruffled hair. It was the first time Crystal had seen him without his hair slick back and she couldn't help but stare, he looked so normal and so handsome.

"Draco, I'm really sorry," Crystal gushed as she shivered slightly from the chill of the night. "But I couldn't sleep." She confessed.

"I know" Draco sighed and opened his door. He was up himself, so he wasn't upset that she was here at this hour. He was upset though that she was here. She didn't belong near him. He couldn't protect her. He couldn't save her…he was no good for her.

"You know?" Crystal questioned as she stepped in his dimly lit room. He had obviously been up judging by the candle light that was pouring from the right corner of the room.

"I can't sleep till I know you are a sleep." He confessed as he watched her closely.

A tiny blushed formed on her face, but she turned away from him. She instead studied his room. His bed was right up against the wall, if that wall wasn't there…their beds would be touching. No wonder he couldn't sleep, he could probably hear her being restless. "Why?" She questioned still not looking at him but now to the right hand of the room where the soft light was illuminating a painting she had not noticing before.

"I feel better knowing you are safe and right next to me." He said lightly while putting a hand on her shoulder and steering her away from his paintings over to the couch that faced his small library. He didn't want her to see what haunted his every night sleep. The mutilated pictures of her, the torture she had endured over the course of her life that he had witnessed. Or her screams that seemed to paint across his mind. His only outlet was through his paintings. He found peace in them, knowing she is still a live and safe.

Crystal took a seat on his couch and curled up as far away from him as she could. "Have I been in here before?" She asked curiously attempting to draw away from her now red cheeks.

"Yes," He responded watching her closely as her eyes scanned every last bit of the room. "We used to sometimes play in here as children. Or even you would meet over here for breakfast when our fathers were out and we eat together."

"Really?" She pulled her eyes away from the books over to Draco. He was smiling at her fondly. How much pain he had to have been in right now? "Can we do that again? Eat breakfast in here?" Crystal asked with hopeful eyes.

"If you want too," He had no idea what to say to her. He didn't want her to get any closer. He felt so ashamed of himself. He let his angel, his light get hurt and she was back. She was getting to know him and trying her hardest.

"Tomorrow then," She leaned forward smiling widely as she grabbed Draco's hand. "I'll be here in the morning and we can eat together."

Draco frowned "I don't think we should." He said as he pulled his hand away from hers.

Crystal's face fell, "Why not?" She tried not to pout, but she couldn't understand why he wouldn't like that idea. It was as if his mind was at war, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be near her or not.

"We have a big day tomorrow, you should sleep in." He stated hoping she would buy that, but he frown deepened and her eyes seemed to shine with tears. He felt awful, he didn't want to hurt her anymore. But what choice did he have? She was safe with the twins, they would do anything for her. That he knew…and she was so happy with them. Who was he to test that? He couldn't even gain the Dark Lord's favor…

"I'm a big girl, Draco." She turned away from him and began looking around once more. He was starting to drive her insane. Why wouldn't he make up his mind?

"I never said you weren't, I just think you should sleep in." He tried to keep his tone light, but that was hard to do. He just wished she wouldn't question so much.

She turned back over to Draco, who was still watching her, and narrowed her eyes. "What happened to you loving me? Or is that a lie that people have been spoon feeding me as well?" She growled.

Draco blinked, she hit a nerve. "No!" He cried out and shook his head. "I do…I mean I care for you. I just believe you shouldn't be with me."

"We don't have a choice in that though. So it doesn't matter what you believe or not now does it?" Crystal growled and reached forward taking both of his cold hands into hers.

"It does matter! I know in my heart you belong with one of the twins. They could take care of you much better than I could!" He cried out and tried to push her away, but she wouldn't let him. She pulled him into a tight hug.

"I don't know if they could or couldn't." She admitted still holding him tight. "But I want to find out, meaning I want to get to know you. Can't I at least try that?"

He finally managed to push her away. "I'm not worth it." He protested.

"I'll be the judge of that." Crystal smiled warmly.

"Crystal, you aren't as happy with me as you are with the twins. I know that, you don't need to cover that up." He sighed and shook his head. He wishes she could see it his way. All the pain she had to suffer because he was too weak…too weak to protect her.

"Draco, you're an idiot" She said flatly and got up. "I'll see you in the morning for breakfast."

"And if I don't let you?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I'll scream, cry, and throw a fit. The Dark Lord won't appreciate that and it will be your arse on a platter, not mine." She smirked before leaving. She felt a lot better, just being able to talk to someone. Draco didn't seem like a bad person really, she just wasn't sure about tomorrow. She felt better knowing it was him and not someone else, though to be honest if it was Blaise this would be a lot easier. At least she knew Blaise. She went to bed with a smile though, feeling a lot calmer than before.

When Crystal woke up she immediately headed for Draco's room. She was hoping he wouldn't be a pain, she didn't want to through a fit today. But when she knocked there was no answer, it seemed he probably was going to be a pain. Cautiously she opened his door. She looked in noticing that the curtains were wide open, though despite the morning light the room was still dark from its black, silver, and dark green décor. She shook her head, such a Slyhterin she thought as she walked towards his bed. His figure still curled up and wrapped in several blankets. She couldn't help but smile as she walked closer and watched him. He seemed so peaceful and didn't have his scowl or sneer. It felt so familiar and so much like home to her. She stood there for a while longer before she decided to explore his room a bit more, not wanting to disturb his sleep.

Crystal turned away from his bed and found herself facing his paintings. She couldn't help but gasp at the one on the canvas. Carefully she walked over and stared at it. Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes. It was her, laid out on dark stairs with blood pouring from her head. Her body had a light yellow glow as if she had recently been hit with a curse, and near her was Harry reaching out in horror. It was her…in her department of mysterious. It's what her dreams played every night. That horror…the fear filled her body making her legs buckle. She landed with a loud thud on the floor as she began to sob. She completely forgot where she was and started to get absorbed in what she was seeing.

_"Harry, you give Lucius that prophecy and I swear it to Merlin I will murder you." Crystal pointed her wand at Lucius with a devilish smirk as she spat blood on the ground._

_"Crissy…" Harry whispered but it went unheard._

_The room seemed to stop. There was no attention on Neville anymore. All eyes were on Crystal. And they were on Crystal because Lucius moved his wand off of Harry over to Crystal as he stared at her for the first time. He blinked several times and took in her Gryffindor robes. It's like he was contemplating something before he spoke. When he did finally spoke the words rang in the air and the Death Eater's listened intently. "Crystal Nott?" He spat. "What do you think you are doing?" He wasn't as composed as he was before._

_"Nott?" Bellatrix roared with laughter._

_Crystal almost switched her wand to her, but she kept it firm on Lucius. "Hexing you" Crystal smirked one last time before she fired a spell "PETRIFICUS TOT—" She started but Lucius was much quicker. He didn't hesitate as he cast a spell at her._

_Harry stepped down and went to shield her but he was too late. Her body seemed to fly in slow motion down the steps. _

She rested her head in her hand and leaned to the floor. Lucius…Lucius…he was the one who hexed her. Her sobbing stopped and turned into a hiccup. The images flashed in her head…he looked so much like Draco.

Draco Malfoy…

She backed away from the painting Lucius nearly killed her. He looked like Draco…he was Draco's father. She couldn't help it. She let out a loud scream and began to rock back and forth as screams shuttered throughout her body, waking Draco at once.

"Crystal!" He quickly shot up and looked around. His eyes widened, he should have put that painting away. He quickly threw his blankets off and grabbed Crystal and pulled her into his lap, but she was struggling and screaming.

"What is going on?" The door flew open and the Dark Lord himself sauntered in with Bellatrix, and Nott Senior at their heels, followed slowly by Narcissa.

No one answered the Dark Lord though. Crystal stopped screaming and looked up at Draco, fear filling her eyes. She began to trash and attempt to push away. But he held her even closer. "Shhhh calm down everything is okay." He breathed, but she wasn't calming down.

She was confused.

She started screaming once more. "No, it's not! Let me go! You are going to murder me!" She screamed still trashing.

"Crystal Beatrice Nott" Her father said with authority. She stopped trashing and attempted to look over at her father.

"Draco is not going to kill you." The Dark Lord growled, what was going on.

Without thinking Crystal took the chance to push Draco away and hide behind the Dark Lord timidly. "I don't know that…" She muttered.

The Dark Lord grabbed her roughly and looked her in the eyes. "Look, after today he's your fiancé so whatever this non-sense is over, it needs to stop. Otherwise we will need to take a rough form of punishment." He growled at her.

"That won't be necessary." Draco said loudly as he stood up gaining his composure, but deep inside his mind was a battle. Whatever flashed in her mind scared her badly. He was having a hard time shaking it off. "She needs to see a healer. It seems she had a memory relapse."

"Bellatrix" The Dark Lord snapped, pulling his eyes off of Crystal but not letting go of her.

"Yes, m' lord?" She said at once and appeared at his heels with excitement.

"Go get a healer." He commanded, slightly turning at Bellatrix for only a second before focusing on Crystal. He wanted her to be just right for tonight. Tonight had to be perfect. The press would be at this ball and it could alter everything he ever wanted. She would be the model for all pureblooded females to follow.

It took a while to calm Crystal enough to talk about what she had seen to the Healer, but when she finally did they were able to set everything straight. The morning was delayed ever so slightly, which meant Crystal's prep team was running late. She was very irritable and when they started on her hair, skin, nails, and make-up she wanted nothing to do with them. But she didn't have a choice. Narcissa was there the whole time giving instructions and making her more frustrated because she felt like she needed to be sweet around Narcissa.

The ball was at seven and it was now six. Getting Crystal ready ended up taking up most of the day and she was nearly ready to go to bed. But she didn't get that chance. She was dolled up in her beautiful Lavender dress, her hair curled and cascading down her back, and light make-up making her seem as if she was a perfect angel.

She was sent up to her room to wait for someone to get her, but she was restless. She wanted to escape, but there was nowhere to go. She wanted to scream, but knew that wouldn't do her any good. She instead paced the room until she gave up and headed over for Draco's room. She wasn't sure why, after what happened this morning she wanted nothing to do with him but she knew that wasn't an option. She knocked ever so softly and waited. She could hear voices in there, Draco clearly wasn't alone.

"One moment please." Draco called politely to the door and soon enough he was there with a smile.

"Draco" Crystal whispered feeling all courage from her slip away.

Draco stared at her, she was beautiful. He couldn't believe how perfect she looked and normal. After this morning he didn't believe he'd ever see her look normal and happy, but here she was. "Crystal, you look lovely, like a real princess." He smiled lightly as he grabbed her hand to give it a light kiss, but her hand twitched away, she was afraid.

"T-thank you" She shuttered and let Draco kiss her hand, but she shook the whole time.

His heart fell farther. "You are getting your dream." He smiled trying to ignore her fear. "Your very own ball" He opened the door and welcomed her in.

"She will be regretting that dream the minute she enters the ballroom." Theo laughed.

"Theo" Draco rolled his eyes and ushered Crystal in the room. "He doesn't mean it, really."

But Crystal wasn't listening, she was staring at Draco with worry as his hand was on the nave of her back. She was trying not to shake, but she was afraid. She needed to stop this fear before they made it into the ballroom tonight.

"Crystal? Are you alright?" Theo asked. Now that he got a good look at her, he noticed how fearful she looked. He knew this morning she had caused a scene, but he didn't know the details. Draco wouldn't fully tell him either. It didn't seem good though, from what he gathered a memory was triggered.

She still didn't respond, she was peaking around the room. Blaise was reading a book ignoring them, while Crabbe and Goyle sat on the other couch whispering to each other. They all were dressed in their finest robes, she smiled weakly before looking at Draco who had removed his hand and was facing her with concern. "Yes, sorry" She smiled warmly and bowed. "I'm just a little tired." She lied flawlessly.

"I told you to go to bed last night." Draco sighed.

Blaise set his book down "You did now? What were you to doing last night?" He teased raising his eyebrows suggestively at the two.

"Shut up," Draco growled.

Crystal giggled "Nothing you weren't already doing with your right hand."

"Enlighten me" Blaise got up and started walking over towards Draco and Crystal, but Draco stopped him with his deep anger.

"Nothing happened," He scowled to Blaise then turned to Crystal "And you stop feeding the fire. You aren't being very lady like."

Crystal blinked at him, was he always this up tight? She wishes she could remember what he was like. She was told so many times that she was in love with him, but so far she has seen no reason to love him or like him as more than a friend. He was so uptight, angry and demanding. Was he just pushing her away? Or was this really what he was like?

"Oh relax, when did you become such a tight wad around Crissy?" Blaise said, seeming to answer Crystal's question slightly.

Draco didn't answer, he growled and went over to the couch ignoring them and heading into a whisper with Crabbe and Goyle.

"You'll have a lovely time. The press is simply going to eat you up." Blaise grinned in his attempted to lighten the mood. He grabbed her hand and twirled her. "Look at you beautiful!"

"They will eat her up even more because of what happened in the ministry of magic." Theodore joined in with a grin. "Not much was known about you till then."

"Yeah, then there was a scramble for information on 'The Lost Nott Child'." Blaise laughed as he used air quotes.

"Really?" Crystal looked between the two. She had never known about this, of course after what happened all the newspapers were typically hidden from her. But hearing this excited her. She always wanted to be known as a Nott, she was proud of who she was, even if she should be ashamed.

"We aren't supposed to talk about it, but after tonight the cats out of the bag." Theodore sighed and grabbed his sister's hand. "You will do fine tonight."

"Of course she will, the headlines tomorrow will read 'The Nott child, Harry Potter's best friend, to be engaged with Death Eater's son.' Oh your little Gryffindork friends will eat that up." Blaise laughed with a grin. He hated her Gryffindor friends and he like everyone else in the room couldn't imagine why she bothered hanging out with them. They were all dirt. Every last one of them, the sooner she learned that the better.

"They already know" Crystal shrugged. "But I'm sure it will be gossip to last for a while."

"A nice break from that chosen one shit." Theo rolled his eyes.

"Chosen one?" Crystal raised an eyebrow looking from Blaise to her brother.

"Never you mind." Blaise quickly said grabbed Crystal by the waist and ushering her to the couch. "Let's go over some basic things she needs to know since this is her ball."

Crystal groaned, "Narcissa went over this a million times." She was not thrilled with it ether. Everyone seemed to be afraid that she was going to mess up, because apparently there was a lot to mess up. But she understands their point of view. This was for the Dark Lord and therefore it had to be perfect, they couldn't mess up his perfect plan.

Regardless they went over several conversation starters and the like. They did this until Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and Theodore had to leave to head down to the ballroom. They all wished her luck, but she felt luck wouldn't save her. She felt so nervous right now, especially because she was alone with Draco.

He didn't seem much better than she felt. He kept pacing back and forth and would lift his hand up to his hair before realizing he couldn't mess it up, and then drop his hand. Crystal kept opening and closing her mouth, she felt like she should comfort him, but she didn't know what to say. This was such a mess. How could two people possibly have their lives laid out for them so well?

She tried to shake it off, but she couldn't. Her thoughts were jumbled and the time flew by too quickly. Before she knew it though, it was time for them to go down. Draco's demeanor changed at once. He went from being sullen and grumpy to happy and…what was the other emotion? Could it have been love? Did he throw everything away to get ready for the show? Crystal wasn't sure.

"You ready?" He smiled warmly and held out his arm for her to take.

She attempted to smile but she felt sick. She still sat there on the couch, not sure what to say. She was sure this was something she wanted her whole life. To have her own ball and to have Draco to herself, but right now she wanted nothing to do with him. The morning's scene flashed before her eyes. She couldn't help but coward away.

Draco walked over to her and kneeled before her. "Crystal," He whispered as he set his hands on hers. "I know this won't be believable coming from me, I haven't been the best of friends I could possibly be. In fact it's my fault we are in this situation. It's my fault you don't remember." His eyes started to water. He leaned forward and rested his head on her hands. "But I promise, tonight is your night. I won't let anything happen to you." He promised as he tilted his head to peak at her. She was staring straight at Draco, but her eyes looked so empty.

"Thank you," She said unsure of herself "Can you do me a favor?" She asked timidly.

Draco lifted is head up and smiled at her. "Anything for you," He said warmly.

"Could you leave your wand up here?" She asked.

It seemed too simple to her, but to Draco it was a huge let down. He felt as if several hippogriffs just trampled on him. He was already fighting back tears. He had truly let her down. If only he had stepped in earlier. If only he had protected her better. Her memories would be with her and she wouldn't be afraid of him. "I can't," He finally said truthfully.

"Please? I just…I'm sorry, I'm really scared" She cried as she pushed him off, hiding her face in her hands. She didn't know how else to break it to him. She didn't know him that well and he could very well be just like his father. She didn't remember anything about him and given his anger recently she wouldn't be surprised if he hexed her. She didn't know how to describe it, but once she saw his face she felt miserable. She shouldn't have asked it. He had new agony etched upon his face.

"I honestly can't Crystal." He sighed "The Dark Lord wants everyone on their highest guard." He told her as he stood up and held out his hand. She didn't take it though as a frown traced upon her lips.

"Why? I'm not in any danger am I?" She questioned as new worry began to fill her.

"No, there is a high possibility that the Order will attempt to kidnap you tonight." Draco stated flatly.

"And couldn't Fred and George just take me the other day when I ran off? If they wanted me they would have gotten a hold of me by now." Crystal stood up ignoring Draco's hand. "I'm here for a reason and the Order respects that. If at any time I would be in danger, they would protect me."

If Draco felt bad before he felt even worse now. That was a promise they would surely keep. "Let's head down, we are going to be late."

She sighed and grabbed his hand tightly. "Fine," She growled hoping this evening would go better than the rest of the day had.


	4. Chapter 4: Yesterday

**Chapter 4: But I miss you more than I did yesterday.  
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**A/N: The main reason of this story is to see Draco's point of view…or at least that's my plan. I love that kid :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Crystal swallowed hard. Her blood was pumping fast in her veins. She had waited for this moment for years. It was her moment to shine. Her moment to prove to her father she was worthy of the title Nott. It all boiled down to this, but yet this isn't how she imagined it. She imagined it with the one she loves, not someone she can't remember. If she would have stayed in America things would have been different. But she was here and there was nothing she could do. She had to keep her head high. This is what she wanted, even if she would rather be holding Fred and George's arms instead as she walked into the elegant ball room, but that was out of the question.<p>

She slowly turned her head and looked at the beautiful grey eyes. She smiled slowly, but didn't let the smile met her eyes.

"Are you ready Crystal?" Draco smiled warmly as his hand reached out for the beautiful silver door handles.

She held on to his gaze a moment longer before nodding and turning towards the door. "Yes, let's have some fun." She smirked "Shall we?"

Draco let out a small laugh before opening the doors. "Of course my darling," He whispered as she clutched his hand fearfully. Together the two of them walked in slowly and gracefully as the band started to play a beautiful number, slowly clapping filled their ears and flashing lights began to form around them. Crystal nearly staggered backwards from the camera's, the OH's and AH's, and most of all the stunning ballroom, but Draco held her firmly as he led her to the middle of the dance floor. As he led her Crystal couldn't help but want to cry, Narcissa really out did herself. The decorations were outstanding. Beautiful lavender flowers were floating gracefully in the air, along with delicate crystal candles. The large bay windows had lovely silk currents that matched the flowers. Everything looked perfect and glorious. She couldn't help but feel she didn't deserve this, especially from a woman she couldn't remember. She made a note in her head to thank her.

"Crystal," Draco whispered as they made it to the center of the dance floor.

"What?" She whispered back realizing she had been spacing out as the crowd grouped around them.

"Put your arm around my shoulders." Draco commanded sweetly as he rested his hands around her waist. He was smiling. The press was eating it, just as the Dark Lord wanted it. If only Crystal didn't look so afraid…She seemed to be slightly shaking as she nodded and put her hands around his waist. Was she still afraid of him? Or was it all the attention.

"This song—" Crystal started to say as Draco began to move, she quickly followed into a slow waltz as the crowd gave a small clap. "This is familiar…where have I heard it before?" She asked Draco with a smile. She knew that smile should stay on her face at all times. She had to look like she was enjoying herself.

Draco felt his lips form into a true smile. He kept his eyes on her the whole time. He was given instructions and he would follow them exactly as ordered. "It was played at my ball, right before I started Hogwarts."

"Was I there?" Crystal asked with wide curious eyes that were focused on Draco. She didn't want her eyes to wonder away. There was such a large turn up for this ball. So much press, so many ministry officials, and so many Death Eaters it was all very overwhelming.

"Of course you were, I choice you to be my partner for the evening." Draco pushed her away in a perfect twirl, noticing at once the cameras went wild.

"Did I have fun?" She question as soon as her body made it back in his arms.

"That's not really for me to answer." Draco gave her hand a tiny squeeze, letting her know they could talk about this later. He wanted to make sure she had the rules laid out. He knew they had been over this millions of times before, but it was crucial she got it right. The Dark Lord was in the room, using polyjuice potion, but he was still in the room. This had to go as planned or it was his fate on the platter, not Crystal's. No, the Dark Lord favored her too much and after what happened a while ago nothing was her fault. "Crystal, I need you to promise me something."

Her smile fell, quickly before anyone could see is she rest her head on Draco's chest as they carried on swaying to the music. "I'll try my hardest."

"Trying your hardest isn't good enough this time. You need to be flawless tonight, I don't care if you act like I'm one of those blood traitors, you need to get this right." He watched as she lifted her head and let out a giggle. She was doing great so far, he had to admit that.

"I'll be flawless." She promised.

They carried on dancing for a while longer before other couples started to join in. Crystal was feeling rather happy. Everything seemed to be going well. Even when they had to make their way around and mingle with people, that even seemed to be going well. She was able to hold a decent conversation with the minister of magic and to her surprise Percy Weasley. After that they mingled a bit more talking with different pureblood families and other important figures. Draco always decided who they would talk to next, which was beginning to get old. All the talking was wearing Crystal down, so after a while she excused herself to head over to the punch bowl. She was surprised Draco let her leave his side, but he was talking with some family Crystal wasn't familiar with. And to be honest she was tired of hearing 'I wasn't aware the Nott's had a daughter till I read the Daily Prophet' or 'Are you really best friends with Harry Potter?' it was getting a little old, but that was to be expected.

"Crystal dearest, the girl of the hour," A falsely sweet voice slithered in her ear. "Fancy a couple of questions?"

Crystal looked up to see a lady with obvious fake blonde hair, dark green dress robes, and horn rimmed glasses staring at her with a notepad and quill in hand. "I don't see why not." Crystal shrugged now wishing Draco was here.

"Lovely," They lady grinned wickedly as she pulled Crystal aside to an empty table. She set the quill down a once and tapped it with her wand letting it do the writing for her. "All this hush, hush. First time we hear about you is when you were in the Ministry of Magic with Potter, any reason for that? Your father wouldn't comment." She leaned forward interesting in this juicy gossip.

"He doesn't like to boast about me too much." Crystal threw out the lie she had been drilled on over and over again, and added a sickly sweet smile with it. "I studied aboard in America until this year."

"America? Fantastic," She smiled but didn't seem interested, obviously that lie wasn't what this reported wanted. "So you are close with Harry then?"

"I'd say we are friends yes." Crystal smiled, not sure how she should answer that one so she didn't lie she answered it truthfully.

"Oh lovely," The reported said while turning to her notes "No, cross that last bit out."

Crystal frowned at the quill, what could it possibly be writing?

"Rumor has it you nearly died defending him?" The quill scribbled furiously.

"I wasn't really defending him. I was trying to save Neville, Neville Longbottom at the time." Crystal continued to frown. She wasn't sure if she was saying the right things. Where was Draco? He would surely be able to save her.

"Fabulous," She grinned. "But what about you and the Malfoy boy? Grand entrance I would say." The quill seemed to be going wild at this point.

Crystal tried to peak at it but the lady slightly pulled it out of her view. "What of it?" She said trying not to give too much away.

"Do you have feelings for him?" She questioned, loving every minute of this. This would surely make it to the front page. The ball was strictly for introducing the Nott Daughter, which was a lot of gossip in itself but if she could make this into a scandal, oh that would be fabulous!

Crystal let out a tiny giggle, feeling it was appropriate. "I've known him since I was little, I love him very much." She smiled acting as best as she could.

"Love?" The lady practically squealed. "When did you first know?" She questioned eagerly waiting for Crystal's response.

But that didn't come, "I can tell you the first moment I knew I was in love with Crystal, was when she was being sent to America to study abroad." Draco's silky voice filled in as he rested a gentle hand on Crystal's shoulder.

"How heart breaking," The reporter said but didn't really seem to believe the words she said.

Draco ignored the tone and carried on. It was as if he dealt with reporters all the time. "The minute she left I felt my heart breaking." Draco smiled down at Crystal who looked taken aback.

"You never told me this." Crystal looked at him with wide eyes.

Draco grabbed her hand lightly and planted a gentle kiss on it. He noticed she slightly pulled back but she still wore a smile. "I don't like talking about it to much, princess." He squeezed her hand and gave her one last look before turning to the reporter. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I would like to have a dance with my girlfriend."

"Not a problem at all, it was a lovely chat!" The lady called out as Draco was already leading Crystal to the dance floor.

He pulled her into a quick waltz "The one reporter to approach you had to be Rita Skeeter." He groaned.

"That was Rita Skeeter? Oh god…" Crystal groaned slightly. "Well, she will eat her heart out once father makes the announcement." She whispered with a giggle.

"Crystal," He smiled as he dipped her down and picked her back up. "I meant what I said. I realized I loved you the moment you left for America."

"I wish I could remember that day." Crystal bowed her head, feeling ashamed.

"I remember it clearly." Draco grabbed her chin lightly and made her look at him in the eyes. "But to be honest, I don't think you ever loved me the same as you do that one Weasley twin." He sighed.

"Which one?" She questioned letting her body slow as the song turned into a much slower ballad.

"The one that kissed you before they left the school," Draco watched her closely. His eyes never left hers. He had to know what she really felt. If they were going to be in this together, he wanted her whole heart not half.

"Fred," She tried not to frown. She was oddly aware of the eyes that were still watching them. "I don't know what feelings I had for you."

"What feelings do you have for Fred?" He questioned, hoping for the best but he was sure he already knew the answer.

"We are frowning too much. We need to change the topic." Crystal pointed out as she noticed her father nearby with a raised eyebrow. The look alone was so familiar. It sent a shiver up her spine. So many memories flashed through her. She wanted to do this right. She threw a smile on her face hoping Draco would willingly change the topic.

"Do you trust me?" Draco asked suddenly.

Crystal's face went back to a frown. "Why?" She asked not sure what he was getting at.

"Answer the question." He smiled and carried on spinning her elegantly across the dance floor.

"I think so," Crystal smiled weakly. She wasn't sure what form of trust she was willing to give Draco yet. She felt like she was just learning about him day by day. It was fun learning about him, but she wasn't sure if she trusted him fully.

Draco gave her a smile, "Thank you," He whispered. Then without warning he leaned in and planted a tiny kiss on her forehead.

Crystal was shocked as a blush formed on her cheeks. She didn't say anything, instead buried her head in his chest acting embarrassed that Draco would dare show their love in public. Truth be told she was embarrassed, but more scared then anything. She barely knew him and wanted to make these decisions on her own. She felt so rushed. Shouldn't she have time to sort her feelings out?

"I love you," He whispered softly in her ear as she hid. He didn't expect a response from her. He just wanted her to know. She deserved to know that even though he's been rotten to her, he still loves her. He just wants her safe and most of all he just wants her happy.

"I know," She lifted her head off of his chest and gave him a big smile.

They danced a little bit longer, until Draco decided they needed a break. From there they mingled a bit more, drank a little punch, and headed outside for some fresh air where they were joined by Blaise and Theodore. It was the first time they got to talk to any of their friends since the evening started. The ball seemed like it was starting to wind down, it was nearing eleven o'clock and Crystal was growing weary. After a long chat filled with much needed laugher they headed back in. Draco suggested that they take one more dance and then she could probably slip away unnoticed. But this left Crystal with an odd feeling in her stomach. Wasn't her dad supposed to make a speech about her betrothal to Draco? Was she missing something? Wasn't this what this party was all about?

They were dancing away, when her favorite song chimed on. She couldn't help but smile as she danced and twirled in Draco's arms, feeling at peace and happy. She was also getting tired so she was truly glad he said this would be the last song. But the song grew softer and Draco stopped dancing at once. The room seemed to fall into an eerie silence. All eyes were on them as Draco fell to one knee and held her hand tightly in his.

"Crystal, I know we aren't of age yet." He smiled warmly, he tried not to shake. To be honest he was afraid. His fears were growing even worse as he saw her eyes were starting to swell with tears. "But I will be next summer and I would love nothing more than for you to be mine." He let go of her hand slowly and reached in his dress robe pocket. Carefully he pulled out a beautiful black box and opened it. "I would be honored if you would accept this ring and become my wife." He wore his best smile because he truly meant it. But he wishes there weren't so many people.

Crystal had covered her face with her hands. She was acting shy, but Draco knew better she was crying. This wasn't what she was expecting. She was expecting a traditional announcement from the pureblood fathers. Not this…this was too much. She was caving in. She attempted to compose herself. "Oh Draco," She breathed softly as she tore her hands away from her face and threw her arms around him.

He let her bury her face into his chest as the crowd clapped happily for the couple. They thought she was accepting his offer, when really she was tearing herself apart.

"You did great," Draco whispered to her as he pulled her into a tight hug. He waited a bit longer for her to gather her courage to go on, then he let go of her.

"Draco, I love you so much." Crystal smiled as the tears streaked her face. The smile carried to her eyes, one would almost think they were tears of happiness, but Draco knew better. "I couldn't ask for anything more." She threw her arms around him once more as photographs were taken. He spun her around giving the best show he could. She pulled herself together as well as she could. She had too, by the time they broke apart everyone was around them congratulating them and asking for stories upon stories of why they wanted to be together. Even her father joined in and said if Draco had not asked, they would have betrothed the two of them. This carried on for some time, before Crystal and Draco were dismissed saying they needed time alone.

But Crystal didn't want to be alone with him. This wasn't how she pictured it. Usually a betrothal involves the fathers announcing it as if it's the highest honor. Her dad didn't say that until they were talking with the press. She felt betrayed. Why didn't anyone bother telling her this is how she was going to be asked?

As Draco guided her up the stairs she couldn't help but look down at the beautiful ring. It was lovely, no doubt goblin made. But that didn't make her feel better, the more she stared the more her anger stirred. She couldn't take it anymore. She ripped her hand free from Draco's and ran up the stairs. She bolted it straight for her bedroom and ignored Draco's pleads for her to wait up. She slammed the door and ran straight for her bathroom. He would never dare come in there. She knew he wouldn't. She closed the door tightly and sat in the bathtub letting her thoughts escape for a bit. But she couldn't focus Draco was calling on the other side of the door.

"Crystal, I'm sorry." He called softly but she wasn't listening. The more he talked the more she wanted to run. This house felt like a prison. She needed to leave. She quickly stood up in the bathtub and knocked several bottles of bubble bath to the floor with a loud clutter. "Crystal? Are you alright?" Draco asked causing her more rage. She picked up several discarded bottles and began throwing them at the wall.

"No!" She screamed throwing more and more, several were glass and shattered with a start.

"I'm coming in!" Draco said calmly.

"No, no you aren't." Crystal growled and threw a beautiful pink glass bottle of bubble bath at the door. It shattered leaving streaks of pink in its wake as rose smells filled the air.

"I'll call your father." Draco threated.

Crystal thought about it for a moment. "You come in I'll rip your manhood off with my bare hands."

Draco sighed and she heard a thud as if he slammed his head on the door. "I'll give you ten minutes to crawl out the window and hide in the garden. If you aren't gone by then and I can't find you," He sighed once more "You will have to play by my rules."

Crystal didn't say anything. She went over to the window and opened it wide into the summer night. She stared at the vines the perfectly formed right near the window. She stared at them feeling a wave of familiarity, but didn't say anything. Draco knew that she used to do this all the time. It was as if he knew that she did this a lot. A part of her wanted to trust him, but she didn't trust herself. Not in this dress. She peered out the window a bit more, letting her precious minutes tick away. Had she really done this before?

That's when in idea came to her. She saw her balcony and close by was Draco's. She could easily get to hers and from there jump on to Draco's. That wouldn't be so hard. She could easily escape down the hallway then, right? If Draco wanted to play hide and seek who was she to deny him?

She took faith in her memory and latched onto the surprisingly sturdy vines. Slowly she inched her way over to the balcony. Swallowing hard she grabbed onto the railing and pulled herself up, wondering if she was always this strong.

It didn't take her long before she found herself in Draco's room. Crystal had planned on escaping out the door, but something on the bedside table made her stop dead in her tracks. It was a beautiful silver picture frame, no doubt made of silver, but that wasn't what caught her eye. It was the picture inside. She gaped at it for a bit before her mind processed that it was her in the picture. She was wearing a dress similar to the one she had on now but she was younger. She had to have been at least 10 years old. She had a huge smile plaster on her face as she twirled and danced with a young Draco.

She sat down on Draco's bed and continued to watch the picture in awe. They were so happy, the two of them, dancing. Had it always been that way? Was this picture taken from their last ball together? Or had they had other balls other than this one?

Her anger slowly seeped away as she stared at it more and more. Crystal shook her head, had ten minutes gone by? She needed to see Draco. Before she knew it she was flying back into her room just as Draco was leaving. She managed to startle him and landed right on top of him, pushing them both to the ground as she clutched tightly to the picture.

"Sorry," Crystal blushed as she rolled over on the floor. "I just…Draco is this you and I?" She held up the picture frame to a stunned and confused Draco.

He blinked at her and looked as if he didn't know who she was. Her eyes were stained red with furious tears, her cheeks were still wet, her hair had fallen and some strands even stuck to her face, but she still looked beautiful especially because she no longer held anger, she held curiosity and happiness. Draco pulled his eyes away from her and looked at the familiar picture. "Yes, that's you and I at my ball several years ago."

"Your birthday, right?" She guessed looking up hopefully.

"Yes," His answers were short. He didn't want to say too much. He was concerned about her. She was so angry before. He had seen it in her eyes the minute he got down on one knee. The look of anger, horror, and sadness that overwhelmed her broke his heart. How he managed to continue on was beyond him. He just went through the motions and knew what was expected of him. But the way Crystal handled it, he was surprised. He couldn't help but wonder what was going through that broken mind of hers.

"Draco, I shouldn't be mad at you." She pointed out setting the picture down and looking him in the eyes.

"It was my fault, I expect you to stay mad at me forever." Draco sighed. "I could have warned you."

"That's true, but I'm glad you didn't. It worked out for the better." Crystal smiled weakly.

"The Dark Lord wanted it this way. He wanted to test you." Draco admitted.

"Why?" Crystal furrowed her brows. She didn't see what good could come from her being surprised like that.

"You aren't fully trust worthy, Crystal." Draco grabbed the picture off the floor and looked at it, slowly tracing his fingers along their dancing figures. "After what happened in the Ministry of Magic, the Dark Lord is half expecting you to crumble."

"I wonder if he realizes what I'm doing." Crystal muttered to herself.

"What?" Draco wasn't sure what she was getting at.

Crystal let out a wicked smirk. "I'm here for myself. If thinks for a moment he can control me, he has another thing coming." And with that she got up and heading for her closet, she wanted nothing more than to rest her head on her pillow and let sleep engulf her.

Draco sat there stunned. He couldn't understand what she was talking about, but lately who knew with her. She had grown up so much from that little girl in the photo.


	5. Chapter 5: The fear of Life

**Chapter 5: Without the fear of life**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and adds. Seriously, I may not respond them but I do listen to them and take them to heart. I write for fun, so the chapters don't always come out as much as I want, but I'm trying. Homework comes first…and I have a lot sadly. If I could write all day I would, so thank you for waiting for the chapters. This one is extra-long since you guys were waiting so nicely. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>"Crystal?" There was a soft knock on her door. It was later in the morning and she was glad she could sleep in, but whoever was knocking on the door was upsetting her.<p>

"Yes?" She said calmly though she wanted nothing more than to start them on fire.

"Can I come in?" She recognized Draco's soft voice.

"Of course," She sat right up and pulled the blankets tightly around her.

He came in at once looking a little exhausted himself, but regardless he was already dressed and caring in a breakfast tray for her. He set it down on her lap and gave her the warmest smile he could. She didn't look upset, just tired. He couldn't help but notice as she reached out for her food she was wearing the engagement ring proudly. "Good morning, princess." He smiled as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead, knowing full well people were listening outside the door. He was hoping she would be pleasant. "Did you sleep well?"

She frowned as his tone, but she responded none the less. "I suppose I slept okay."

Draco patted her arm and titled his head to the door. Attempted to let her know people were listening. She seemed to get the hint because she nodded and grabbed her pumpkin juice. "Would you like to do some shopping today?" He asked nodding his head to let her know it was a good idea. She figured it was his way of letting her out of the house so they could talk freely.

"I suppose I could use a new quill." She shrugged as she poked around her pancake.

"We can't stay out too long, you have dinner arrangements tonight." He watched her carefully, she seemed to be truthful. She was just exhausted.

"I do? With who?" She asked letting of her fork and frowning.

"Pansy and a couple other Slyhterin girls," Draco smiled as best he could, but her eyes were narrowing and she was wearing her best glare. He was glad she was taking it well enough, but deep down he knew she wanted to raise hell.

"I see," She wasn't thrilled, to be honest the last person she wanted to see was Pansy. But it was an order. She couldn't deny a direct order and she knew that. And it's not that she didn't like Pansy, it's just Pansy hated her. She shook her head at the thought and ate anyways.

The morning went really quick. After she ate, Draco handed her some dress robes and quickly lead her to the fireplace where she was flooed away. To her surprise only Theodore, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco went with. Apparently they were trusted enough to be her guard, that or they couldn't afford to spare anyone else. Either way she was glad. She felt like she could make an escape, but she really didn't want too.

She couldn't help but notice the minute they walked into the Leaky Caldron that heads turned up from the Daily Prophet. People were reading it with their breakfast and would turn as Draco and Crystal held hands and headed out to Diagon Alley. It made her feel so conscious.

"It's okay," Draco whispered reassuringly as he led her down the street.

But she didn't feel reassured. She kept swallowing hard and felt ready to cry. The title of the Daily Prophet made her sick. People were peering up from it and whispering about her. The title followed her everywhere, big and bold: **Potter's lover turned to the Darkside, Crystal Nott engaged to Draco Malfoy.  
><strong>Worst of all was her face following her. The picture on the front page she kept putting her hands up to her face and covering it up out of happiness, but to her all she saw was agony and pain. She looked awful and not happy at all.

She barely paid attention to where they were going till the sounds of happiness and loud tickering toys and jokes a like hit her ears. Draco had pulled her straight into the joke shop. He nodded over to Theodore who disappeared at once. What were they playing at? Moments later she was grabbed by a cloaked figure and lead to the upstairs of the joke shop, forcing her to leave Draco's side.

She swallowed hard and waited until they stopped in what appeared to be a kitchen with a beautiful fireplace in the front. Finally the figure took off their hood and revealed Fred, smiling at her.

"Your brother said to pull you away and take you away for a couple of hours. Something about you needing cheering up," He said with a smile.

At once Crystal lost it. She threw her arms tightly around his neck. "How…merlin's beard, how did they know?"

"The Daily Prophet was hard to see this morning." He shook his head sadly.

"Tell me about it! Crystal in love with Harry? Now that's a stretch. Rita Skeeter tells way too many lies." George popped in with a grin.

"She made you out a hero under love potion though. Said you couldn't even produce a true reason why you love Draco." Fred snorted. "Yeah, if she knew you had memory loss, why you'd be living in Wizard Care."

"Not funny," Crystal shuttered thinking about going into Foster care. Though she was sure Dumbledore would never let that happen. Nor would Lord Voldemort, she'd probably cause a huge battle to be honest. Not that there wasn't one already going on and causing a little bit of mayhem wouldn't hurt right?

"The article was a good laugh. And I'll be a hippogriff. Is that the ring?" George gasped looked at her hand. "Blood hell, that's bigger than your head Fred!"

"I think you meant your head." Fred laughed and looked at it as they both grabbed her hand.

"Stop it you two." Crystal rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, George knock it off." Fred laughed and went over by Crystal. "Come on, mom will be thrilled to meet you."

'Thrilled' was an understatement. She was overly thrilled. The minute Crystal came through the fire with Fred and George she went to work right away making tons of comfort food. She was so kind and kept asking if Crystal really was under love potion. She felt like the blush never left her face. She had only been there for a total of ten minutes and she felt like a tomato. Fred and George loved it. They were tipping their chairs back and forth, laughing at Crystal discomfort. After a while Ginny and Ron came downstairs and joined happily. Everyone seemed to love teasing Crystal about her engagement. They all knew it was coming but it was still hilarious to them. But Ginny, didn't find it too funny. She was being the most serious next to Molly.

"The pictures of the ball really were startling Crystal." Ginny frowned as she flipped through the Daily Prophet for the 100th time that morning. Ginny kept looking at them and frowning. Crystal

"I didn't really see them, other than the front page." She admitted.

"You look miserable." She held up the one where she threw her arms around Draco after he had proposed, she was right. How the public took that as happy was beyond her. "Beautiful, but miserable."

"Thanks?" Crystal laughed trying to shrug it off. "I'm more concerned about why Draco let me come here."

"Your brother just said you needed it." Fred shrugged not really thinking much of it. "But he said and I quote 'You lay your filthy blood traitor lips on hers, I'll curse them right off your face.'" Fred laughed.

"I wondered how he knew it was _you _who kissed her." George laughed.

"You kissed her?" Ron made a face of disgust.

"Where were you?" Ginny laughed, that was so like Ron.

"Busy thinking about Herm—" Fred started to tease but Ron hit him over the head with the Daily Prophet.

"Children, knock it off." Molly scolded setting some food down in front of Crystal.

She wasn't hungry at all, but she couldn't help but accept it. Molly seemed so sweet. "Thank you Mrs. Weasley," She smiled warmly and began to eat the meal before her.

"Not a problem dearie. You are looking a bit thin! No doubt all this stress," She sighed. "Anyways, if you need me I'll be out in the garden." She said before bustling off.

"Heard from Harry yet?" Ron asked the minute his mom left.

"Harry? About what?" She questioned.

"Oh after reading the Daily Prophet, I'll suspect he'll want to Owl you." Ron mumbled.

"No, not yet," She smiled. "How is he doing? Do you guys know? Since…well Sirius died." She asked softly.

"Fine," Ron said quickly.

"What about you? We know you lost your memories of Malfoy…" Ginny fiddled with her thumbs and looked up sadly at Crystal.

"I—yeah, I don't remember him at all." She looked down at her bracelet that she knew he had given her. "It makes this even harder."

"I could only imagine." Ginny whispered. They both nodded at each other, seeming to read each other's minds. "We'll be right back." Ginny smiled and grabbed Crystal pulling her up to her bedroom. The boys didn't question they just let them go. Together they sat in Ginny's room in silence for a bit before Ginny started talking. "What's going through your head?"

"It's hard…because the only memories I have left since Draco is gone from my mind, is what happened between Fred and I." Crystal bowed her head in shame. She wanted to cry. She thought about Fred all the time and felt like if she hadn't had Fred for a bit, Draco would have a better chance right now.

"Malfoy must be hurting a lot. I can't stand him, but the fact that he sent you to the twins must mean something." Ginny set a gentle hand on Crystal's arm. "Especially well, after Fred kissed you in front of the whole school."

"You think he's trying to make up? For forcing me and all?" Crystal asked.

"I'm not sure…he's up to something." She sighed. "And that's never a good thing. He is a slimy git."

Crystal frowned, "He doesn't seem terrible."

"No, I really shouldn't taint your mind, but he's nice around you." Ginny frowned as well. "But, I guess you deserve to know."

And so Ginny began to tell. She told all the little stories she could think of. Every mean and cold-hearted thing Draco did to Crystal's friends throughout the years. Most of them, even before her memory lost she had never heard of. It made her feel bitter towards him, but she listened and nodded. She understood now why her friends never got along. And now she realized why she doesn't fit in with the Slyhterin's. It clicked in her mind now what made her different from them and why she should hate them. After the talk she wasn't sure how to feel, but she still nodded and smiled. She took it the best she could.

They talked for about an hour before Fred, George, and Ron poked their heads in. Fred informed them Crystal could only stay for three more hours, which in the long run, wasn't that long. He didn't think it was fair for Ginny to hog all of her. They went down to the field and played outside for a bit before they came in for lunch. They had a great time laughing and talking. Crystal felt like this was just what she needed. But in the back of everyone's mind was why? Why did Draco and Theodore allow this? They kept coming up with ideas but none of them seemed to fit their character. So they eventual gave up.

They had moved into the living room, it was down to her last thirty minutes and she was starting to grow sad, they all were sad that she would have to leave. But Fred and George also needed to get back to work. They left their store with Mindy, their assistant and didn't tell her when they'd be back, so she must be stressing right now. Their other assistant, Kendall did them a great favor, unknown to Crystal, and took polyjuice potion so that the Dark Lord would believe Crystal was there. Kendall was thrilled. She was a Ravenclaw back in school, in Fred and George's grade, and she was more than willing to pretend to be with Draco.

"I need to go to the bathroom." George announced suddenly after a good joke.

"You know what? I think I do too." Ginny smiled warmly and bounced up on her feet. "Don't you have to as well Ron?"

"What? No…" Ron looked at his siblings like they were crazy, until Ginny kicked him in the shin. "Right, okay okay." He said quickly and got up, leaving Crystal and Fred alone.

Crystal eyed them suspiciously but didn't say anything. She sat there and stretched for a moment before Fred cleared his throat. She looked up from the carpet, where she had been focusing to see Fred sitting right next to her on the couch.

"Crystal, are you doing okay?" He asked softly as he reached out and put his hand on hers. She merely nodded. "Last night, I was worried about you. I could barely sleep. And today when I saw the Daily Prophet…You used to love Draco! And to see you now, it's like you've lost all that! You no longer look happy." He said quickly. He hoped she understood. It wasn't the Daily Prophets words of her getting engaged to Malfoy that hurt him, it was how unhappy she looked. He had never seen her look that awful, not since her first day of Hogwarts. He remembers seeing her then as if she was a zombie. But she was no longer like that. She was filled with life now. But those pictures…she looked more than dead. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. She deserved so much better. When Theodore talked to him, he felt like both Draco and Theodore realized that. It's like they are trying to let her have the life she deserves, away from darkness and Voldemort. But he didn't voice this out loud. This was his little secret. His one hope that Crystal would find her way to him. It may have been selfish, but he thought he deserved that every once in a while.

"I'm not Fred!" She cried letting her mind break down. She let the tears stream down as she leaned into Fred's chest. "I just, I don't know why I'm still there. Something tells me to hold on, to wait it out. But I'm miserable."

Fred held her tightly and stroked her hair. She smelled just like he remembered fresh lavender. "Once school starts you won't have to keep this up. You can hold out right?"

"I hope so," She sniffled and clung onto him tighter.

"You are the strongest girl I know, you can do it." Fred pulled her away from the hug and wiped a couple stray tears of her cheeks.

"I'm curious is to how Theo's going to curse your lips off." Crystal smirked, ignoring her tears.

"Why would he do—" He didn't get to finish, Crystal leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. He couldn't help but smile.

"That's for what we could have had." She smiled and stood up as if nothing happened. But Fred wouldn't let it end that way. He grabbed her hand tightly and pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Crystal." He smiled.

"I love you too, George." She laughed. Fred almost at once lightly pushed her and pouted ever so slightly.

"The one girl who can tell us apart and she messes up." He crossed his arms and gave her his finest glare.

"We can't all be perfect." She shrugged. "Now you guys can stop ease dropping." She turned towards the stair case waiting for the other Weasley's to show their faces. Sure enough, George, Ginny, and Ron made their way down.

"You sure you can't stay longer?" George pleaded as he head down the stairs.

"George, we need to get back to the shop." Fred argued.

"And I have a dinner to attend." Crystal scowled. "With Slyhterin's, if I could stay I would."

"I could just accidently kidnap you." Fred raised his eyebrows suggestively. "You kno—"

"We are not putting her through any more pain." Ginny scolded and put her arms around Crystal. "Besides, it's not like we won't see her again."

"Speak for yourself, your still in school young one." Fred and George said at the same time.

"I'll miss you guys so much." Crystal let out a sigh and quickly threw her arms around the twins.

"Hopefully the prat will let you go again." Ron said. "Maybe when Hermione and Harry get here, that would be the best."

"We'll see what happens, okay?" Crystal smiled and hugged Ron. "Bye!" She smiled to everyone before disappearing into the fire with Fred and George.

The afternoon almost felt too short lived for her, but there was no point in arguing now. She had her small chance of freedom and was in an even better mood. She was cheered up to her finest and almost felt ready to face the Slyhterin girls tonight. Almost…

The minute she got home Draco took her aside and went through what they 'did' today. It sounded like she apparently had a lot of fun. She also seemed to have bought a bit of merchandise. After a while of talking he asked her what she did. He seemed fully interested and she attempted to tell him everything, editing here and there. He said he was happy she had fun and glad she looked better than she did this morning. He told her not to worry about tonight that she would do just fine and she did do just fine. Pansy was nearly civilized and the two other Slyherin's who recently graduated from Hogwarts were actually really pleasant. She had a decent time part of that being because she let her mind drift far away to her afternoon. She couldn't help but wonder if being there was really where she belonged as appose to being here stuck in a mansion doing work she didn't believe in.

The summer dragged on in a similar fashion. She attended balls almost every week. Her arm never left Draco's side. Still the reports flew that she was under a spell and that's why she stayed by Draco's side. She didn't really help to rid those rumors, she couldn't produce a solid happy memory of the two. Draco did all the talking at balls. Crystal just smiled and pretended she cared.

When she wasn't at balls she was attending breakfasts with Narcissa and other purebloods. Then by lunch she was eating with Blaise, Theodore, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle. Evenings when she wasn't at balls, she was forced to attend Death Eater meetings. She didn't always have to go, but when she did she had to stand right behind the Dark Lord the whole time. Crystal wondered why this was, but after a while she began to notice the discomfort that was shown on Draco's face every time she was there and then the slight grin on the Dark Lord's face when he saw Draco's discomfort. He was punishing Draco because of his father's mistakes. It was as if he was daring Draco to do something. Tonight was going to be another one of those nights. School was closing in and things weren't fully looking up for the Death Eaters.

"Crystal?" There was a light knock on her door. She was just finishing putting on her black lacey dress robes, she should have been ready an hour ago, but she wasn't ready for tonight.

"Come in," She called out throwing her cape on over her dress. It was going to be an outdoor meeting in the garden, she wanted to be ready for this. Besides standing by the Dark Lord always makes her cold, she wanted any warmth she could get.

Draco opened the door and walked in. He was ready for tonight. He was in brand new robes, black ones that seemed very similar to the Death Eaters garbs. Crystal ignored it the best she could and smiled regardless.

Draco didn't smile, he frowned. "You still aren't fully dressed." He pointed out as he walked up to her and planted a tiny kiss on her cheek.

"Sorry," She hung her head in shame. "I don't feel so well today." She said truthfully. She was feeling awful. Something in the pit of her stomach was telling her today was going to be a life changing event. She was hoping she was wrong. She wanted to believe she was, but her feelings were usually right.

He stared at her taking in her appearance, she didn't look so good. Did she know what this meeting was about? Surely she didn't…no one said a word to her. Not even the Dark Lord himself, of course why would he? He had been using Crystal to make Draco uncomfortable for days now, weeks even. The Dark Lord knew how much Draco wanted to protect her, but yet he kept pulling her away from his grasp. This is all that stupid Potter's fault. If it wasn't for Potter, his father wouldn't be in Azkaban and he could protect Crystal. "You don't look so well, should I inform the Dark Lord? He may let you rest."

"No, I'm a big girl." She smiled warmly. "Should we head down?" She held out her hand for him to take, but Draco grabbed it and put her hand at her side.

"What's bothering you?" He questioned with concern.

"A lot of things, but you don't need to worry yourself Draco." Crystal promised.

"I'm your fiancé, it's my job to worry." He pointed out.

She turned her back to him and held herself. She looked up at the ceiling several times before looking back down. "Tell me a story, a memory of me and you together." She asked softly.

"What kind of memory?" He smiled as he put his arms around her. He held her tight and rested his chin on the top of her head. He liked her like this. When she wanted a memory she was willing to let him hold her close, any other time and she just barely tolerates it.

"Anyone you want." She said as she grabbed onto his hands, letting his embrace fill her and give her courage.

"Last year, about the third week of school I went to the library. You were sitting there working on an essay for Umbridge and Snape at the same time. You were still mad at me then, but regardless I sat down next to you. At first you didn't say anything. You kept working hard and writing on one essay then moving over to the other one. You did this for about thirty minutes until you let out the biggest sigh I have ever heard and you know what you said to me?" He asked. She could practically feel his smirk on the back of her ear.

"Depends how mad at you was I?" Crystal asked, feeling her spirits lift ever so slightly.

"Pretty mad," He laughed remembering exactly what she said to him.

Crystal let herself free and put her hands on her hips and gave him her best enraged look. "Malfoy you better piss off before I shove my quill up your nose and through your mouth." She said starting off with anger, but towards the end started to laugh.

"How—" Draco blinked several times in disbelief. That's exactly what she said, done to the very last word. He let out a laugh of happiness before picking her up and twirling her in the air. He didn't let her go once he finished spinning her, instead he grabbed her tightly and gave her a big kiss on her lips. He ignored that they should be heading downstairs and just kissed her.

"What-did-I-do?" Crystal asked in between kisses.

"Whatever she did you two are going to be late." Theodore popped in the door, in the same dark clothing as Draco. He wore a strong smile on his lips. He couldn't believe she was willingly let him kiss her like that. He knew her well enough to realize that during the balls she was just tolerating it so that she could survive. He wouldn't be surprised if the minute they got to Hogwarts she turned around and did what the Daily Prophets been predicting, that she would go date Harry Potter. He shuttered at the thought.

Crystal blushed at once and pushed Draco away. "Sorry, my fault," She shuttered slightly and walked away from Draco. She smoothed out her dress robes and headed for the door "Let's go to the meeting then." The smile faltered off her face and she turned serious. Both boys nodded and followed her downstairs to the back door. They walked out feeling the beautiful summer breeze at once. Draco grabbed onto Crystal and led her through the maze of hedges to the center where fairy lights had been set up along with a large dinner table. Crystal couldn't help thinking how ironic it was that they were surrounded by beautiful fairy lights, red roses, and moon flowers while they planned dark deeds in the moonlight.

It looked like they were the last ones to arrive. Everyone was already in their seats, leaving three open ones for Theodore, Crystal, and Draco. The seats were nowhere near each other. But regardless they knew where to go. Draco led Crystal right to the Dark Lord's side and gave a curt nod.

"M' Lord," He said as Crystal sat down looking at her hands with much interest. "I am very sorry for the delay. Crystal recalled a memory just as we were leaving. She did not want to come down till she confirmed it was true." Draco's lie came out so smoothly, but Crystal could see his hands shaking he was afraid.

The Dark Lord looked at Draco for a moment then waved his hand dismissively. Draco gave a quick bow and left for his seat, leaving Crystal at the mercy of the Dark Lord.

"Child, what memory was this?" He asked hopeful. This was the first memory she had recalled since June when she remembered Sir Malfoy sending her to her near death.

Crystal blushed something that she did that around the Dark Lord a lot. She felt it was her body's way of being defensive, that or this attention was too much for her. "It's not a good memory." She said trying not to get the Dark Lords hopes up. He stared at her waiting for her to go on as he twirled his wand threateningly in his hands. She knew she had to tell him regardless of the content of the memory. "I remembered what I said to him last year. It was about the third week of school and I had been work on homework." She recited that from what Draco had told her. The only thing she remembered though, was what she said to him. She didn't even fully remember him being there. He was there, but yet he was blurry. She saw him, but not. "And I was in a foul mood with him, I said to him 'Malfoy you better piss off before I shove my quill up your nose and through your mouth.' What happened after that I don't remember."

"I see," Was all the Dark Lord said before turning away from her and rising up. All conversation ceased and the eyes of the followers fell on the Dark Lord. "Tonight is a very special night." He stated. Everyone held baited breath and waited. Excitement was in the air and the strongest yet was from Bellatrix sitting several seats down next to Draco. Across from Crystal, Professor Snape was looking more bored than usual. "We may be fewer in number since what happened in June, but we are growing every day. It was a minor step back, but here we are so many willing to serve such a great cause." He looked around at his fellow Death Eaters. All of them nodded, even the children of Death Eaters nodded, looking eager and excited. "Tonight we have an even great cause to celebrate. Tonight we welcome new recruits into our numbers."

Cheers came, but Crystal didn't cheer. She didn't smile and she hardly reacted at all. The only thing she did was turn her head slightly to see Draco look smug and proud. Her heart seemed to drop at once. She didn't dare look at her brother. She wasn't sure she was going to make it through the night. Her body began to shiver, she was freezing. There was nothing for her to hold onto, to warm her. If dementors came, there was no patronus she could produce. Her thoughts were dark and void. She stopped listening to the Dark Lord and barely noticed that food appeared on the plates. She didn't know where she was until something hit her shin underneath the table. She looked up puzzled and it hit her, someone was talking to her.

"Child, you do not look well." The Dark Lord pointed out not really sounding like he cared too much. It was more of an observation.

Crystal couldn't figure out why he cared about her so much. She hardly served him. She barely called him Lord and she certainly didn't do anything to win him over. So why was he this way? Crystal knew one reason was leverage on the Malfoy's but the other reasons…she wasn't sure she wanted to know. The thought alone scared her.

"I'm terribly sorry, I'm just freezing." She said the only thing she could think of. She didn't feel well, but it felt week to say that.

"On such a warm evening?" He laughed softly and patted her arm. "Eat up, you'll need your strength."

She tried not to recoil at the touch, but it scared her. She nodded weakly and started to eat. From then on out she focused her attention on Fred and George. She kept replaying different jokes they would tell her. It kept a smile on her face and warmth in her hands. But it didn't slow the time down. Everything felt so fast. Before she knew it the table and chairs were magicked away with a flick of a wand and the Death Eaters formed in their usual ranking. The difference now was that a couple Slyhterin's, whom Crystal knew stood in the middle of the circle. She let out a sigh of relief noticing her brother was not one of them, but couldn't help but let a tear slip down her cheek as she saw Draco in the middle, the youngest out of all the recruits, standing proudly with his smirk.

"Children of the chosen, you stand before me. A wise choice for soon we shall reign, the world shall know the power of the purebloods." He paused dramatically as there were several nods and cheers. "Together we shall unite in our rightful place. It is on your shoulders now, you shall share this with the rest of the Death Eaters to purge the world of the filth known as muggles and mudbloods a like." He broke out of his spot at the head and walked towards each of the boys. He began to pace in front of them. Each of them held out their arms, ready to be brand. "From now on, you shall serve me. When I call you shall come to my aid. Forever you are in my service as one pledged to me, the Dark Lord." He said loudly as he held his wand in the air. Everything fell dead silent. He turned to Draco first, as a wind blew strongly through the air. Cloaked moved but that was the only sound to be heard as the Dark Lord pointed his wand harshly into Draco's arm.

Crystal watched in horror as the color drained from his face. Pain like he has never experienced ran through him. He fell slowly to his knees bowing and clutching his arm in pain as the skull with the snake slithering out began to form on his arm. Crystal wanted nothing more than to run towards Draco, to hold him tightly, but she couldn't. Her arm was being held tightly. She looked up to see Professor Snape holding her as if saying, not now child. She nodded softly as tears trickled down her face.

Everything around her seemed to blur. She was no longer standing in the dark garden. She couldn't see the other boys get branded. No she was seeing something else. Something much more peaceful as her eyes drifted shut.

"_Crystal, you can't keep running away from me." Draco pleaded as she turned her back to him. They were in the Nott garden. He had been visiting her every day since she got back from America, but she never seemed to care. She had this cold façade that was staying, or so it seemed. Ever since the ball, Draco had felt heart broken. He just wanted his best friend back. He was afraid that if this kept up she would probably end up being in Gryffindor and not Slyhterin. That thought alone scared him. How could he express his feelings then? They'd be so far apart within the castle. She could avoid him so much easier there._

"_I'm not running." She scowled and turned around glaring at him. "I'm just merely saving you some trouble." _

"_You are causing me trouble. You come back and you won't even look at me." Draco cried out as he gestured his arms in the air._

"_I'm looking at you now." She pointed out and crossed her arms. She wasn't amused. They've had this conversation several times already. She didn't want to have it again. Maybe she was being stubborn, but she didn't care. He was upsetting her._

"_You won't look me in my eyes." Draco grabbed her arm and pulled her close. "Please, just look me in the eyes and tell me it will be like it was when we were kids." He said softly as he pulled some hair out of her eyes._

"_Draco it won't be the same. We are older, things change. We are no longer the little boy and girl who would hold each other's hands. I'm not going to follow you everywhere like a lost pixie." She pushed his hand off and sighed. _

"_I'm not asking for that! I just…I just want your friendship." He pleaded._

"_You need to earn that." Crystal threw one last glare and stalked off. _

She woke up screaming. It took her a moment to figure out she was in her room. She steadied her breathing and closed her eyes holding her blanket tight. She was at the Death Eaters meeting and now she was here in her bed. She had to have passed out. But what about Draco? Was he okay? She quickly shot up and ran for the door, before she could even open it the door opened. Draco walked in looking exhausted, worried, and in pain.

"You screamed, are you alright?" he asked softly as he closed the door behind him.

Crystal stared at him before she threw her arms around him. "You've earned it. I want to be your friend." She said softly as she held on, not wanting to let go. She knew in her heart that they could be friends and maybe, just maybe in the future they could be more. She didn't want to rush it. She was going to play by her rules and no one else's.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay so it wasn't that much longer, but it was. I hope you enjoyed it anyways, I did. **


	6. Chapter 6: Imperfections

**Chapter 6: Perfect only in her imperfections. **

**A/N: This would have been out sooner but I needed my copy of Half Blood Prince. Just saying! Anyways, thanks for the wonderful reviews. Keep it up, it helps me know if you like where the story is going or not.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Summer went by a lot quicker than Crystal would have imagined. She was so busy all the time making appearances in public with Draco trying to promote the Malfoy name and prove that she really did love him. The rumors and gossip still carried in the Daily Prophet that she was being cursed or under a powerful love potion. There was even an investigation to see if Sir Nott was abusing her. The public seemed love Crystal and wanted to know why such a sweet girl who fought with Harry Potter, would be with an evil family such as the Malfoy's. Though after a while word got out that her father could possibly be a Death Eater as well. She tried to ignore it all. It wasn't hard to do in-between all the balls and social events she went to. But it was tiring to say the least. Her father and Voldemort included were thrilled though when the OWL's came and they discovered she achieved a total of eight O's and one E. They ended up throwing a ball just for her over that, though she suspected it was another public stunt.<p>

As for her and Draco, her memory didn't improve any. She would get in these moods though where she would seem to be nice to Draco then other days she would hate him and want nothing to do with him. He wasn't much better though. He would want her one day and then the next day he decided he wasn't good enough for her. There was always this back and forth motion with each other. And they never fell on the same day, so they were always avoiding or hating each other at opposite times. It really did give of a love potion relationship. It made it hard to keep it up. Draco suspects if she hadn't of been getting letters in secret from her friends she wouldn't have had these mood swings. But who knows?

Crystal was happy to be on the train. When she arrived with Draco, Mrs. Malfoy, her father, and Theodore, she had spotted the Weasleys and wanted nothing to run and say hi to them, but she knew better. She stayed by Draco's side and pretended they were scum. She even was so good as to sit in the compartment with Draco. She wasn't enjoying it though. He was bragging and being nothing like he was all summer. Not only that Pansy was all over him. She didn't even bother stopping the girl. She just let it happen and stared out the train window as if nothing important was happening. All she wanted to do was escape and find her Gryffindor friends, but she was being good. She had through embarrassed Draco and Theodore and if that word got home, she'd be happy. It became even more unbearable when Blaise left to go to Slughorn's 'club'. Over the summer Crystal seemed to remember how much fun Blaise was, so when he left she grew increasingly bored and curled up on the window sill within the compartment and stared out the window with a bored look etched upon her face. Eventually she fell asleep, but was woken with a start.

"So, Blaise," Draco asked, "what did Slughorn want?" Crystal lifted her head up to see Blaise who just walked in looking irritated at Goyle. Something must have happened she thought, but she shrugged it off and gave him a warm smile which he returned.

"Just trying to make up to well-connected people," Blaise shrugged, but kept a scowl on his face aimed at Goyle. "Not that he managed to find many."

"Who else had he invited?" Draco question as Pansy pulled him closer to her. Crystal just rolled her eyes and got off the window sill to sit next to Blaise, noticing Draco didn't say anything. He was obviously in one of his, I don't want to be around Crystal moods.

"McLaggen from Gryffindor," said Blaise, not looking impressed as he spoke.

"Oh yeah, his uncle's big in the ministry," Draco said knowing full well whose families were and weren't big in the ministry. After all at one point his dad was big in the ministry as well. Before his father fell, thanks to Potter.

Crystal laughed, noticing at once that all heads turned to her. "What? The guys a complete moron, not even fit to be a Gryffindor."

Blaise ignored her and carried on "—someone else called Belby from Ravenclaw—"

"Not him, he's a prat!" Pansy said loudly. Clearly she did not enjoy Belby whoever that was.

"—and Longbottom, Potter, and that Wealey girl," Blaise finished looking at Crystal as he finished. He watched as she raised an eyebrow but didn't say much.

"He invited Longbottom?" Draco said in disbelief as he pushed away Pansy's affectionate arm away.

Blaise practically rolled his eyes, "I'd assume so, seeing as Longbottom was there." He said in differently.

"What's Longbottom got to interest Slughorn?" Draco carried on as he laid down resting his head on Pansy's lap.

Blaise just shrugged, but Crystal who was annoyed by Draco's behavior answered for him. "Neville has more than you think. He was at the Ministry with Harry after all. Besides his parents were big Auror's back in the day."

"Oh please he can barely walk, let along pass a grade." Draco said in anger. He wasn't sure what got him so mad, maybe it was the way she defended Longbottom. He wasn't sure, he thought he should be happy for her, but he wasn't.

"He's a lot smarter than you will ever be." Crystal growled, "A lot braver too." She muttered under her breath.

But Draco ignored her. "Potter, precious Potter obviously he wanted a look at 'the chosen one," Draco sneered. "But that Weasley girl! What's so special about her?" He asked looking away from Crystal when he said it and at Blaise instead.

Pansy answered instead. She stared right at Draco as she brushed his hair, "A lot of boys like her." She said as she studied him waiting for him to react as to admit he likes her, even if he had Crystal. "Even you think she's great looking, don't you, Blaise? And we all know how hard _you _are to please!" Pansy turned her attention to Blaise with an irritated look laced upon her lips.

"I wouldn't touch a filthy little blood traitor like her whatever she looked like." Blaise snapped coldly as Pansy looked pleased with herself. But Crystal was far from pleased. She stood up at once at glared at the people before her.

"Then I guess you would _all _would be much happier if I left." She glared at everyone. Pansy looked thoroughly pleased with herself, but quickly her face changed into a scowl as Draco sat up. He was going to sit her back down but Blaise beat him to it.

"Crissy, sweetheart we all know you are not a traitor." Blaise patted her leg soothingly.

Theodore, who had been very quiet up until this point spoke up, "He's right, you are no blood traitor, you are the finest pureblood her."

Crystal snorted back a laugh. "Fine," She said falling back into her bored stupor and before she knew it she was out of the conversation and asleep on Blaise shoulder. She was waiting for her chance to escape the clutches of her so called Slytherin friends, but she knew that wouldn't happen till they at least got to the school. So, she rested her eyes easily without a care. When she woke up, she could have sworn she saw a shoe up by the trunks, but she wasn't sure. She shrugged it off and quickly got her robes on, knowing her freedom was that much closer. She was relieved when Draco said he wanted everyone to go ahead of them because that gave her the chance to escape. She discretely slipped into the crowd and somehow ended up with some fourth year Ravenclaw boys. They were actually really friendly and one of them was a pureblood she met during the summer. None of them were pureblood freaks or supporters of Voldemort, so it was nice for a change. It was to the point that she almost forgot what a real conversation was like without fear and without Voldermot being the center of attention.

The boys were a little sad that she had to go, but the understood. They had heard all about her in the Daily Prophet and could see why she wanted to escape to the Gryffindor table at once. They knew she didn't want to get dragged into the Slyhterin table, especially after the pleasant conversation they had all just shared. She promised to keep in touch, they were rather sweet boys.

Smiling she quickly spotted Ron's red hair among the crowd of Gryffindor's heading over to the great hall, "Oi, Ronald, Hermione!" She called out and waved to them. They stopped walking at once and turned towards her. It was then she noticed Harry was missing from the group. She raised an eyebrow curiously but quickly went into Hermione's arms.

"Crystal! Hope you had a great summer? I read all about in the Daily Prophet." Hermione muttered as she ushered them to a spot at the Gryffindor table. "You didn't look happy at all."

"Yeah, well…if you could imagine how quick I was to get away. Gave the boys the slip," Crystal frowned. "Speaking of giving the slip, where's the Chosen One?"

Ron frowned, "He disappeared after Slughorn's thing, according to Ginny."

"Why—" She cut herself off she could hear Draco cracking jokes far away over at the Slytherin table. Several of them wooped and cheered at his re-telling of a tale. Her stomach lurched. "I hope to god it didn't involve that scum." She glared as Pansy wrapped her arms around Draco's, she felt that was rather careless within the school, but she said nothing. It was Draco's fault not hers.

"He's become a little obsessed with him," Hermione leaned in close. "We saw him at Borgin and Burkes, needless to say Harry will probably be asking you what is going on with him."

"I wasn't with them that day I will have you know." Crystal said flatly, guessing in her mind where this was going.

"But you know, I mean you were around Malfoy all summer." Ron pointed out, but Crystal shook her head.

"Ron, I wasn't allowed anywhere _near _the meetings. My time was spent recovering my memory." Crystal grabbed her forehead and sighed.

"Did you get anywhere with that? I mean do you remember anything about Malfoy?" Hermione frowned with concern, but Crystal didn't get to answer.

The hall had just finished getting filled and the first years were being ushered in. They all waited in silence watching and clapping at the right moment as each Student got sorted. Crystal was waiting for the food to begin though. It had been a long day and well the sorting was fun, after a couple of students it grew boring. She cheered enthusiastically as the last student was sorted, even if they were sorted into Slyhterin, and waited for Dumbledore to say a couple more words before their food appeared.

"Sorry Hermione," Crystal smiled as she severed herself some food. "As I was about to say, no I didn't remember a darn thing. Which is a shame, I mean daddy paid big money to have healers following my every move."

"Faff muft haff got—" Ron started to say with a mouthful, but Crystal cut him off.

"You are being extremely rude, swallow." Crystal said calmly.

Hermione shook her head, "I've been saying that for years." She rolled her eyes and went back to her dinner, which she was hardly touching. She looked extremely concern and kept scanning the Gryffindor table for any sign of Harry no doubt.

Ron blushed slightly and swallowed his food. "That must have gotten old." He said repeated what he was saying with a mouthful of food.

Crystal wanted to respond, but Ginny slid in close by moving over from her spot over by Dean Thomas. "Where's Harry?" She asked, causing Hermione and Crystal to stare towards the doors frowning.

"I wish we knew." Hermione bit her lip nervously and went back to moving her food around on her plate.

"I really hope I'm wrong, Draco's acting a bit more pompous than usual." Crystal shook her head hoping and praying with all her heart that he had nothing to do with it.

"You would know being his fiancé and all. Though he looks awful cozy with Parkinson," Ginny pointed out as he acted something out once more and Pansy gave her high pitch squeal.

"Off day, he can't decide whether he loves me or hates me." Crystal said off handly. Her mind was still on Harry. Her problems felt trivial. "I just hope Harry shows up soon."

"Me too," Hermione and Ginny nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure he's fine. He can take care of himself." Ron said before diving back into his food. Hermione, Ginny, and Crystal all threw him nasty glares, all thinking how he was being a typical male.

"Right," Crystal said shaking her head. "I don't doubt that he can, but Malfoy's smirk is sickening right now."

"Malfoy? You usually call him Draco." Ginny grinned noticing right away. "I'm guessing you still don't remember much."

"Not a darn thing and even if I do I may be tempted to pretend I don't." Crystal grinned. "And if you don't mind I think I might flirt with the 'Chosen One'. You know cause some drama." She winked at Ginny.

"Of course," Ginny understood completely. Anything to cause that slimy git misery, especially after what Crystal went through this summer was fine by her. Seeing her in all the papers with that sad smile on her face hurt so much. Crystal was someone Ginny looked up too. A friend, someone Ginny could rely on…and seeing her like that in the Daily Prophet was heart breaking.

Crystal stayed true to her word though. The first day of classes she made sure to hang on Harry and Neville any time she could. That was easy to do seeing as the classes were condensed now and she saw a lot more of Draco than she did last year. So by Thursday Draco's anger was rising with her. He was wondering if she was doing this on purpose or not. He went to go ask her at dinner, but he found he was intimated the minute she walked in holding onto Harry's arm with a smile on her face. A true smile, one she had not given him since she lost her memories. He shrunk down at once and let her carry on with her happiness, but attempted to get close to the conversation. Why was it just Harry and Crystal? What was going on?

Crystal was smiling, Harry and her were having a lovely conversation about that day's lesson. But she quickly changed the subject once she saw how closely Draco was listening.

"Harry," She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "We have a show to put on."

"What?" Harry looked around then it clicked in his head. "Oh right," he laughed softly. He had grown accustomed to her little games. And he understood completely why she did it. She was furious and he felt she had every right to be. He saw how hard she was trying to make it work but Draco was just blowing her off like she was dragon dung.

"If you would like, I could help you with your Charms homework." Crystal said loudly enough as she rested a gentle hand on Harry's arm.

"I think we could do that." He smiled warmly. "Although, it would be easier to do if we didn't have Hermione scolding us all the time," He threw in for good measure.

"Harry," Crystal chided in a teasing manner.

"What? I was just thinking we could work on it in the library. What were you thinking?" Harry raised an eyebrow and laughed.

She took the opportunity to cover her face with her hands in an embarrassed manner. She could tell now that it wasn't just Draco listening in it was Theodore, and possibly Blaise as well. She wondered if Harry knew as well because he was fueling the fire better than she could imagine. "Nothing," She muttered faking shyness.

"Harry, what did you do? Stop picking on Crystal so much." Hermione said loudly as she took a seat next to her at the table. Her and Ron had been a bit late to dinner since Hermione wanted to quick grab a book from the library, Ron said he'd come with her for some reason, which left Harry and Crystal to go to dinner by themselves.

"Sorry," Harry grinned, "She's just easy to pick on. Did you find the book you needed Hermione?"

"She took bloody long enough, I'm starving." Ron grumbled as he took his seat at the Gryffindor table as well.

"No one said you had to come, Ron." Hermione glared as she proudly pulled out her book. "Yes, I found it. Crystal you might find this helpful too. I remember reading it in fourth year, it has some helpful hints on non-verbal spells."

"Perfect, why don't read that tonight before bed?" Crystal suggested. She was not enjoying the non-verbal spells. She wasn't terrible at it, it's just she wasn't the best and that bothered her. Of course Hermione was probably in the same boat, yes they were both the top in their class they just wanted to be perfect. School meant everything to the two of them. That's why they got along so well.

"That won't be necessary." A sharp cold voice drawled behind them and before she knew it Crystal was gasping in pain as a cold hand grabbed her shoulder. "Crystal, we need to talk." All heads turned to Draco who looked just livid at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. His eyes were not on Crystal as he spoke, but digging daggers at the trio. He looked murderous almost.

"I do not wish to talk to you. Especially because you are hurting me, Malfoy," Crystal spat as she threw his hand off of her.

He was taken aback for a moment, but quickly gained his composure. "Please, Crystal, come with me." He asked in a much nicer tone.

Crystal started chewing on her lip contemplating. She could easily go with him. She knew she should, but she felt no need too. His behavior ever since school started had been thoroughly rotten. And she knew why too. He was under a lot of stress. It was that mission from the Dark Lord. He couldn't fail. He didn't have a choice, but now he was being even more distant to her than he had been all summer. Maybe she should give him a chance. He deserves that much after all he's been through.

She sent a fleeting look to her friends before she took Draco's hand and almost out of habit forced that fake smile upon her lips. She didn't drop her smile until they were well away from the bustle of the great hall. She wanted everyone to see that they were alright, she had already received a letter from Voldemort saying that their relationship should not change now that they are in school. She had an inkling feeling that he knew they weren't keeping anything up. And she figured that wouldn't settle with him well, whether or not she remembers Draco or not.

Crystal dragged Draco along all the way till they reached their classroom. The one they always came too. When she got there, she finally let go of his hand. She studied him closely, noticing the bags underneath his eyes and the distress that seemed to shape his whole figure. He looked a little worse for wear, but he still looked like his normal self. His handsome body was still filled with muscles, though they were tense, they were still handsome. His jaw was still pointed, but as of right now it was clenched in anger. His eyes, duller than she remembered, where filled with anger, she knew she was in trouble.

"Draco," She started but didn't know where to go from there.

He softened a bit at the sound of his name. He couldn't remember the last time he heard her say Draco and not Malfoy. He let a weak smile trace his lips before he let his lips fall somber. "We need to stop this, we are destroying each other." Draco said with a sigh as he reached out to grab Crystal's arm, but she wouldn't let him. She inched away and took a seat on a nearby desk.

"I'm not destroying anything." Crystal pointed out defensively. "The minute we got on the train you cozied up with Pansy. I don't want you to explain why, it's really none of my business, but in case you forgot you have two missions to complete. One of them is proving to the public that you and are together."

Draco opened and closed his mouth several times looking for the right words, but nothing sound right in his head. He knew that she was right. He had been so focused on his other mission he abandoned her and sought out Pansy for her affection. But could Crystal honestly blame him? It hasn't been easy on him. Crystal barely remembers him, Pansy remembers him and adores him. "Crystal, I'm truly sorry." He admitted, but it didn't look like it was any use. Crystal was frowning.

"You don't need to say sorry too me. I think you should be saying sorry to yourself, Draco." Crystal reached out and placed his hand inside of hers. "I've been trying all summer to remember you. I really have been. So I guess all I ask for you is to try as well, maybe just be patient with me. I'll come around eventually."

He gave her hand a squeeze, "I know you will too. I just—" He stopped himself. He really didn't know what he wanted to say. His mind felt so jumbled up. "Can you please stop flirting with Potter so much? I could almost blow up the whole castle when you do."

"I'd like to see you try." Crystal smirked. "But I think I can try to not flirt with him so much. But Hermione on the other han—"

"Don't even tease about that." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Who said I was teasing?" Crystal raised a playful eyebrow.

Draco didn't respond, instead he pulled her off the desk and straight into his arms. "I've missed you," He said softly.

"I've always been right here." She said in return, with a smile.

He leaned forward and planted a tiny kiss on the top of her head. "And don't you ever think about leaving me." He pulled away and made sure to look her straight in her eyes. His grey eyes locked with her dark eyes. They held each other like that for a moment before Crystal finally spoke.

"I don't think you have to worry about me too much." She squeezed his hand and let go of him. "I'm going to go to the common room, is that alright?" She asked gingerly.

"As long as it's the common room and not Potter's bed," Draco scolded as he pointed a finger at her.

"I can't promise anything like that. He's the Chosen One! Who would turn down anything from him?" Crystal question as she hugged herself acting as if she was so in love with Harry.

Draco tried to laugh, he knew it was a joke but he couldn't take anything she says about him as a joke. "Crystal," He chided.

"Right, we have a show to put on. I reckon you can walk me close to the Gryffindor tower. We had a little lovers spat, nothing major." She said quickly and grabbed his hand. "Come along now." She sighed, right back to how they were. Acting.

If Draco admired anything about her it was her acting. She fell right into place and he acted normal. They made sure to keep the conversation light, they wanted all to see they were happy again. He smiled and dared to be bold, he took her right near the Gryffindor tower. Several Gryffindor's were around the area chatting in different corridors, snogging, and just mingling around in general. Eyes fell upon them, but that's what Crystal wanted. She made sure to stop in an open area to say goodbye to Draco. He didn't waste and time, he pulled her close to him and planted a kiss on her forehead. Crystal was shocked at the gesture. Something told her at school this wasn't normal for them. She wishes she remembered what they were like last year, because this moment, this moment in his arms felt so right and so perfect she couldn't ask for anything else.

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><p><strong>AN: Since it was a little shorter and there was a wait, I posted a quick photoshop illustration I did of Draco and Crystal in my profile of the scene with them in the hallway. That was terrible wording but you get the idea. Go ahead and check it out, a little christmas present to you readers :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Picture Perfect

**Chapter 7: Picture perfect memories**

**A/N:This is long over due...that is all. My apologies.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>"<em>Blaise, that's not the right tune." Crystal rolled her eyes. The bloody prat was doing this on purpose. He didn't want to leave and their lesson wouldn't end till they got the song right. "It's AhhHhHhHHH not AHHHhhHhhHHH," She sang trying to prove her point. But Blaise barely cared. He grinned broadly at her.<em>

"_Do you have a point?" He teased, infuriating her more._

_Crystal glared intently at him, but it did no good. "No, no I suppose I don't." She grumbled and stroked the keys on the piano once more. Together they sang, not in harmony as Crystal wanted, but separate. Blaise was a total goof off and didn't care. He was having too much fun watching Crystal put on her best sneer. _

_This banter went on for about another hour until Draco waltz in, apparently done with his masterpiece painting. "You two are still at it? The pureblood ball is tomorrow and you still don't have it down?" Only he could really put Blaise in his place. _

_Blaise smirked, "Play the piano once more Crystal, let's show this bloody git what we know." He turned the piano booklet back to the start and waited._

"_Fine," Crystal growled in a mere whisper, but listened to Blaise anyways. She didn't really have a choice. That and she knew if she did listen to Blaise, this time he would sing it right._

_She was right. He was perfect this time around. Both of them were. The annual pureblood ball would be a success, even if it was just for the parents to show off their wonderful children. Crystal and Blaise finished in perfect harmony, both were grinning. _

"_No doubt we will be the most priced tomorrow." Blaise held up a hand for Crystal to high five, but she frowned. She was only ten years old and wasn't started Hogwarts this year. Theodore, Draco, and Blaise were all starting Hogwarts this fall. They were all wanted candidates for possible marriage arrangements. She was just Crystal Nott, the unknown child. _

_Draco glared sharply at Blaise before pulling Crystal off the bench. "Crystal, come with me. The house elves made some pastries that are to die for." He threw once last glare at Blaise and pulled her out of the room._

_Excitement filled her. She loved walking with Draco anywhere. He made her so happy and carefree. She couldn't explain it, but he did. He knew everything about her and somehow that made her feel relieved. He knew of her situation. How her dad planned on sending her away and how she probably wouldn't marry any pureblood they knew. She wasn't going to Hogwarts, this ball wasn't meant for her. It wouldn't help her in the long run, but she was being strong to at least help Blaise get a chance at glory. _

_Knowing all this Draco just wanted her happy. He warned the house elves he was coming with her. He head straight for the kitchen where one house elf was already waiting for her. _

"_Miss Nott, what a pleasure!" The little thing sweaked and held up a beautiful cupcake._

_She took it gratefully and patted the house elf on the head, ignoring Draco's sneer. "Thank you…" She paused and blushed a little. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name."_

"_Trinket, Miss!" The house elf said happily before running off, feeling so much gratitude for how kind the misses was. _

"_What a cute house elf." Crystal bemused, but frowned noticing Draco's look of disgust. "Right, sorry…I didn't mean that. I take it back." She said quickly and took a bite of the cupcake. She couldn't help but melt at house delicious it was._

_Draco took the opportunity of her silence to speak to her. "Crystal," He smiled warmly, she nodded politely in response. She was happily nibbling on the cupcake. "You're extremely nice, you know that right?" He said softly._

"_Of course I am." She laughed lightly. "But why are you telling this to me?" She questioned after a moment of taking in what he said._

"_You'd honestly be a Hufflepuff if you were more modest." Draco rolled his eyes in a teasing manner._

"_Yes, I know definitely not Slytherin material." Crystal crossed her arms, stifling another laugh._

"_Hmm, yeah," Draco paused dramatically, while he tapped his nose pretending to think deeply. "And we both know you aren't smart enough to be a Ravenclaw." He laughed earning himself a harsh rape upon the head from Crystal. "That only leaves Gryffindor."_

"_Good thing I am a disgrace already, otherwise dad might truly shun me." She waved dismissively and took another bite from her cupcake. She chewed silently as the two stared at each other. "I just don't want to screw Blaise up. He choice to do the duet, it's the least I could do for him."_

"_He chose it because he works the best with you." Draco frowned slightly at the thought, feeling a small twinge of jealousy sneak up. "He lacks the will power to be a true pureblood."_

"_Then we just have to make sure he gets a strong pureblooded wife." Crystal smirked. "Though she better be really high up there, that boy has the highest standards of anyone I know."_

_Draco laughed in agreement. "Yeah, you are the only girl he isn't snobbish too."_

"_A bit of competition I see." Crystal nudged Draco lightly, whose face fell into a scowl._

"_Hardly, we both know I am the purest of the pure." He huffed his chest out and spoke in the cockiest manner ever._

"_Next to me of course," She threw right back at them, even if they both knew there was a high possibility that wasn't true. She could have been a half-blood for all they knew._

"_Technically Theodore comes before you." Draco corrected, earning another slap from Crystal._

"_Technically he doesn't, because I'm the purest female. And Theodore's the second purest male, since you come first." She corrected._

"_Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling." Draco poked her nose, turned his heel, and left._

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><p>Crystal woke up from her dream with a start. Hermione, in the bed next to her was making quite the raucous. Apparently she couldn't find her essay that was due in Defense Against the Dark Arts, for Snape today. Crystal didn't pay any attention though. She was still focusing on the slipping fragments of her dream. Images danced across her eyelids. She reminded that sweet harmonious melody her and Blaise sang. It brought a smile to her face, but what brought an even broader smile was remembering the conversation her and Draco had. He said she would be in Gryffindor if she ever came to Hogwarts and here she was, sharing a room with some of the best Witches she has ever known.<p>

Hermione gave an exasperated sigh and turned to Crystal, "Have you seen it anywhere?" She questioned gingerly noticing that Crystal had just woken up.

"Hermione," She said softly ignoring her friends troubles for one selfish moment. "I just remembered something."

Hermione rolled her eyes in irritation. "That's great, but if you excuse me I have to find this essay. I know I put it right here!" She pointed to her bedside with a scowl.

"No, Hermione," Crystal shook her head, not perturbed by her friends rudeness. "I mean, I remembered something about Malfoy." She said tenderly as her light blue eyes locked with her friends.

"Oh," Hermione dropped the papers she was holding as her mouth formed an 'o'. She quickly bustled over to her friends bedside and grabbed her hand gently. "Was it a happy memory?" She asked almost at once.

"Yes," She nodded excitedly. "I remembered when I was ten, right around the time he got his acceptance letter for Hogwarts."

"Crystal, that's great." Hermione smiled warmly and she meant it. She knew how important this was to Crystal and she knew it was even more important because of the fact that Crystal was on the dark side for a reason. She wanted to protect who ever she could. The girls heart was bigger than anyone else she knew. And for that Crystal had Hermione's great respect. "Why don't you go down to breakfast, go see him." She encouraged.

"What about your essay?" Crystal couldn't shake the smile off her face, though she was concerned for her friend.

"I bet I left it in my potions book." Hermione waved her hand dismissively and quickly shooed her friend up to get ready for the day.

"Which, Ron has." Crystal nodded in acknowledgement. One last hand squeeze to her best friend and Crystal dashed around getting ready at top speed. She still wanted to look presentable, but she wanted to get down there fast enough. She didn't want this memory to fade her. It wouldn't be fair to Draco if another one slipped by her, like she knew so many had.

She ran all the way down to the great hall, feeling out of shape as she made it to the great doors, she grasped her chest and caught her breath for a moment. After she straightened out her Gryffindor tie, she waltz right in towards the Slytherin table and knew exactly what to say.

Crystal's eyes focused, ignoring the strange glances the Slytherin's were throwing her and headed towards the front of the table. She had spotted Draco's platinum hair almost at once, but she didn't head for Draco. She headed straight for Blaise with a grin lacing upon her lips.

Her heels stopped clanking on the floor and everyone peered up at her in curiosity. She didn't say anything at first. She smiled down on Blaise, before she bleated out the start of the song they sang for the first and only time many years ago at the pureblood ball. Blaise couldn't help but smirk and stand up to join her. The two intertwined hands and in perfect harmony sang the familiar notes. Each time the attempted to outshine one another and each time it got fiercer and fiercer. They ignored the gawking they were receiving from the whole hall and carried on. Louder and louder they got, until their voices faded at the end of the song. The great hall began clapping at once. Everyone was amazed at their display of vocals and the strange spectacle at breakfast, but no one was more amazed then Draco. He knew for a fact she didn't remember that memory, because they tried to recreate it this summer. Blaise would cooperate though, earning him a round of torture.

Blaise and Crystal took a grand bow together, before Crystal sat down across from Draco. Their eyes locked at once, but it was Crystal who spoke first. "Yes, I know defiantly not Slytherin material." She let a deflated sigh escape from her lips.

Draco watched her carefully, a sad smile crossed his lips. She was remembering. It was slow, but she was remembering. The thought of her suffering still tugged at his mind but she was getting better. He didn't say anything. He couldn't express any words right now. He was happy because she seemed too happy she remembered. And she displayed it in the most perfect manner. Blaise and Crystal hadn't dared to sing like that in ages. It was a great refresher of how powerful the two could be together.

"Draco mate, I don't think I'll let Crystal go. We are too perfect together." Blaise smirked as he put his arm around Crystal who was chewing on a piece of bacon, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hardly," She couldn't wipe the grin off of her face, even if she was trying to tease and be serious. "You better use a cleansing spell after touching me, the blood traitor."

"Maybe I will just have to drag you with me and we can cleanse the muggle style." Blaise winked, making Crystal blush at once and fury raise up in Draco.

"Knock it off." He commanded to Blaise, who was still laughing.

"I'll knock her of—" Blaise started but Crystal had already grabbed another piece of bacon and shoved it in Blaise's mouth.

"You don't knock it off and I'll find a real muggle for you 'cleanse', then you can tell me how filthy you feel." Crystal growled, sick of his sexual jokes. She knew better though. He was ALWAYS that way. That's probably why she gravitated towards Draco more in their childhood, or that's how she felt right now.

"I can't decide if it's worse that you'd give me a muggle or a mudblood." Blaise said in a dark serious voice. This caused several purebloods around them to eye up the conversation.

"Both would be horrid." Theodore supplied, ignoring his sisters painfully loud eye roll.

"Yes, but what would be _worse._ Personally I think a muggle, at least a mudblood has some magic in them." Blaise stroked his chin hairs, which he decided to grow out as soon as school started. He said it made him look smarter, Crystal thought it made him look like a troll.

"A muggle would be worse, why we are even having this conversation is beyond me." Draco snapped, annoyed that the conversation was pulled away from Crystal's resurfaced memory. But if Draco was annoyed, he wasn't as annoyed as Crystal.

"I better leave then, seeing as I just slept with a mudblood." She scowled, but quickly changed her face to throw a wink randomly at the Gryffindor table.

Theodore spit out his pumpkin juice, landing it on Blaise who glared rightfully so at him. "Excuse me?" Theodore questioned.

"You are excused." Crystal said lightly with a tiny nod of her head to her brother. "But in all honestly, Hermione and I are in love." She giggled lightly and hugged herself.

"Don't joke about Granger." Draco said quickly, pulling up the conversation they had the other night.

"Oh?" Crystal titled her head innocently. "I'm already shunned from the family." She pointed to her Gryffindor emblem on her chest. "So, I figured sleeping with a mudblood was nothing."

There was a collective snort of laughter all around the table. Everyone knew she was joking and in good spirits. It felt different to have Crystal at the table. It was amazing how far she could change the mood around with a couple words. It was a gift they all seemed to love and relay on at times. Draco especially, because as he found out the days were getting harder, his school grades were slipping, and his life in general was falling under pressure. He had a whole year. That should be easy right? Wrong. Everything he seemed to do wasn't good enough. Everything was becoming a failure. The only thing that wasn't a failure was his mission with Crystal. She made it easier by being her carefree self, but that could only get him so far. That wouldn't help him with his mission. That wouldn't save his mother and father. Stupid Potter landing his father in jail…how could Crystal honestly be friends with him? Then again she was there with him, it was partially her fault too. No, he couldn't think like that. He loved her. None of this was her fault, she didn't even have her memories.

The week wore on and the homework grew increasingly hard. Crystal was spending most of her time with her nose in the book. Usually she would sit in the common room next to Hermione, other times in the dorm by herself. Now and then she would attempt to hang out with Draco, but he was never there. He was always busy doing other things, which was code word for 'working on his _other _mission'. That didn't make Crystal feel any better. She understood his mission was important, but it was important for them to see each other too, right? She didn't know though. Her thoughts were so muddled. She couldn't remember anything else about Draco, so all she had is what she knew. And right now, he was less than pleasant. He kept getting detentions for not turning in his homework. Crystal wanted to help him, she really did. But not being a Slytherin made that really hard to do. She couldn't get a hold of him and he'd often only show up for dinner, if that. And she really didn't want to bother him in the only meal he consumed.

So instead she sat with Neville, hoping that maybe he would show up for dinner tonight. But she doubted that. Her eyes kept glancing at the Slyhterin table, but to no avail. She didn't seem him anywhere.

"He's not there so stop glancing." Neville let out a sigh. He could barely understand her need to see if he was there or not. She forgot her memories on him, why would she need to see him? It was bad enough she was betrothed to him…

"I know," Crystal sighed and pushed her food around on her plate. "Nevs, it bothers you doesn't it?" She looked away from her plate into her best friends eyes.

"What do you mean?" He raised an eyebrow looking at her in confusion.

"I mean…that I am actually attempting to make this work with Malfoy." Crystal couldn't look at her best friend any longer. He was making her feel guilty. But that meant a lot to her. It was like he was maturing. He had really changed so much after the Department of Mysterious incident.

"No, I don't like it at all." He said sternly. "But you know, that's not for me to decide. It's your life, Crystal."

"Nevs," Crystal reached out and grabbed his hand. "You know your opinion matters to me. So spit it out."

Neville looked over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. He peered around for Nott or Zabini, he didn't want them to listen. He saw them close by and thought it was best to leave. He gave Crystal one look before he let go of her hand and turned out of the great hall. He glanced back to see if Crystal was following, she was but at a slow pace. She kept eyeing the Slytherin table. Her eyes traced over at her brother who was watching with a raised eyebrow. Crystal ignored him with a slight smirk and followed after Neville, who lead her all the way up to the Gryffindor common room. But that wasn't far enough for him. He didn't want to be over heard, so he pulled her all the way up to his empty dorm.

Once the door was shut tightly and Crystal had settled herself on his bed, Neville finally spoke. "Crissy," He smiled as he took a seat next to her. "I…I don't like it. You have no freedom with your family. You should be able to choose who you love. They shouldn't decide for you."

"We live in two different worlds." Crystal muttered with her head hung low.

Neville frowned and grabbed her chin, gently pulling it towards him so he could look into her eyes. "But you don't have too. You know I'm right."

Crystal shook her head, "I can't back out now." She cried out. "It's too late. I should have left the minute I lost my memories about Malfoy. You know when I woke up he was in the room waiting for me and I hexed him. How awful must he feel? What torture is he going through right now? He loves me a lot, I can't just leave him."

"The torture he is going through? What about what you went through?" Neville let go of her face and grabbed onto her hands instead. "I admire the fact that you are willing to stay by his side, but what do _you _want. Can you tell me for once in your life what you want?"

"That's too selfish." Crystal muttered.

"It's not selfish! You have the biggest heart out of anyone I know. Tell me, what do you want?" He demanded with intensity.

"I…" She looked up as tears forced the way to the corners of her eyes. Crystal let out a sigh of frustration. She didn't know what she wanted. She's never really given it a thought. She always just did was she was told. The only time she didn't was when she went to the Ministry of Magic. Or just her befriending the Gryffindor's…and just knowing that upset her father gave her happiness. It felt exhilarating. But she couldn't leave Draco even if she didn't remember him. If she left him, he would get punished. She didn't want that resting on her mind.

Crystal stared at Neville not really sure what to say. After several tense moments she snapped. The tears began to pour from her eyes. She felt awful. The only thing she knew how to do was run. She quickly pushed passed Neville and ran from the dorm. She didn't stop running until she made it to the Slytherin common room. She waited there, hoping and praying someone would come by. Someone had too, she looked like a disgrace right now sobbing outside of the common room.

She couldn't wait out there much longer. Her heart began to feel heavier and heavier with each student she saw enter into the Slytherin common room. She hated them all. They were all sucked into this life. They all did as they were told, she wanted to be different. How could she do that though? There was no way possible. Crystal was set in her fate and she knew it. There was no way to back out now.

Heaving a loud sigh, she left the entrance to the Slytherin common room and found herself wondering around the castle deep in thought. She barely noticed where she was going till she walked into someone.

"Oh, I'm ter—" The person started in apology, but his eyes caught who he had knocked over. "Nott? Is that you?" The boy asked excitedly as he held out a hand to her.

"Bradley?" Crystal looked up in confusion as she took in the Ravenclaw before her. The boy smiled happily, it was the very same boy she rode to Hogwarts with at the start of the year. She'd recognize that smile anywhere. It was perfect, nearly everything about him was perfect. His beautiful black hair, smooth face, and muscles that were carved out from being a Ravenclaw Chaser, that was Christopher Bradley. "How have you been?"

He held out his hand to help her up. "Never mind about me, what's with you? You look upset." He commented as he took in her usual beautiful face. Right now it seemed far from that. It was blotchy and looked gasthly pale. Something was bothering her.

"Nothing really," She muttered and dusted off her skirt. "Just the usual pureblood concerns."

Bradley rolled his eyes. "Let me tell you Crystal. You are perfect."

Crystal actually let out a laugh. "This coming from you? I dare not need to ask your blood status." She teased.

"Half-blood, thanks for asking." He crossed his arms, but still looked highly amused.

"I suppose that's not terrible seeing as I let you touch me." She eyed her arm where he touched her with a tiny bit of distaste.

"Oh get off your high hippogriff." Bradley laughed, "Let's go for a walk my fair maiden. Then you can tell me what is ailing you so." He held up his arm which she graciously took with a grin.

"I doubt you could help me with what's ailing me." She shrugged as they walked at a decently pace.

"Try me," He looked down on her. "Although, I have a good idea because I saw you leave with Longbottom at dinner. So I'm going to venture that it's boy troubles."

"Observant aren't we? Or just a stalker," She furrowed her eyebrow. Was it that noticeable, her actions? She certainly hoped not. There were so many mini-Death Eaters that could report to a number of people. She could be in so much trouble for what she was doing. But why should she care? Wasn't that why she was upset in the first place?

"No, I was leaving at the time and noticed you. I wanted to say hello, but Longbottom looked troubled." He justified. He had wanted to say hello to her since they first met. When they rode in the carriage it was so much fun. He enjoyed her company, as did his friends. But none of them really had the courage to confront her. She was always with some of the most popular people within the school.

"Yeah, he was giving a speech." Crystal shook her head. The tears were attempting to swell up again. But yet at the same time she was smiling. She was happy being with an outsider. It felt good, he didn't know her whole life story. She just felt awful thinking about what Neville said because what he said was right.

"The high and mighty pureblood doing something wrong?" Bradley looked at her with doubt. "I thought you were the top student in your grade. So I know it wasn't about that."

She smirked, "Top next to Hermione. But yes, I did something wrong in Neville's mind." She sighed, "Apparently I'm too selfless. I need to start thinking about what I want and not what my parents want."

"He's right you know. That's the problem with all you purebloods." He shook his head in agreement. "That's why my mum married a muggle. She was a pureblood you know." Bradley carried on looking at her with a sincere heart. He had heard all the stories from his mother, so he knew what Crystal was going through. He wanted to help her if he could. "I can keep a secret, so tell me," He paused dramatically as he stopped walking and leaned in close to her. "What do you want?"

Crystal blinked profusely at him in shock. She swallowed hard and shook her head in honestly. "I really don't know. I've never given it much of a thought…"

"Then maybe it's about time."


	8. Chapter 8: Illusion

**Chapter 8: I need more time to form an illusion.**

**A/N: I would like to use this time to make a public announcement…Graphic Design III is kicking my butt. That is all…oh and thanks for the lovely review from: **_**ChocolateBeth, Kathalla, Nizuna Fujieda, kittyp00z, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, and nekuranekomegami.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter…little known fact.**

* * *

><p>Crystal ended up sleeping in on Saturday. It had been an exhausting week. After what happened on Wednesday, she was upset and found herself crying more and more. She couldn't figure out what she wanted. Neville attempted to make her feel better, but she wouldn't have any of that. In the end, Crystal ended up escaping to the Ravenclaw table for dinner on Friday. Harry was not amused, he talked to her afterwards and asked her why she was sitting with Ravenclaws top Chaser. She merely shrugged it off and told him not to worry about it. Harry's little talk lead to her hanging out with the trio on Friday night into the early hours. When she did finally wake up around lunch time, Hermione was already gone along with all her other roommates. She decided it was best that she head down to the great hall for lunch.<p>

Crystal quickly got ready and headed down. She intended to sit with her Gryffindor friends, but a head of platinum blonde hair distracted her. She found her feet automatically going over to the Slytherin table, but she stopped herself half way to the blonde head. She was feeling foolish. Did she really want to sit with Malfoy, or was she doing this out of habit? She stood there looking like an idiot attempting to sort this out in her mind, but she didn't come to a resolve. Crystal shrugged and sat down anyways.

"Afternoon," She greeted happily to the people around her. She looked up at Crabbe and Goyle, who barely even grunted. They looked irritated for some reason, but regardless they were plowing into their food like they wouldn't see it for another week. Blaise on the other hand was in full spirits as he turned his attention from Theodore and gave Crystal an enthusiastic grin.

"Just the girl we were looking for." Blaise said.

"What did I do now?" Crystal sighed and looked between the boys.

"Word is you've been hanging around with the Ravenclaw chaser." Draco supplied with a raised eyebrow.

"Bradley? Yeah, a bit. He's a half-blood so no worries." Crystal shifted in her seat as she put a sandwich on her plate.

"I don't care about his status, just don't do it." Theodore snapped.

"And why not?" Crystal didn't like their tone, nor did she like their accusing eyes. Maybe this is what Neville meant by she never made a decision herself. They were telling her what to do again, regardless if that's what she wanted or not. She wanted to be his friend, so why should they stop her.

"Use your head would you? People will talk." Draco said simply as he reached out and interlaced her fingers with his.

Crystal bit her lip. If she wanted to stand up for herself she would have to do it now. "But what if that's not what I want?" She said softly.

There was an audible gasp from the boys around her. But the harshest came from Theodore himself. "You should do as you are told." He said with a deep glare.

Crystal let go of Draco's hand. "I don't want too." She said simply. "I don't remember Draco, at all. I feel like I barely know him. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone I don't know. I just need time and for now, I want to make my own choices." She whispered angrily.

"Crystal, this can't be easy on you, but you can't back out now." Draco reached out and grabbed her hand once more. She tried fighting back, but he wouldn't let her. His grip was too strong. "I know you never want to do things for yourself, but I am begging you do not start now."

"Then prove to me you are worth my time." She growled.

"I already planned on spending the whole day with you, if that's what you wanted." Draco smiled warmly as he watched her nibble on her sandwich. She didn't look too thrilled either. He couldn't blame her. If he lost his memories he wouldn't want much to do with himself either. He was genuinely surprised with how cooperative she has been.

Crystal shuttered for a bit. "I guess that would be alright."

"You guess or you know?" Draco raised an eyebrow as his famous smirk laced his lips.

"No, I mean I can hang out with you. Though is Blaise planning on being there? He's a little bit of a tart, if you get my drift." Crystal pointed at Blaise but didn't look at him. She could just feel the scowl on his face.

"He kind of is." Draco nodded in agreement. "Last night, he had a bloody muggle in the roo—" Draco started but stopped once a biscuit hit him in the chest.

"I did not have a muggle in the room." Blaise glared, but quickly threw a wink over at Crystal. "For your information, it was Crystal."

Theodore let out a gasp. "You mean to tell me—" He paused looking absolutely mortified. "Those were—"

"Definitely," Blaise nodded in agreement.

"Or just Blaise talking to himself," Crystal rolled her eyes. "Because we all know that he could never get a girl. Oh wait…why is that? Let me think here, because he's in love with Harry Potter."

Blaise choked on his pumpkin juice, while Theodore gave him a soft pat on the back.

"Must be true with a reaction like that." Draco said while holding back laughter.

"Uncalled for," Blaise glared harshly at Crystal.

"It was too called for." Crystal smirked.

"Take it back!" He commanded.

"Get a girlfriend and then I will." Crystal took a bite of her sandwich, hoping that he wouldn't press farther. It was possible he would. Blaise looked really upset as his friends chuckled around him. They all knew Blaise had never had a girlfriend. He never thought any were good enough for him.

The banter and playfulness continued throughout the whole day. They ended up hanging out in the Slytherin common room for a good part of the day, only leaving for dinner. Crystal was surprised by how much fun she was having. Around 9 at night though, Draco pulled her aside and escaped from the laughter and pulled her out to their favorite classroom. They both sat down in their usual spots and found it fit to stare out the window on the grounds. It was dark out though, the moon was hiding behind clouds. It was going to rain any minute now. The silence filled around them and they felt at peace. They hadn't been together like this since the summer. Draco appreciated it a lot. Being here with her was letting his mind clear. Just her and her presence was more than enough to put a smile on his face. If only she remembered him clearly. But Crystal was slowly remembering him and that was worth something. She was actually trying. What was going through her head though? Draco took his eyes off of the dreary sky and looked at her. She had a soft smile trace upon her lips, but her eyes were slightly creased. She seemed to be thinking about something deep. He couldn't place his finger on it. He finally spoke out breaking their silence.

"Would you be here if you didn't have to be?" Draco said softly.

Crystal turned her head hesitantly from the window and looked into Draco's eyes. "I'm here because I want to be, no one is making me."

"You know that's not true." Draco got up and sat directly next to her, letting his hand casually rest on hers.

"I will admit this summer was pure bliss. I never imagined I would be as loved and as recognized as I was. But Draco," She paused and looked into his grey eyes, "I'm here because I am your friend. It is my choice, father isn't here to hold my hand."

"He is still guiding you though," Draco sighs, knowing it's true. Both their fathers were dictating their every action whether they were there or not. They knew how they had to act at all times and that stood no matter what.

"He wasn't guiding me last year when I went to the Ministry of Magic." Crystal clarified with a light smile. "I do make some of my own decisions."

"So you really want to be here with me?" He asked.

"Why are you losing your confidence? From what I understand Draco, you are the cockiest male alive, but yet whenever you are around me you are timid. Why?" She ignored his question and studied him. She had been doing that for some time since they got to Hogwarts. She noticed he was very cocky and always thought highly of himself. But as of lately that was going downhill. He wasn't as assertive as before. Could it be her? Or could it be his mission that is bringing out this new side of him?

"A Malfoy never loses his confidence." He puffs out his chest and attempts to be proud, but he still doesn't have his full haughty manner. Draco knew why too, he felt like he didn't deserve Crystal. Not as he was right now. If he could complete his mission…then he could deserve her, even if just for a moment.

"I don't really know what a Malfoy does or doesn't do. Can you refresh my memory?" Crystal said suggestively. She may have spent the whole summer at the Malfoy's, but she knew she still had a lot to learn. Draco kept from her a lot of the time. Now that they were at school she had less time with him and to be honest she wasn't sure if that's what she wanted. She couldn't help but feel this warmth in her heart whenever he was around. She wanted to keep that feeling at all cost. And she knew how much Draco loved the attention he received from Pansy, so why couldn't she try it?

"Excuse me?" Draco blinked and hopped off the desk he was sitting on. He wasn't sure if he heard her right. It sounded like she was hitting on him. Was she really?

"What did I shudder?" Crystal stood up and grabbed Draco's hand. "I didn't think I did." She raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"Crystal Beatrice Nott," Draco says slowly. He wasn't sure what was going on. He was used to girls throwing themselves on him, but not Crystal. She was a goody goody and a Gryffindor at that.

"Yes?" She giggled, noticing Draco rolled his eyes at her response. He was so uptight. Was he always this uptight?

"You should get back to the Gryffindor common room." He shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll escort you." Draco smiled reassuringly.

"And what if I don't want too?" Crystal crossed her arms with a huff. Did he have to be demanding right when they were having some quality alone time? Her eyes widened when the thought hit her. He was right in front of her. What she wanted the most was Draco. Even if she didn't remember him, he was everything she ever wanted. His gentle eyes, his sweet words, the way he treated her with care, that's what she wanted.

Draco frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm going to the Gryffindor common room." She said silently and headed for the door.

Draco was filled with worry at once. Did he say something to offend her? "Crystal, wait!" He asked reaching out for her and pulling her towards him. "What's wrong?" He repeated again, not believing her first answer.

"Oh," She said softly, "I just had a—" She stopped herself. Her thoughts wondered around for a bit. Should she tell him? No, it was better she didn't. Once she pieces everything together then she can decide if he is really what she wants. She couldn't just jump into it. Who knows if this is just planted thoughts. She was trained all summer to love Draco so maybe just maybe she did fall in love with him? Was that possible? She closed her eyes.

"_Come on, dance with me." Draco whispered softly into her hear while he held his hand out. Crystal nodded slowly and grabbed onto it, letting him will her to the dance floor. It was there 4__th__ ball since they were engaged. Crystal was growing weary of them, but Draco kept her going. He always had a smile upon his face and always was ready for any attitude she threw at him._

_He put his arm around her waist as she dangled her hands on his shoulder. Together they fell into rhythm and let their bodies sway to the music. "Is there any press here tonight?" Crystal asked softly letting her eyes roam all over the ballroom. They stayed far away from Draco's eyes. She didn't want to look into those sad deep eyes. She couldn't handle it. Every time she locked with them, she wanted to cry. She hated herself for not remembering._

"_Not that I'm aware of, but that doesn't mean we can wonder from each other." Draco said sternly as if reading her mind. She wanted to walk away and he knew it. Last ball she had the audacity to walk away and hide, while sending Pansy to jump all over him. That was a large mess to clean up. The things she got herself into. Sometimes he wonders if she was more of Slytherin if things would be different. She probably wouldn't have so much guts to defy the Dark Lord, that's for sure._

_Crystal narrowed her eyes, "I wasn't going to leave you, __**love**__." She spat with venom._

_Draco gave her waist an uncomfortable squeeze. "There is no need for your sarcasm." His eyes were on fire, but his voice was calm and collective. Anyone listening in would have thought he was playfully scolding her._

"_Fine," she pouted childishly. "How long do we have to dance for then?" She questioned attempting not to roll her eyes._

"_At least four more songs, then we need to socialize." Draco smiled warmly._

_She let out a huff, "Four? Seriously?" Crystal nearly gave up dancing at that moment, but she threw her head on Draco's shoulder instead. "I'm exhausted," She complained._

_Draco's eyes softened up a bit as he pulled her closer, attempting to make it more comfortable for her as he danced with her. "I know," He said softly as he planted a kiss on the top of her head. "Tomorrow you will be able to sleep in, I promise."_

"_There are just so many events to keep up with." Crystal said heavily. It's true, they had been having tea parties almost every day, balls every Friday, luncheons on Sundays, and every Wednesday she was required to go to Death Eater meetings, those were the hardest. _

"_It was always like this, you were just in America." Draco tried not to laugh. She missed out on so much, he had years of this torture behind him. _

"_And I bet you handled it elegantly." She rolled her eyes, not amused._

"_Not always," He admitted._

"_Oh please, thee Draco Malfoy not handle something with grace?" Crystal let out a dark laugh and lifted her head of his shoulder to give him an annoyed look. "Don't joke with me."_

"_I'm not," He said honestly. When Crystal didn't say anything and just stared at him in disbelief, almost stopping their dance he carried on. "Right before the start of my fourth year, there was a ball held at the Parkinson's. I really didn't want to go. Pansy had been begging me for weeks to ask her out, so you can see why I didn't want to go."_

"_No, I thought you loved Pansy." Crystal teased, but trailed off towards the end at Draco's harsh glare._

"_Hahaha," He sneered. "Anyways, I went because I had no choice. But while I was there I made sure to stay clear of Pansy. I ended up dancing with Emily Breckt—" _

_Crystal snorted breaking Draco's story. "What? Isn't she that Slytherin whore?" She paused only for a moment, then right as Draco was about to speak she added on. "Who am I kidding, look at who I am talking to?" She laughed._

"_I resent that." Draco snapped._

"_Okay sorry, carry on. Finish your fabulous story." _

_He narrowed his eyes, "I don't think I will." He smirked._

"_No, you will because you love me." Crystal said simply. She knew how to play this game. She may not know him that well, but he had his strings and she was starting to learn how to pull them._

"_Okay, fine." He sighed and picked up the pace in their dancing. He noticed they started to slow down as they were talking. They should just sit at a table together instead of dancing. He was even starting to feel exhausted. It's probably all this banter that he has to sit through because of her. Who knows… "So as I was saying. I ended up dancing with Breckt. Which looking back on it wasn't the best idea. Pansy had been hinting all week in letters that she wanted to talk to me about something. Being the gentlemen I am, I ignored her. Finally Pansy lost it and ripped Breckt out of my hands and began to dance with me." He shook his head, replaying the memory clearly in his mind. Pansy has some wicked anger. He hated to see her reaction when she found out Crystal was coming back to England. If he was a betting man, he would have bet she set their manor on fire. "I obviously wasn't too thrilled with Pansy's behavior, so I walked out and went home. I was grounded for a week."_

_Crystal blinked at him several times. Then finally she busted out laughing "That…seriously? That's the best you got?" She said through laughs. _

_Draco blinked at her, he thought it was pretty outrageous. He isn't allowed to leave a ball until Father and Mother approve. And he never disobeyed his parents. To be honest, that was his first time he ever did. But he was so sick of Pansy, she was so annoying back then. She finally matured some bit this year. "Crystal, that's a serious offense, disobeying your parents." He said sternly feeling his pride shrink away._

"_No need to tell me about that." She rolled her eyes, but then a smirked creped on her lips. She had an idea. Draco would never go for it, but she could convince him._

"_What's with that smirk?" He said picking up her change of attitude at once. Draco hadn't seen that smile in a long time. She was up to something. And somehow that left butterflies in his stomach._

"_Draco, how much do you love me?" Crystal asked playfully. _

"_Crystal," He said softly, what was she getting at? She already knew he loved her a lot. _

_She let her eyes lock with his, only for a moment before she tore her hands away from his neck and grabbed his hand and ran. She didn't look back, but he was protesting hard attempting to get her back to dancing. He couldn't help wondering what she was playing at. They were going to get in so much trouble. But she didn't seem to care. She kept glancing back and giggling. She looked so happy. How could he say no to that? After seeing her smile a couple of times he couldn't ignore her happiness. He let her lead him all the way to the private Garden in Nott Manor, where this ball was being held. She kept running all the way to the fairy fountain, where she stopped and gasped for air._

"_The air was so stifling in there, wasn't it?" She said with a smirk. She leaned down and breathed deeply._

_Draco took a seat on the fountain edge and eyed her with curiosity. "A little bit, but we are going to be in a lot of trouble." He pointed out._

"_I'm not too worried about it. I had some sort of memory where we went to this fountain and I had to run to it to confirm it is all." Crystal waved her hand in the air, as if dismissing it._

"_We did share several memories here." He said softly, he knew she wouldn't remember. _

"_Then why not have another one?" She questioned as she twirled staring up at the night time sky. "Besides, you have me all alone." Crystal laughed._

"_Sit down before you hurt yourself." Draco smiled and grabbed her waist setting her down next to him on the fountain edge. She was bouncing with energy. It was adorable._

_A light blushed formed on her cheeks at his touch. It's not that he hasn't touched her like that before, no just moments before his hands were on her waist, she just wasn't used to him being so close. This was the first time he was slightly opening up to her. His angry scowl was no longer on his face, he had a true smile. "Draco," She said softly._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Can you tell me something?" She questioned with her eyes locked right onto his. He reached out and held her hand gently, urging her to go on. She swallowed hard. "Remember at my ball, when you said that you knew you loved me the moment I left for Hogwarts?"_

"_Yes, why do you ask?" Draco questioned keep his tone as soft as hers._

"_Is that really true?" Crystal gave his hand a nervous squeeze. She was honestly afraid to know his answer._

_He nodded his head, "It's true." He said reassuringly as he took both of her hands in his and looked right at her. "I'd never lie about my feelings for you. To me you are everything, even if I'm not your everything right now, that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is your happiness. I just want you to know that, everything I do is for you." He said truthfully. "When I'm with you, I'm no longer afraid. When I'm with you, my sadness ebbs away. But yet, I know it's my fault. It's my fault you are like this. I should have been there for you, protecting you because I love you. But I am still so weak." He hung his head in shame. _

_Crystal didn't know what to say, she opened and closed her mouth for a second before she threw her arms around him tightly. "Thank you," She whispered as his arms found their way around her._

"Draco?" Crystal said softly as the memory passed through her mind. Slowly a tear began to form from the corner of her eye. She tried to push it away, but she couldn't. It was already making its way down her cheek as Draco responded.

"Yes, Crystal?" He responded.

"I want to be with you. I may not remember you, but I've spent enough time with you to know I am making the right decision." She smiled with a teasing heart. "Although, that Dark Mark on your arm makes me think otherwise," She laughed.

"Crystal," He hissed, hating being reminded about that cursed Dark Mark. "You're crying," He said suddenly noticing the tears streaking her cheeks.

She shook her head quickly and wiped them away. "I'm just happy to be here with you." She admitted.

"Really?" He said in disbelieve.

She didn't say anything, instead she reached out and threw her arms tightly around him. "Really really," She whispered.

He grabbed her tightly, "I love you, Crystal."

"I know you do and for that I thank you." She pulled away from the hug and grabbed onto his hand. "It's getting late, I should get back to the Gryffindor common room."

"Goodnight, love." He pulled her hand towards his lips and planted a soft kiss upon it.

"Will I see you in the morning?" She asked curiously. Crystal knew it was unlikely. He was really busy, but she couldn't blame him. He was working on an important project. She didn't want anything to happen to him or his family because of his failure. No, he wouldn't fail. He couldn't.

"I think I can make an appearance." He said in a cocky voice.

"For me?" Crystal jutted out her bottom lip, giving him puppy dog eyes.

Draco poked her nose, "I suppose for you. Now get to bed."

"Yes, father." She rolled her eyes and left the classroom. She knew for sure she made the right decision. She belonged with Draco, whether she was forced or not. He was meant for her, she could feel it deep within her.

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><p><strong>AN: How would you feel about a full out snogging scene? I'm not really into writing those, but I think I could swing something if you readers really want it. Crystal isn't really the sexy type, but I think I can fit it in somehow if that's wanted :P **


	9. Chapter 9: Silence

**Chapter 9: The still silence.**

**A/N: I'm still on the fence about the snogging scene. But meh, maybe I will have to do another Draco fanfic after this one and make a less innocent character. I kinda like that idea. Anyways, enjoy this chapter. And thanks for the reviews :)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>"Neville, would you just talk to me!" Crystal pouted. He hadn't talked to her in weeks. Hogsmeade was coming up and with the snowy weather the only person she wanted to go with was him. Draco was too busy working on his 'mission' and getting detentions for not doing homework to go with her. She just wanted to go with her best friend. But he wasn't saying anything, she was beginning to feel cold and lonely.<p>

"_Neville, I know what I want." She announced bursting into the 6__th__ year boys dorms. They all were getting ready for bed, Ron didn't even have a shirt on when she busted in. She ignored it though and walked right up to her best friend, as everyone watched her with curiosity. _

"_Yes?" Neville smiled happily as he reached out and held her hands. She was grinning from ear to ear, she was really happy about something. _

"_Even though I don't remember Draco, I have my memories of this summer." Crystal didn't let the smile falter from her lips, as Neville's face fell into a frown. She could tell he didn't like where this was going. "And I promise you I'm not just following what my father wants. I truly do want to try and make this work with Draco."_

_Neville's hands fell from hers at once. The betray he felt went deep. He took a couple steps back. "Okay," He said in a harsh whisper. This was not what he was expecting. He wasn't expecting her to pick him. Draco's family hurt her so badly. Her own family hurt her even. She was hardly ever happy around them, why was she doing this? Neville couldn't even look at her, his heart felt crushed._

"_Please don't be upset," She pleaded attempting to reach out and touch his hand, but he wouldn't let her. He was already withdrawing himself and threw himself into bed._

"_I'll see you tomorrow." Neville snapped in a dark voice. _

_Crystal's eyes began to water. "Neville…" She whispered. "Please, look at me!" She begged, but he wasn't moving he already threw the blanket over his head and was pretending to be asleep. Crystal just stood there blinking tears away. "I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry. Why can't you just be happy for me?" She finally had it, she threw herself on the floor and began crying into her hands. She felt an arm make its way around her shoulder._

"_I think its best that you leave, Nott." A voice commanded her. But she couldn't tell who it was. Maybe it was Dean? She wasn't sure. She nodded slowly and let the boy escort her out of the dorm. _

She had had it. It had been weeks since she told him that and she wasn't going to be rejected by him. He couldn't just ignore her, she was Crystal Beatrice Nott and she gets what she wants. "Neville Longbottom, look at me right now." She demanded putting her firm hands on her hips.

He turned around, he had never heard that much anger within her voice before. "What?" He snapped, but truth was, one look within her eyes and he wanted to say he was sorry for everything. The sorrow he inflicted within those eyes was more than he could carry. This was his entire fault. He did this to her by ignoring her for weeks on end. It's not like he wasn't the only one ignoring her either. He hardly noticed Malfoy around, leaving her with either her brother or Zabini. Both of which he could tell she didn't care for their company. She had to have been lonely. Yes she had Hermione, but Neville had managed to get Ron, Harry, Dean, and Seamus on his side. She was really alone. He was a terrible friend.

She looked down shyly at her feet. "I know you are mad at me…" Crystal said softly. "But could you find it in your heart to forgive me? I just want to go to Hogsmeade with my best friend."

"You don't want to go with your lover, Malfoy?" He glared at her before turning around and walking away towards the great hall. He just wanted to get to dinner. He wasn't planning on going to Hogsmeade tomorrow. Why should he go?

"He has a detention." She admitted, but the pain was in her voice. She was really hurting.

"Is that the only reason you are planning on going with me?" Neville stopped upon the staircase once more as Crystal took a step closer to him. He watched her as her eyes began to swell with tears, he was really upsetting her. He should lighten up, he thought. But he was going to stand up for himself. She was a strong girl, she could handle herself.

"No, I want to go with you. In case you so rudely forgot, we are friends." Crystal voice held confidence as she grabbed onto his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. "If you say no, I'll just go with Bradley."

Neville raised an eyebrow, "The Ravenclaw?" As he said it his face shifted into disgust. He couldn't decide if that was worse than her hanging out with the Slytherin's. He was just being overly jealous. He shouldn't be doing that and he knew it.

"Yes, the best chaser the team has." She smirked with satisfaction. She seemed to have hit a nerve.

"Fine, I'll go with you." Neville said suddenly. He couldn't help but smile, he would never admit it to her, but he was lonely without her. "But you have to spend the whole day with me."

"Okay," She wasn't going to argue with that. Having him back as a friend would be more than she could ask for.

"And you have to eat dinner with me tonight." He carried on getting confidence.

"I dunno, that's stretching it Neville." She crossed her arms acting angry with him.

"It's Longbottom to you." He teased right back.

"Well then, Sir Longbottom would you escort me to dinner?" Crystal bowed and held out her hand for him to take. He laughed and grabbed her hand with happiness.

"Of course Miss Nott," He said and together they walked down to the great hall laughing and for the first time in about a month they were friends. Both of them were light on their feet and happy. They sat together all of dinner, laughing and talking, until they were just about to leave. That's when Neville's face turned from a smile into a deep scowl. Crystal immediately turned to see Blaise approaching her, not looking too excited.

"Sorry," She mouthed over to Neville before she stood up and met Blaise half way. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Blaise?" She smiled warmly to her Slytherin friend.

"We can't help notice you are back with your Gryffindor friend." He pointed out as he nudged his head over to Neville, who was beating his desert to death with his fork. "Care if we go for a walk?" He asked holding out his arm for her to take.

She gave a fleeting look to Neville before she grabbed onto his arm. She knew Blaise wouldn't be as harsh as her brother, but she still didn't want to leave either way. Her mind could only imagine what he wanted. It's not like she had really done anything wrong. Granted they were all overly thrilled to see how cauterized she was from her Gryffindor friends the past week, but that shouldn't really change anything. They were aware of her friendship before, so what would change now?

The pair walked out of the great hall in silence. Blaise was waiting until they were closer to the Slytherin common room before he finally spoke. "I am sure you realize Draco is busy tomorrow."

"Obviously," Crystal tried not to roll her eyes. So this was about Hogsmeade tomorrow.

"And I know you don't exactly have an exuberant amount of patience." He pulled her arm closer to him, afraid she was going to attempt to escape as he kept pulling her farther into the dungeons. She noticed the movement right away and it was making her uncomfortable. Blaise is never like this, when he is, well its bad news. She kept her eyes forward regardless and listened as best as she could. "What I'm trying to say is, you still have a mission too."

"I realized that." Crystal let out a deep sigh.

"Meaning, you should really go with a group of friends tomorrow and not just that blood traitor." He pointed out and finally stopped walking to face her. He studied her face closely. She was biting her lip and fidgeting slightly. She was planning on going with just him, he could see that now in her body movement. She may still want to be with Draco, but her free spirit remains as intact as ever.

"He's not a blood traitor…" She mumbled softly.

"You're not denying that you are going with just him?" Blaise looked down at her with harsh eyes, but Crystal didn't shrink away. If anything she stood even taller as she stared at him.

"I wouldn't dream of lying to you." She smirked. "Look, I promise nothing will happen. Neville and I are just friends."

"That doesn't change anything." Blaise crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her sternly.

"You'll have to carry me away from him." Crystal pushed her fingers into Blaise' chest, "Because he's my friend and I'm not leaving him for yo—"

Blaise cut her off, "I can arrange that, young lady."

"I'd like to see you try." She stuck her tongue out childishly. "Besides, who got your wand in a knot? You are being worse than Theo, if that's possible."

"Theodore has—" He paused as Crystal rose an eyebrow at him. "Other engagements tonight," He finished, looking uncomfortable.

"Other engagements?" Crystal was trying not to laugh. "Care to elaborate?"

"I can't," Blaise said quickly.

"Then no promises tomorrow. I may just be alone with Neville. Alone in the coffee shop, locked in hands, li—"

"Crystal Beatrice Nott, do not talk like that." Blaise cut her off quickly and glared at her sharply. He was angry for some reason. She ignored it with a smile.

"Yes, alright Blaise," She patted his arm reassuringly. "I promise I will not snog with him, but we may just hold hands. Kidding!" She added quickly noticing his glare. "Seriously, who imperiused you?"

"No one, I'm just looking out for my favorite gal." He said pointedly.

"Your only girl," Crystal grinned and corrected him with a light punch in the arm.

"Hey, I almost have a girlfriend." Blaise said proudly.

"If by girlfriend you mean my brother, than yes I suppose you do." She laughed.

"Your brother would be pissed if he heard you say that." Blaise laughed.

"Which is why we won't tell him, now will we?" She raised an eyebrow daring him to think otherwise.

"Of course not," He patted her on the back. "Go back to your common room will you?"

"Sure, anything for you." Crystal laughed. "Blaise?" She paused as she started to head away from the Slytherin common room.

"Yeah, Crystal?" he stared at her in confusion.

"Thanks for looking out for me." She smiled warmly.

"You do it for me all the time."

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><p>Crystal was so excited for this day. She wore her favorite dark blue dress, did her hair perfectly, and even threw on a dash of make-up before she ran downstairs to meet up with Neville. She hadn't seen anything of Draco all morning, which dampened her feelings a little bit, but she couldn't stop smiling by the time she made it into the great hall. Tightly bundled up in a scarf and cape she bounced right over to Neville.<p>

"The snow is beautiful." She said in a whimsical voice as she twirled around right in front of Neville.

Neville smiled as he watched her. How he missed her eccentric ways. "Yeah it is," He said softly watching her radiate with happiness.

"Too bad it will be a little chilly out today." Crystal scrunched her nose as she began walking down the steps towards Flich, who was searching the students vigorously. "What do you have planned?" She asked.

"I didn't plan on anything today. I thought you were planning the day out. You were the one who asked me." Neville frowned.

"Oh," Crystal sighed. She loved teasing him. "I see how it is. Alright, well butterbeer it is!" She smiled happily and grabbed onto Neville's hand as they stood in line. They were almost ready to be searched and then they could have their day together. "I just want to warn you, we have Slytherin's watching our every move."

"I hadn't noticed." He grumbled softly as Harring, a 7th year Slytherin slid behind them. He watched closely, noticing how many there were around them. It looked like there was at least eight that he could see. He tried not to sigh as they were being searched. At least he could spend time with her.

He waited patiently for her to be searched. For some odd reason Flich was searching her extra hard. He figured it probably had to do something with her family. He had noticed that the Slyhterin's were getting searched a bit longer too. He wondered why that was. Finally she was done and they were able to head out.

Together as the snow whipped passed their face they trudged along the path and head up towards the beautiful village. "Crystal," Neville smiled and picked up their walking pace. He really didn't want to be over heard, especially not by the Slytherin's. "I owe you an apology." He admitted.

"What for? I was the one at fault." Crystal hung her head sadly.

"No, you decided what you wanted. I should be happy for you no matter what, right?" Neville corrected.

"I don't think so. What if I'm making the wrong choice?" She asked softly.

"I don't think your heart is wrong. You want to be with Malfoy." Neville patted her arm reassuringly. He didn't want to go back to being upset with her. That was the last thing he wanted. He did want to talk about this, but he couldn't do this right now. It was still ripping him apart. She deserved to be happy. Who was he to take that away from her?

"But Nevs, he's…" She paused and looked around. There is no way anyone could hear them over the wind that was blowing. No one was close enough. Regardless she leaned in close to Neville, "He's a Death Eater." She said softly.

"Wh—"Her words caught him off guard. He was expecting her to say on the wrong side but not a Death Eater. Was he really a Death Eater? No she wouldn't make something like this up. He had to of been. Neville couldn't help but narrow his eyes in disgust. "As long as you know who you are." He tried to keep an even voice, but it was breaking. He felt torn. She was everything to him, but what if she was forced to be a Death Eater? What then…would they still be friends?

"I do, trust me. I saw more than you can imagine this summer." She shook her head as a sigh escaped her lips.

Neville couldn't help but look at her hoping for more. She never talked about what happened in the summer. She always treated it as if it was something she wanted to get rid of. He followed her in the papers, her face look far from pleased. She even smiled less as of lately. He didn't doubt that the summer was hard on her. He could see it in her letters that she wrote once a week, and in the creases that never stopped to burden her face. He couldn't explain it. Maybe that' why he wanted her so desperately to leave Malfoy and be with someone else, he just wanted her smile back.

"Were almost to the Three Broomsticks," she skipped along happily. Just as the wave of regret and anger surged forward, it was gone. "My treat," She said while running forward before Neville could protest.

"What! No, Crissy!" Neville begged and began chasing after her. She was a fast runner, he would admit to that as he chased her all the way down to the Three Broomsticks. She was already inside and ordering by the time he made his way in. It was decently full. There were students milling around, he decided to snag a table in the corner by the window. He knew Crystal would love this spot, she always enjoyed watching the snow fall.

"One butterbeer for Sir Longbottom," She bowed and placed the bottle in front of him as he glared. She ignored it and threw on her best smirk. "After this we are going to honeydukes and you know what?"

He tried not to groan, she had something planned. "What?" He asked softly before diving into his butterbeer.

"I'm buying you sugar quills. Those are your favorites after all." Crystal threw him one quick smile before looking out the window. The snow was coming down beautifully. If she could stay here forever she would. Here with Neville, where things were peaceful. She didn't have to worry about her every action and move. Things were just simpler.

"You can't keep spoiling me. I'm the guy remember?" Neville said defensively.

"I never said you weren't." Crystal laughed.

"Is this how you—" He paused and shook his head, "Never mind."

Crystal ignored his comment and carried on staring at the snow. "You know, usually on the first snow I celebrate by sipping hot chocolate and eating cheese." Her eyes focused on a spot outside, looking past the meandering students. "This year I didn't. I just felt like I was missing something. I want more than anything to be with someone. But I sat alone in an abandoned classroom waiting. Waiting for nothing." She sighed and looked over at Neville who was gripping his butterbeer and staring into his hands. "I can't get rid of this hole that I feel inside of me. The healers during the summer said it was because of my lost memories. I don't like it."

Neville looked her straight in the eyes, "How did you lose them? Your memories of Malfoy, that is." He asked sympathetically.

"Because of what happened, what we fought for." She shook her head as she pulled out her wand. She looked around, there were Slytherin's around her. She figured they were trying to listen in, but she wouldn't have any of that. She cast a quick spell and leaned back in her chair, looking as natural as possible as she played with her wand. "I know we are right. Pureblood or not, everyone is human. We shouldn't be torturing and killing for that."

"And that's what I meant when I said, as long as you know who you are." Neville smiled, feeling extremely proud of her.

"I know and I won't forget." She took a sip of her butterbeer and cast her eyes back out the window. "I can't forget. It weighed on me all summer. Even when I saw Draco get branded." She shook her head as images flooded her mind. They were dark and unpleasant. "I don't know why I'm putting myself through this. I guess because if I love Draco, he can't be that bad right?" She questioned innocently.

"I dunno," Neville finally tore his eyes away from his hands and looked at her straight in the eyes. She looked upset, the tears were starting to come forward. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he knew that was out of the question, she'd be pulled away from him so fast, especially with all the Slytherins around. They sat in silence for a moment longer. Their eyes were locked, before Crystal spoke up again.

"I just want to believe deep down in my heart he really isn't one of the bad guys." The tears finally slipped out of Crystal's eyes. Neville couldn't take it anymore, he reached out to place her hand in his when a flash of light went off. Both of them blinked and looked stunned. Crystal reacted first with a swift, "Shit," She muttered and stood up watching the reporters, from the Witches Gossip, no doubt leave. "Neville," She grumbled once more before abandoning her drink and looking around for a familiar Slytherin she could turn too. But no one around her was anyone she really knew. Her heart was racing as she ran towards the door. She would have to use her pureblooded skills to get to the reporters before that was published.

"Nott!" A voice called harshly behind her. She reluctantly turned her head to see Pansy Parkinson leaning up against the wall of the Three Broomsticks with a sad grin on her face. "The reporters just apparated away if that's what you are wondering."

Crystal groaned, "Yes, I was. Thanks anyways Parkinson." She kicked some snow and started to head back into the Three Broomsticks. Pansy didn't let her though. She grabbed onto her arm tightly.

"Look, it's only a gossip magazine for witches. It's not that bad." Pansy let go of Crystal's arm, with a grin.

"What are you playing at?" Crystal narrowed her eyes and stared at Pansy with distaste. She was up to something and Crystal didn't like it at all. She had tried all summer to be Pansy's friend, but Pansy wouldn't allow that. She was always cold and heartless towards her, so her being nice right now was raising some bright red flags.

"We are both purebloods. We need to stick up for each other right?" Pansy said lightly, but Crystal's eyes didn't lighten up any.

"Right," Crystal responded in a dark distant voice.

Pansy let out a sigh, "I know I haven't been the nicest towards you, but you need to believe me. I am not out to get you right now." She said with what Crystal assumed as her best smile. "At least not right now…" She finished in a slight mutter.

"Okay," Crystal said in disbelief as she shook some snow out of hair.

"Why don't you tell your blood traitor of a friend you'll talk to him later and head over by Blaise?" She suggested with a warm smile. "He's near the bar."

"I guess I'll have too." Crystal gave one last look to Pansy before heading back into the bar. She didn't head over towards Neville, he was already waiting at the door, looking apathetic.

"What happened?" He asked looking upset at once.

"I can't talk too much here, but let's put it this way, I am in a lot of trouble." She hung her head in shame.

"I gathered that much." He reached out and lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. If only he could read her thoughts. Whatever was going through them wasn't good at all.

"Those were reporters…" She sighed. "I have to call today short, I'll meet you in the Gryffindor common room later, okay?" Crystal let a smile trace on her lips, but Neville knew it wasn't her real smile. He let out a soft sigh and walked away from her, leaving Crystal with a heavy heart. She shook her head and headed over to Blaise. She didn't even get a chance to say anything before he opened his mouth.

"I told you to be good." He didn't look away from his conversation with some Slytherin, Crystal didn't know, as he spoke.

"Yes well, damage is done. Care to take me to Honeydukes? I'm craving some chocolate now." Her voice wavered. She felt awful. If anything she was going to get a howler tomorrow. She knew better. She was taught to always be alerted. She was a top subject among the magazines. The Gryffindor, protector of good, trapped within the dark world. They were sure to post something that she's under a spell or some potion and has broken free. She wouldn't be surprised if after this she really was put under a spell.

"I suppose I can indulged you to some chocolate." Blaise finally looked over with a grin. "But you owe me."

"How badly?" She questioned, his grin was infectious. She couldn't help but smile now.

"Admit that you were wrong, because I have a girlfriend." Blaise stood up proudly.

But Crystal narrowed her eyes and looked over at the Slytherin sitting there. "You mean him? Why Zabini, I didn't know he was your type. Good job mate." She patted him on the back with her famous smirk.

"Shut it, Nott." The Slytherin growled.

"It's fine Dault, she's always like this." Blaise laughed at his friend who was sitting up glaring at Crystal. "Come on my fair lady, let's go." He held out his hand and waited for her to take it. She gave one more sight before letting him lead her around the village. It wasn't the day she was expecting but she had fun none the less. Blaise knew how to make her forget her troubles almost at once. But the day was ruined when word got out that Katie Bell ended up being cursed somehow. Blaise didn't seem bothered by it at all. Neither did the other Slytherin's that were around her. She was troubled by it. She couldn't imagine why Katie would have been cursed. She had to get away from the group fast. She decided to tell them that she was feeling extremely exhausted and headed back up to the castle. Crystal headed straight for the Gryffindor common room, where everyone seemed to be extremely somber about the news. She looked around with sad eyes as well. She didn't really know Katie that well, but it was still hurtful to know that one of her housemates was hurt. She ended up sitting by the fire, not even talking to Neville at all. The two of them sat in silence, until late into the evening. They were interrupted in their silence when Harry came right up to Crystal and asked if he could talk to her. She looked at him puzzled but agreed none the less.

"What's up Harry?" Crystal asked with a smile as they stood alone in a far corner of the common room.

"I need to talk to you about Malfoy." Harry said right out, causing Crystal to frown.

"Why?" She asked quickly. She didn't like where this was going. Hermione had mentioned Harry had picked up a little thing for wanting to know where Malfoy was and what he was up too at all times, but she didn't think it would come back to her. She wasn't about to fuel the fire.

"I think he gave Katie that necklace that cursed her." He said flatly. She could tell he honestly meant it.

"But he—" She started but Harry's anger cut her off.

"I know he wasn't in Hogsmeade! I don't know how he did it, but he did." He snapped.

"Harry, let's be reasonable here." Crystal patted his arm attempting to be reassuring, but Harry was upset.

"I am being reasonable. How come no one believes me?" He grumbled.

Crystal sighed, "Okay so it was Draco, why would he do it." She said hoping that her words would throw him off.

"He's a Death Eater, what reason does he need?" Harry obviously had really thought about this.

Crystal bit her lip, unsure what to say to that. "Okay," She whispered. "He's a Death Eater." She rolled her eyes acting annoyed. But the truth was she was more than annoyed. Harry was accusing Draco of being one of the bad guys. Draco would not harm anyone, would he?

"You aren't denying it then?" He raised an eyebrow. He hoped he was right. It sounded so right in his head. There was no way Draco wasn't a Death Eater. He followed perfectly in his father's footsteps and if Crystal would admit that he was one, then that's all the proof he really needed. Draco was a bad guy and didn't care who he hurt, why couldn't Crystal see this? Or was Crystal really on the bad side? He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Harry, I'm not saying anything. I'm going to bed." Crystal threw him a sharp glare and started to walk away, but Harry stopped her.

"That's it then? You are too. You support Malfoy and Voldemort in everything, don't you?" He snarled, hitting a nerve of Crystal's at once. She turned around so quickly, with a fierce glare. "You just about cured Katie yourself."

Crystal lost her temper, she slapped Harry across the face. "I am not a Death Eater." She spat and ran out of the common room. She couldn't believe what he said. Why would she be a Death Eater? That was the last thing she wanted. So she loved Draco, did that really make her as bad as the other Death Eaters?


	10. Chapter 10: Goodbyes

**Chapter 10: There would be no goodbye.**

**A/N: It's kinda nice, I have a break in between classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:15 to 12:30 and I'm too lazy to go back to my apartment, so I sit on campus and write a chapter. Thus why we are getting one every week it seems, lucky us right? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>"<em>Crystal, go check on the prisoner for tonight's meeting." Voldemort didn't even knock as he burst into her room. She had been sitting there surrounding by papers, attempting to help Fred and George with their latest invention. It was the perfect time for her to be working too. There was a ball last night so she was able to sleep in and relax before tonight. Tonight was when Voldemort would give his weekly speech on why mudbloods and muggles are awful and spot of dirt in the pure world of Wizards. She was looking forward to it about as much as Thresals love fruit. <em>

"_Yes, of course," She responded despite her displeasure. She knew tonight's prisoner was a muggle or a mudblood. If she was lucky it would be a muggle. She never had to deal with the prisoners so why would Voldemort as her now? She didn't question out loud, rather she followed Voldemort all the way down to the dungeon. He threw her in almost at once. With caution she headed down into the dim lighting. The sight down their made her nose wrinkle in disgust. There was food bones scattered on the floor and in the corner a shivering female. Crystal ran forward at once, not sure what she was supposed to be doing. Her eyes stared right at the girl. Her pale skin practically glowed in the dim light, and her mangled black hair hung lifelessly around her face. She looked hopeless. _

_The girls eyes fluttered open at the sound of clanking heels upon the stone cold floor. Her dark eyes met with Crystal's startling blue ones. "What do you want?" She snapped in a weak voice. Surely the girl was here to torture her more._

"_I…I…Sorry," Crystal shuttered. She was shocked at the hate that was laced upon the prisoner's voice. She wasn't expecting it. She had never heard hate like that before or at least had it directed at her._

"_You," The prisoner said suddenly and pointed her boney and frail finger at Crystal. "You're Crystal Nott, Harry Potter's friend." Her hands found its way around Crystal's wrist. "It's true then, they are holding you here? You are being forced to marry Malfoy?"_

_Crystal felt tears began to swell. A lump was forming in her throat. It was all she could do was swallow. Is that really what everyone believed right now? She was Harry Potter's friend…had everyone heard about what happened in the ministry? "Yes," She finally said softly in a weak voice. _

"_You poor thing," The prisoner shook her head. "We are proud of you, in the Wizarding community. Such bravery you hold." She gave Crystal's hand a tight squeeze before pulling away and taking the time to lean up against the wall. "I'm Janette Stuedemann, a muggle-born."_

"_I'm extremely sorry, I wish I could do something for you." Crystal muttered and shook her head as a tear finally escaped the corner of her eyes._

"_I don't blame you. If you tried to save me, you'd be murdered wouldn't you?" She said softly as her eyes traced the kindness that was coming from Crystal. "The most I can ask of you is to tell my family I loved them."_

"_I—Of course." Crystal reached out and grabbed Janette's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm sorry I am not some hero." _

"_You are though, we all know you are fighting and when your moment comes you will shine." Janette smiled weakly. "Now go before you get in trouble." She urged Crystal forward with a gentle push. _

_She didn't think twice, she gave one more tiny sob and walked out of the dungeon with her head held high. She acted like nothing happened. She waltz right into the dining room where Voldemort was waiting with a report. She kept her voice as even as she could, "The prisoner is still alive." She said hoping that this information is enough._

"_Good," Voldemort smiled deviously. "When the time comes tonight, I want you to bring her to the garden for the meeting. It will be such a lovely evening for a killing, don't you think?" He questioned as he looked up from his papers straight into Crystal's eyes._

_When his blood red eyes locked with her blue eyes, she felt her stomach drop. Something told her to be afraid. She felt bile attempting to make its way up, but she wasn't going to lose. She would be brave. "Most certainly m' Lord," Crystal said with a bow. _

"_You may go," he commanded and she left in a hurry._

_She didn't want to wait around for anymore sickening commands. She ran all the way to the top floor of Malfoy manor where her bedroom was. Her feet took her all the way to the bathroom were she emptied the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. She felt week and shaken up inside. They were going to kill that poor innocent woman just because she was a muggle-born. Her body started to shake as she sunk down to the floor. The woman might as well have been Hermione or any other muggle-born she knew. This was horrible…how was she still in this mess? She wasn't some hero like everyone wanted to believe. She was here because she was a coward. How could she leave now? No she was here to attempt to salvage what she had with Draco. Those were real feelings right? She wasn't just doing this for her father. _

_Crystal laid there for hours letting her thoughts wander. She just wanted to escape, get away from this all, but she didn't bother moving a muscle. She laid there as the sun started to drift behind the horizon, in its wake the moon began to rise as stars streaked across the sky. Her bathroom was dim, the stars and moon where the only thing lighting her weak body. _

"_Crystal," Draco's happy voice filled her. She slowly lifted her head off of the cold marble floor and look towards the door. Her eyes adjusted ever so slightly and focused on the door through the moonlight. _

"_Yeah," She responded in a harsh voice. _

"_It's time," He said swiftly. She could hear him walk away. There were no other warnings. She had to retrieve the prisoner. It took her some time to lift her body, once she was finally up she opened her closet and grabbed the first black dress she saw, threw on her cloak, and headed down to the dungeon. She swallowed hard and opened the door, calling Janette forward. With a quick hand squeeze, as an apology, she walked forward holding a knife threateningly at Janette. She knew that Janette wouldn't escape, there was no point, she just didn't want to look like she was trusting. Voldemort would be holding the knife and a wand up to at least her jugular. But Crystal was too soft, this wasn't her life. _

_She tried not to sigh as she arrived to the inner circle. Voldemort took the prisoner at once and used his wand to produce bindings on her hands, legs, and mouth. He flicked his wand once more as she was hanging from the air upside down as if from an invisible rope. She never flinched once. She was holding her head high the whole time. She knew what was coming. Voldemort started his speech, after he had Crystal stand in her rightful spot next to Draco. She didn't listen to anything his speech was saying. She kept her eyes locked with Janette's. She had trouble controlling her body, but she wanted to send some sort of comfort through the dark words that were being spoken. She drowned them out, until her name was called out._

"_M' Lord," She responded not a moment too late. Voldemort's patience's was thin tonight._

"_Come forward, I would like you to help me." He smiled, but she knew that smile meant nothing but trouble. She returned the smile as weakly as she could. She knew she wasn't fooling anyone. Crystal would rather be anywhere but here. Regardless she walked right up to Voldemort where he proceeded to grab her and stand her directly in front of Janette with her back to him. "Wand," He commanded. She didn't question and reached into her robe, grabbing her wand and holding it lightly. He reached around her and held her wand hand with her. "I will let you experience the thrill of torturing filth." _

"_Of course M' Lord," Her lips said it without it even registering in her brain. She wasn't sure what was going on. Her eyes moved to Janette's, now it was her searching for comfort. Her hand was swishing in a movement she was used to seeing used against her._

"_Crucio!" Voldemort said loudly in her ear. Her wand cast the familiar light and cast dark eerie pain onto Janette. Crystal's eyes hardened as her hand attempted to break free from Voldemort's. But she couldn't, his grip and will was strong. She was torturing a fellow wizard._

She threw another desk into the wall before her body finally collapsed. The sun was starting to rise. She had destroyed the whole classroom and then some. She had repaired it and put it back in order at least three times with her wand. She wanted to destroy everything. How dare Harry Potter accuse her of being a Death Eater? She was not a Death Eater. She had done some dark things…no, no more memories. She didn't want to think anymore. She had been in here since Harry accused her, it had been a long evening.

Crystal's body finally gave way as the sun peaked through the mountains that surrounded the castle and filled the empty, but destroyed classroom with light. She nearly hissed at how bright the light seemed to be. She didn't want the light, she wanted it to be dark. It all seemed so bright, so painful. She laid down and closed her eyes, wanting to block it out, but Janette's face floated in and out of her mind. The screams filled her ears. She couldn't get rid of them. Sobbing, she curled up into a ball and let everything consume her. She couldn't fight it anymore. She cried and cried, until her eyes fluttered shut and she was in a deep sleep.

When she finally woke up, she found that she was not in the destroyed classroom anymore. Her body was situated on a soft warm bed. She opened her eyes and looked around. The curtains around her were Slytherin. She was in a Slytherin bed…

"Draco?" She said softly. At once she heard shifted and the curtains peaked open. Draco looked disheveled and exhausted. He stood over her, taking in her appearance before he sat down next to her on the bed.

"What happened? Theodore said the mudblood had come over asking if any of us had seen you. Apparently you've been missing since last night." Draco reached out and tucked a lose piece of hair behind her ear.

"_Don't _call her that." Crystal snapped with venom. Her eyes automatically narrowed at his words. She didn't believe in mudbloods anymore than she did nargals.

"Sorry," Draco apologized with concerned eyes. After Theodore had asked Draco if he had seen her around 7 at night, he thought he better look for her. The first place he thought of was the classroom they always went too. And he was right to look there. She had completely ripped it up. There was nothing left in order. If he had to bet, he would bet that it wasn't about the article posted in the Witch magazine. Though that cover picture of Neville reaching out to push a tear off of her cheek boiled his blood. That blood traitor had no right to do that to her. No, that article barely caused any problems. He received a letter from her father this morning, next time she had to be more careful. It looked like to her father that she was telling Neville they couldn't be friends, not as the article thought, that they were torn lovers. He would let her father think whatever he wanted. "So what really happened?"

"Harry said I—" She started but cut herself off. She couldn't possibly tell Draco. He would laugh at her, tell her she was being foolish. She was going to be a Death Eater one day anyways. She should be thinking foolish thoughts. She shook her head and formed a lie. "Harry said that he was sorry he couldn't stop the reporters yesterday. He knows that I care for you deeply and he doesn't want me to get in trouble."

Draco studied her closely. That sounded like a lie if he ever heard one. "There was damage done, but nothing you and I can't fix the next Hogsmeade visit. I promise you I won't be in detention and we can go together." He reached out and held her hand, giving it a loving squeeze.

"Promise?" She asked with hopeful eyes. Spending a day with Draco would be just what she needed. He just had this way of making her feel happy and to be seen in public with him would really set things straight.

"Of course and a Malfoy keeps his promises." He smiled and then leaned into plant a tiny kiss upon her forehead. "But, I know you are lying." He added.

She let out a sigh. She thought for sure he would have bought that lie. Of course he wouldn't of, he can always see through her lies. "About what, Draco?" She asked innocently.

"That's not what Harry said. You weren't too worried about the reporters, were you?" He accused looking at her sharply.

Her eyes darted around, she didn't want to catch his cold grey eyes. She'd melt and tell him right away what was bothering her. Childishly she threw her head back onto his pillow and buried herself deep into the blankets.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Crystal Nott." He said clearly as he ripped the blankets off. He wore a scowl, but couldn't help but grin at her smile. She looked so happy. So at peace, right here with him. Not how she looked when she was alone in that classroom. When she was alone, she looked so scared, so upset, and so alone it was freighting. No, this was the Crystal he knew.

She stopped smiling suddenly though. Her lips creased into a scowl. "Harry said I was a Death Eater." She spilled finally.

Draco let out a soft sigh. "You know you will be, so why does it bother you so much?" He asked. Why couldn't she just accept the lives the live? Why did she have to be so difficult?

"Because I am not a killer," She stayed coldly.

Draco's face drained of color the minute the words were out of her mouth. Not a killer…his mind repeated. No, he couldn't think like that. He had to do this for this family. He had to protect them. It was his right as an honorable Malfoy. He had his duty to fulfill and he would. He would be everything Voldemort wanted. "It's not killing," He said the lines his father often repeated to him when he doubted. "It is purifying our race as Wizards."

Crystal wanted to punch him in the face. No, it was killing. No matter how you looked at it, getting rid of human beings whether they were wizards, muggles, muggle-born, it didn't matter it was all wrong. "Okay," She smiled with what appeared to be true happiness. "You are right, as usual Draco." She lied so easily. He bought this one. She had learned this façade the minute she had to torture Janette. She learned at that moment she had to stop being a little girl. She needed to be strong if she was going to be a spy. She wasn't going to be on the Dark Lord's side. She was going to be on the Order's side. And in order to do that, she had to act like she enjoyed every minute of every task the Dark Lord gave her.

"I know," Draco smiled proudly.

Crystal couldn't help but smirk. She wasn't going to lose now. If her friends didn't believe she was on their side, that was there problem. Slowly she leaned forward and pushed Draco down onto the bed. Still smirking she leaned in and planted a swift passionate kiss upon his lips. She pulled away ever so slightly letting their eyes lock before she leaned in and kissed even deeper. Her lips traced across his in fast passionate movements, but Draco was fighting it. He was feeling confused. This was not Crystal at all, what was she playing at, he thought with each kiss. He would admit it was good for a change. He was used to this kind of attention from girls, but not this sort of attention from Crystal. A part of him knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. He let their lips caress one another for what felt like hours, but really it was only mere moments. She finally deepened the kiss and slipped her tongue into his mouth. That's when Draco snapped. His thoughts clicked and he knew this was wrong. He pushed her off at once. She looked upset, but he could tell she was faking it. She sat there with her arms crossed and her face creased in annoyance, but her eyes were soft, they held that same sort of guilt and sorrow they usually held when she was completing a mission for the Dark Lord.

"What's wrong, Draco?" She asked softly as she reached out for his hand, as if inviting him back. But that was the last thing she wanted. She had made a blunder and she was trying to fix it. Draco couldn't know of her wavering for the Dark Lord. She knew that Draco was aware that she wanted nothing to do with it, but this summer she had managed to convince everyone that her memory loss had made her willing to do the Dark Lord's bidding. She somehow had played them all as fools and made them believe she wanted nothing more than to be a Death Eater. She knew deep in her heart, if she could convince Draco, who knew her best, she couldn't convince the Dark Lord of her loyalties. If she wanted to stay alive and close to the Dark Lord, her loyalties needed to look real.

"You are upset. You are doing this out of frustration." Draco stood up and smoothed out his shirt. He wanted nothing more than to get lost in her kisses again, that was more heavenly then he ever imagined, but he couldn't. She was not in her right mind. She was truly upset. The only other time she had thrown herself on him like that was when the Dark Lord had been watching her every move after she had tortured that Mud-blood. She was sharper then she appeared. She used Draco to let the Dark Lord believe she was on his side. Why she wanted that Draco wasn't sure…she had to have been up to something. Her mind had to have been figuring something out.

Crystal titled her head as if asking Draco to reconsider. When he didn't say anything she stood up as well. "Fine," She said calmly. "Maybe Neville was right." She turned her back to Draco, knowing how it would impact him more. "Maybe I shouldn't choose you. I should choose him." She turned her head so Draco could see her smirk and then she left.

"Fucking son of a merlin," She heard him growl as she escaped out of the dorm down into the dark Slytherin common room. When she made her way down the staircase she was greeted almost at once by her brother, who was looking at her in concern.

"I was just coming up to see how you were doing. Everything alright?" He asked with concern.

"Everything is fine." She said with a smile. "I just had some wavering confidence, is all." She said lightly.

"About what?" He asked as worry filled his eyes. Had she been worrying that Draco was really the right choice for her? Had the memories of him not been enough? She wants to leave him…that would be the end of it if she would.

She leaned into her brother and whispered into his ear. "Just if I was on the right side, but thanks to Draco I know I am." The smile that filled Theodore's face was more then she could hope for. He looked pleased at her response. They were playing right into her hands because they would never know how much she was on Harry's side.

"Good," Theodore smiled and patted his younger sister on the head.

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><p>When she finally made it to the Gryffindor common room Hermione had laid out the Witch magazine her and Neville had made an appearance in. She took it really well as she read it, laughing at everything it was suggesting. Hermione was glad she was taking it light-heartily. She had been worried about Crystal all day. She knew that the magazine was upsetting her and Harry's accusations had to have been weighing on her as well. Hermione knew Crystal would never dream of being a Death Eater. Harry was being really thick thinking that, something that was made extremely clear as they talked before bed that night.<p>

The days started to go by much quicker. Crystal still couldn't get Harry to be her friend again. He was still dead set that she was a Death Eater. She honestly didn't know what to do to set it straight. It was frustrating her so much too because she couldn't sit with Ron or Hermione at dinner without Harry snapping something awful at her. One evening when she had been doing her homework, she lost it she couldn't take Harrys attitude anymore. He wouldn't even let Hermione and her do homework together.

She had pulled out her wand and pointed it right at him. "So what if I am a Death Eater?" She spat venom at Harry, who didn't even flinch.

"I—"Harry was caught off guard, but only for a moment. His wand was taken out and pointed straight at her as well. The whole common room held their breaths and watched waiting for someone to make the first move. But no one was budging. "Then you are the scum of the earth." Harry said with a cold glare.

Crystal lowered her wand and lifted up the sleeve of her arms. "No dark mark." She pointed out holding her arms face up.

Harry stared at them with narrowed eyes. "That doesn't mean anything." He pointed out. She could still be a Death Eater and not be branded.

Crystal took a step forward and stood on her tippy toes so she was right in Harrys face. She could feel his deep shallow breaths mix with hers as his wand brushed her neck. "I am working for the Order. I make it my business to find out what I can. I want to bring the Dark Lord down. Don't you _ever _forget that I am working for Dumbledore, for you!" She said loudly.

Harry had to take a step back, he wasn't expecting her to be so passionate and clear.

"I want nothing to do with the Dark Lord, but if I convince you that I am working for him, then surely I can convince him." She whispered so only Harry could hear it. He nodded slowly and grabbed her hand. He didn't want them to be over heard any more than they already had. He pulled her out of the portrait hole into an empty secret passage way.

"Crystal," He said apathetically.

"I don't want your apology." Crystal said quickly as she reached out and rested her hand on his heart. "I know what it looks like to you guys. And I'm defending Draco…because I love him. Wouldn't you do that too?"

"I—I guess." Harry said thickly.

"For Ginny?" She looked at him in disbelief. She knew he would protect Ginny at any cost. He wouldn't admit his feelings for her, but she saw it. She saw it just as Hermione had. He was finally growing feelings for her, ones that Ginny had always dreamed of.

"What? That's—" He shuttered around for a bit before finally changing the subject. "He's still a Death Eater."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Crystal laughed. "He probably is. I really don't know. I went through hell this summer and I was pretty self-centered, to be honest."

"What do you mean?" Harry questioned, he was curious. Her summer was pretty hidden, other than what he read. He wanted to know what caused this change in her. She seemed so much more into everything she did. She had heart and soul. He had seen her cry, get angry, happy, every range of emotions she seemed to spill now.

"Nothing," She sighed. "I just saw more then I care to admit and the worst part was there was nothing I could do about it."

Harry watched her closely. She looked heavy as memories flashed through her mind. What could possibly be eating her up, he wondered. But he didn't want to press her. She would tell in due time. Her life wasn't as easy as it seems. He needs to remember that. He needed to remember that when the time comes, she would be great weapon to have. She said Voldemort favors her a lot, but why? Would Dumbledore know why? He would have to ask him next time he meet with him.

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><p><strong>AN: I have no idea...it just fit. And a bit of character devolpment I suppose one could say :)**


	11. Chapter 11: Running

**Chapter 11: It's not like running is an option **

**A/N: This chapter was so much fun to write, seriously. And thanks for the reviews, they always make me smile :)  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>As it turns out, Harry didn't have to wait long till his next meeting with Dumbledore. He was just about to enter the great hall for dinner with Ron and Hermione when Crystal approached him. It had been a long day, but he knew hers was even longer. Ever since Sunday she had been hanging out at the Slytherin table, where she would usually sit by Parkinson, Zabini, and her brother. Malfoy would only show up during dinner. That was the only time Harry saw her smile was when Malfoy was around. On occasion he would see her smile at something Zabini said, but that wasn't very often. She had seemed really bleak. Harry knew she was attempted to repair what had finally reached the Daily Prophet. The headline just this morning was 'Crystal Nott escaping from the spell that binds her'. The article went onto about how it seems that the Malfoy's and her own father were keeping her under a tight spell where she appeared to be in love with Draco. Eventually the article wrapped up saying that Harry and her were deeply in love and the picture that was taken in the Three Broomsticks was her confessing to Neville about the horrible spell she can't break. Every time Crystal and Harry saw each other after that article they would tease each other about it, but not this time. She walked straight up to him with a strange look in her eyes.<p>

"Hey," She said weakly at him. Her eyes looked more exhausted than usual. Something was eating her, but he couldn't tell what.

"Hey Crystal!" Ron responded happily, obvious that she was not talking to him. Hermione gave him a look but he didn't notice.

"What's wrong Crystal?" Hermione asked before Ron could say anything more damaging.

"Nothing," Crystal smiled, filling her eyes with happiness. She knew how to smile to make it look like nothing was wrong. She would have too. Everyone around her was starting to notice how drained she was. She was only getting drained because of the stupid rumors. She was not dating Harry and she was not under a spell. The only time she could laugh about it was when she was with Harry. "I just need to talk with my chosen one." She laughed, that was her nickname she had given him since the article.

"Ron and I were just leaving for dinner. Right, Ron?" Hermione grabbed Ron at once and before he could protest she dragged him to the Gryffindor table.

Crystal watched them go. She wanted nothing more than to join them at the table, but that was out of the question. Just mere minutes ago she was suffering a rather dull meal with Draco, when Dumbledore approached her. Everyone around her fell into a silent scowl when Dumbledore handed her a note. He told her to read it in private, and she left at once to read it. After that she waited for Harry to arrive. He had to be coming soon. She knew they went straight to the library after class, so it would only be a matter of time before they got what they needed and came here. And she was right, she had only been waiting for two minutes before they arrived.

"Dumbledore wants to see us in his office." She said finally after a decent silence had filled them. Her eyes weren't on Harry as she spoke. They had landed over by the familiar platinum blond figure, who was glaring right at them. Even from here she could see the jealousy in his eyes.

"What for?" Harry took his eyes away from the Gryffindor table and looked at Crystal in confusion.

She shook her head, "I have no idea. I wish I did, but he just handed me a note saying to grab you and head to his office." Crystal couldn't help it, her lips lifted up into a smirk as she turned away from the Slytherin table to look at him. "I think he could be very concern about us." She whispered quietly. "He knows I've been taking a love potion. He wants you and I to finally be together."

Harry couldn't help but laugh, "Must be it, what else would it be?"

"I hope nothing seriously." Crystal's smile fell as she grabbed on to Harry's arm. "Let's go," She said sternly. Harry couldn't object. He followed her all the way to Dumbledore's office, where she said the password and they walked right up to the door. Both of them were letting their hearts race. Harry wasn't expecting his next meeting with Dumbledore to be with Crystal. Since it was with Crystal he figured that it wasn't going to be about Voldemort at all.

Crystal on the other hand was just frantic. What possibly could Dumbledore want with the two of them? Did he honestly believe the article? No there was no way he could of. He's old, not senile.

"Please, take a seat." Dumbledore smiled at them and directed them to the two seats in front of him. The two nodded and took a seat, still feeling nervous. It really didn't matter to them whether they were sitting or standing, they still felt like this wasn't right. Dumbledore didn't pay any attention to their discomfort though. He was still smiling down at them through his half-moon spectacles. "I have asked you both to come here for an important reason." He stated. Neither Harry nor Crystal said anything, they were still waiting for him to give them a reason to why they were here. "There is a memory I would like you both to see."

Harry looked at Dumbledore with an odd expression before he turned to Crystal. What kind of memory could it be that they both needed to see it? Crystal on the other hand just looked dumbfounded. She wasn't expecting to be viewing a memory. She just nodded and let her usual stoic expression fill her face as they both followed Dumbledore to the pensive.

"This is a memory I acquired some time ago. The girl who gave it to me, thought it may be vital one day, I dare say she was right." He reached into his robe and opened a vial which he dumped into the pensive. They watched as the silver liquid leaked into the pensive, swirling in a beautiful pinkish blue. "The memory we are about to view is from Penny Auditore. She was a transfer student from Vience, Italy during Tom's 4th year at Hogwarts."

Crystal looked at Dumbledore confused, but before she could press on Harry was already leaning into the pensive. She felt she should do the same. Hesitantly, she leaned in and felt herself being pulled forward at once. All around her shapes were forming. She looked over at Harry, the only solid thing, who was raising his eyebrow at the scene before them. She turned away from him and looked forward. The room was very grim, but in front of them was the happiest person Crystal had ever seen. She had beautiful black hair with a brownish tint. Her eyes were a stunning blue, and she wore a strong smile upon her pale face. What struck Crystal the most was that everything about this girl looked just like her. It was as if she was looking into a mirror. Harry noticed it too, his eyes were looking at Crystal in her Gryffindor robes, to the girl with the cheerful dress and back. Their eyes met and they shrugged, turning their attention back to the girl. She was smoothing out her beautiful pink dress. It was extremely girly and happy, fitting of this girl. It had bows on the arms, front, and on the skirt. It was so bubbly.

They watched as she let out a dreamy shy at the mirror then turned to leave down the staircase. Harry and Crystal followed her at once.

"Slytherin," Crystal whispered noticing right away the dark familiar staircases as they headed down into the gloomy common room.

It had to have been early morning, and judging from the fact that the girl, Penny, was not in her school clothing it was a weekend. The sun was barely lighting through the black lake into the common room. Their eyes were still adjusting but they could tell from Penny's soft stride, she didn't want to alert anyone in the area. Unlucky for her, once they made it to the common room it was clear they weren't alone. In the corner was the sound of a scribble of quill on parchment. Penny's face scrunched up in annoyance. She stood there for a moment, noticing she wasn't discovered before she attempted to slip by through to the exit of the common room. She didn't get very far till the figure in the corner notice her.

"Miss Auditore, what are you doing up at this hour?" Penny's head snapped at once, it turned into a slight scowl, before it was laced with that happy smile once more. She turned from her spot right in front of the fireplace to the figure that was now standing away from his table.

"Tom Riddle," Harry muttered before Penny said anything.

"I couldn't sleep anymore, is that a problem Riddle?" Her smile looked truly genuine. If they hadn't of seen her scowl moments before they would have believed she was thrilled to see Riddle. Even he seemed to notice nothing wrong as she pranced towards him.

"I didn't think you were excited for the Hogsmeade visit today." He responded in a silky smooth voice, but Penny didn't seem impressed. Her facial expression had barely changed. She was still smiling at him as she twirled her dress ever so slightly.

She let the silence fill around them for a bit before she finally spoke. It was as if she didn't want to ruin the happiness around them. "I'm not going to Hogsmeade today." Finally her smile was dropped. Her face fell into a somber frown. "Professor Dippet told me last night that my father called for my presence tomorrow."

This raised interest with Riddle. His face turned into a wicked smile and his eyes poured with curiosity. "You have been going back home at least once a month, is everything alright?" He reached out and held her hand within his. His voice was filled with concern, but his eyes seemed to have a red glint in them, his reasons were completely selfish.

Penny let out a laugh, "Riddle we've been through this before." She pointed out as she pulled her hand out of his. He looked furious at her gesture, but he didn't say anything. He just watched her closely. "I don't need you to butter your words around me. We both know you don't care about me anymore then the giant squid." She crossed her arms over her chest and let the smile stay on her lips, despite her annoyance within her tone.

Riddle too smiled. He didn't seem as bothered. It was as if they had this conversation all the time. "I don't really think that's true anymore." His voice sounded like he meant it, but Penny's eyes were narrowed. It's like she knew he didn't.

"I don't think you believe that." She said simply. "And in all fairness, it's nothing to worry about. I am just important to my father." Penny shrugged as if it was nothing. "Anyways, I need to get going. Professor Dippet is expecting me at seven." She turned away from Riddle and started to head out of the common room. She made it decently far until Riddle grabbed her arm roughly and pulled him towards him.

"Penny," He said in a soft voice which contrasted his sharp grip on her. Penny gasped at once. Her eyes widened as she turned to face him. It was like he had never called her by her first name and this was the first time he ever had. It seemed to have sent a shock throughout her whole body. "I am concern about you." He said with a smile. It seemed like a true smile, but yet it didn't seem to fit on his face. It was like he was uncomfortable with it. He closed his eyes, it seemed like to them that he had said something wrong. Deep inside he seemed to be having an inner battle. When he opened his eyes his face seemed changed. "To be honest, I was hoping you would accompany me somewhere this summer."

"Ac-accompany you?" She questioned her voice shuttering ever so silently. She was clearly stunned by what he had said once again.

"Yes, if you would like. I know you would be a great asset to my—" He paused choosing his words carefully, "Quest in Albania." He finished.

Penny stared at him thoughtfully, but then something inside of her seemed to break. Her wrist broke away from Riddle's tight grip and she threw herself into his arms. Both Harry and Crystal were expecting him to throw her off, but he held her tightly looking slightly awkward. It was as if he had never had human contact like this.

"I wish I could," Penny whispered into his chest. "But there's no way." She shook her head and pushed Tom away. His eyes seemed to flash with anger. Obviously he wasn't expecting to be rejected, but she had managed too. "I'm sorry, I'm just—" She paused as tears openly streaked down her face. The once happy and seemingly bubbly girl had broken down.

Harry and Crystal turned to each other both feeling confused at what they just saw. But as they were staring at each other, the world started to blur. They were fading out of the pensive and back into Dumbledore's office. They stood there for a moment before Crystal turned to Dumbledore and broke the silent thoughts.

"Professor she…Penny…" She shook her head and looked at the plush carpet attempting to gather her words carefully.

"Looks incredibly like you, Miss Nott." Dumbledore finished with a knowing smile. "You also have her personality. The similarity between you two is uncanny." He filled in.

"Then that's why Voldemort has taken interest in Crystal." Harry, who had been standing there frozen, took a step forward and looked at Crystal with sadness. She turned away and didn't want to acknowledge it.

"No," Crystal muttered shaking her head. She had wondered over to the chair in front of Dumbeldore's desk and finally sunk in.

"I'm afraid so." Dumbledore looked down at her with concern. He smiled grimly at her.

"What ever happened to Penny?" Harry asked taking the open seat next to Crystal. "You don't think he cared for her?" He said with disgust. The idea of Voldemort loving was beyond him. It even baffled him how someone so cold and so evil could have loved someone that seemed so happy and carefree.

"Oh yes, I think he more than cared for her." Dumbledore said seriously. "I have more memories of Penny's to share with you, but alas that will be for another night." He looked at Harry then at Crystal who was still staring at the ground as if it were the most interesting thing ever. "The key thing to grasp tonight was that he trusted her enough to ask her to accompany him to Albania."

"If I may ask, what is so important in Albania, Professor?" Harry questioned, noticing Crystal slightly moved at this comment. It's like she was finally coming to her senses.

"Your guess is as good as mine, Harry. But we do know Voldemort has spent a bit of time there don't we?" Dumbledore smiled at Harry then turned to Crystal. She was sitting up straight and looked very composed compared to a mere moment ago. "Miss Nott, you look as if you want to go home."

"I do professor, but I can wait till Christmas break. It is two more months away." She smiled kindly. She wanted to go home because right now everything felt like it was built on lies. Voldemort only was interested in her because she looked like Penny and she even acted like her, but Crystal felt like that wasn't fully true. Penny was too happy. Crystal wasn't that happy and when she was it was a rare occurrence. What bothered her even more was that the odds of that were very slim in the first place, how could she really be like Penny? And how could Voldemort see that... Without Voldemort liking her she wouldn't be treated like royalty as she was now. It was all within her fate, wasn't it? And within her fate, her life was being controlled more then she would ever like. "Besides, going home right now might be deadly. My love for Harry hasn't gone unnoticed." Crystal turned to Harry as she acted out dramatically her love for him. Harry couldn't help but smile as well at her joke.

"Yes, that article in the Daily Prophet pulled my heart strings as well." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled upon the two. "But alas, it is getting late. You two should head out of to bed. Until next time," He gave them a small wave and put them on their way.

Both Harry and Crystal nodded and said goodnight to the Headmaster. They walked down into the corridor in silence, but once they were clear of the Headmasters office they broke into whispers. Their minds were filled with questions and the need to spill to each other.

"Why did Dumbledore what to share this with us? Obviously for you, it shows that the Dark Lord loved at once." Crystal pointed out and slowed down her walking pace. She didn't care if it was getting close to being after curfew. She wanted to drag this out and get the feelings out that were eating her up inside. Harry didn't seem to care either, he matched his pace perfectly to hers.

"I don't see how that is helpful to me." Harry whispered right back in response.

"Simple, you really are the chosen one aren't you? You will be the one to bring the Dark Lord down." She turned to Harry and looked at him in the eyes. It's what she wanted to believe at least. She didn't want him on the run forever. If anyone could bring Voldemort down it would be Harry, her heart could feel it.

"You really think I can?" Harry stopped walking too. Their eyes locked and he searched through them. It seemed to him that she truly meant her words. Harry couldn't help but smile, someone at least believed in him.

"I know you can. If anyone can, it will be you. Even if you need help from Ron and Hermione, you can do it. And if you can't I'll be helping you with everything I know." She said confidently as she reached out and gave Harry's hand a squeeze.

"Thanks, Crystal." Harry smiled warmly at her and started to walk again. "I just don't understand it though. If he really loved Penny, what happened to her? And how can this be vital information?" He questioned.

"I couldn't tell you what happened to Penny. I bet we will find out in due time, but what I can tell you is how this information can be used." Crystal bit her lip, her eyes were focused forward. She understood the moment the memory began to unfold. Once she saw Riddle interacting with Penny she knew. It was the same look the Dark Lord had given her the first time he laid eyes on her. When she had escaped from the manor and ran into him. That look of curiosity as he questioned her, it was no different than how he looked at Penny and she knew it. "Blaise told me something this summer. There is a reason why I hold on to Draco even though I remember nothing about him." She stopped walking and looked around the hallway, she did not want to be over heard. She didn't want to take any chances so she grabbed Harry and headed into a nearby secret passage way. She was glad it was dark in here she didn't want him to see her face. "I lost my memories because The Dark Lord tortured me. He was upset at me. I could see that in his eyes, but yet the whole time there was something else there. Obviously he was upset that I was fighting on your side and not his side, but he seemed afraid to torture me. He was even hesitant. According to Blaise though, it was Draco's words that made him stop. Usually he does not stop torturing until he is satisfied, whether the person is conscious or not."

Harry looked at her confused. It was hard to read her in the dark light, but he kept looking right at her. "What did Malfoy say? It had to have been something to make him stop."

"To be honest, it wasn't anything profound." Crystal leaned up against the wall and let out a long breath. "It just proved the Draco loved me enough to stand up to the Dark Lord and lie." She smiled weakly as Blaise's words filled her. "He said that Draco had told the Dark Lord that I was befriending you so that he could use me. My grand plan was to help the Dark Lord all along, so that when the time came you would love me and he could use me for the greater good."

"We both know that's not true." Harry couldn't help but smile. That was the biggest lie ever. She wasn't stringing Harry along, nor was she making him fall in love with her. She would never do that, they were just friends.

"And here's the thing, I would never let him use me to help destroy you." Crystal pointed out even if it didn't need to be. "But now it looks like you have a sword pointed at him."

"Because you look like Penny," Harry grinned, catching on to what she was getting at.

"Yes and as we see these memories, I can turn into her more and more." Her lips caught too, she was grinning as well. "When the time comes, maybe we can use me as a distraction."

"He wouldn't be willing to harm you, if he did really have feelings for her. We know his human weakness." Harry could almost hug her right now. But he made sure his hands remained at his sides. "If he still really has that weakness," He shook his head feeling disbelief fill him.

"I think he does. You haven't seen the way he looks at me. It's the same as when he looked with Penny." She looked away from Harry. It was starting to feel to be too much. Harry noticed it right away. She was beginning to look drained. It was as if it was starting to be too much for her. He couldn't help but reach out and cup her face in his hand.

"It's asking a lot, isn't it? I know you haven't been happy lately." He let out a sigh. "You aren't really happy with the Slytherin's. The only time I see you happy is with us, your fellow Gryffindor's." He kept his hand firmly on her face, noticing how cold it felt.

"I'm happy with Draco, but he hasn't been around." She confessed, but she knew Harry was right. She wasn't happy unless she was with her Gryffindor friends. It wasn't fair, she should be happy with her Slytherin friends, but she wasn't.

"Then why do you do it? Are you really that de—" Harry started but he seemed to go rigid mid-way through talking. He body felt stiff against Crystal. She watched as he fell forward to the ground as if put in a full body-bind curse.

"Harry?" She cried out and knelt down to see what was wrong. She pulled out her wand and was about to apply the counter-curse when her own wand flew out of her hands. She whirled around to see Pansy Parkinson standing there wearing a deep scowl.

"What in name of Merlin was that for?" Crystal stood up angrily and crossed her arms. She was facing Pansy with distaste, even as she stood hiding Harry's body. She didn't want her to inflict anymore damage on him.

"You're a fool," Pansy spat. "He was clearly about to kiss you. And we can't have that. The Dark Lord would have your neck." She said while twirling Crystal's wand in her hand.

Crystal could almost punch her for those words and for the fact that she was touching her wand. "He was not. We are merely just friends. Now if you would be so kind give me my wand back." Crystal said angrily while inch forward to Pansy.

Pansy wasn't moving though. She was still wearing a scowl. "I think not." She responded and walked over to Crystal grabbing her roughly. "You are coming with me. Not only is it after curfew, but you are also with scum. Come along, you need to learn a lesson." She cooed as she tugged Crystal down the corridor.

All Crystal wanted to do was scream, but Pansy was holding her tightly and kept throwing threatening glances at her. Every so often she would give her a look that would say she knew what was best. Crystal just kept her mouth shut and let Pansy believe she was in charge. She let her pull her all the way into the Slytherin common room. From there it went downhill. Pansy grabbed Crystal and shoved her right into Theodore's arms, who looked baffled. He didn't say anything because Pansy handed Crystal's wand to Blaise, causing even more suspiscion.

"I found her out in a corridor, alone with Potter." She spat looking between Theodore and Blaise. The words she said obviously had the affected she wanted. Theodore's face contorted in anger, as Blaise's grip on Crystal's wand tightened.

"Is this true?" Theodore turned to his sister looking at her as if she had a disease. He had a hard enough time watching her leave dinner with Harry this afternoon, but for them to be alone together probably snogging behind Draco's back, that was sickening. He was hoping it wasn't true, but the annoyance on Crystal's face told him otherwise. She looked livid.

"Believe what you want." She said simply, the anger seemed to disappear. She looked completely composed. Let them chew on that, the thought as she exchanged smiles to everyone.

"So you aren't denying that you were snogging him?" Theodore looked at her with even more surprise.

"I wasn't snogging." She rolled her eyes and looked from her brother over to Blaise. Blaise would surely back her up wouldn't he? "I wouldn't dream of it and you know it." But Blaise said nothing. He just kept gripping her wand tightly and staring beyond her.

"Please," Pansy looked at her in disbelief. "If I wouldn't have jumped in you would have been all over Potter."

Crystal tried not to narrow her eyes, but she was getting dangerously close to smack Pansy across the face. How did she keep getting herself into these situations? She loved Draco, couldn't anyone see that? Did she have to spell it out for them? They truly were dense. She was just friends with Harry and Neville. There really was no romance. Not as far as she could see. She thought she loved Draco….thought. Her heart began to crack. Was this love really fake? No, she loved him. He stood up for her. He was kind too her. He believed in her. If he was here he would stand up for her.

Blaise looked at Crystal, he attempted to read her, but she was just smiling as her right eye twitched. It didn't seem normal for her. She was really upset. This wasn't right. He grabbed Pansy and pulled her away from Crystal, then handed Crystal her wand. "I know you didn't do anything, just remember whose side you are on. Just because you are in Gryffindor doesn't mean you belong there. You belong with us." He said clearly and walked away, leaving everyone blinking in disbelief.


	12. Chapter 12: Dark

**Chapter 12: And the bright light turns to dark.**

**A/N: I didn't end up writing a chapter last week, sorry about that. I was feeling a little bit sick. So here's a chapter this week. On a side note, thank you for the wonderful reviews and patients. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (I always want to type Hairy).**

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><p>"Crystal, we need a word." She had been waiting for those words all day. They finally arrived at dinner. She was sitting there enjoying Neville's company when Draco finally put a cold hand on her shoulder. She didn't cringe or even turn towards him. She kept looking at Neville with a slightly pained expression, till she finally forced a smile out.<p>

"Well go ahead." Crystal urged him on. Finally she turned her head slightly to look at him.

He let out a sigh as his eyes traced her unreadable face. He could almost curse all those lessons they had to take as children. He wanted to know whether Pansy was telling the truth, but Crystal's face was so impassive. There was nothing upon her face to give her away. He tried not to let another sigh shake through his body. He knew how much stronger she was around her friends. She could lie about almost anything around them. He wanted to get her alone so he could find out the truth, but he had a feeling she was going to be difficult. "I meant alone, dearest." Draco threw on his best smile as his hand gripped tighter on her shoulder.

"Neville will promise not to listen." Crystal smirked letting Draco see it fully before she turned to Neville. She gave him a serious look as he mashed his potatoes even farther. "Isn't that right Nevs?"

Neville swallowed hard, but didn't stop mashing his potatoes. "No, of course I—I mean yeah, I won't be listening." He said stumbling around under the glare Draco was giving.

"There you have it." Crystal smiled warmly and patted the open seat next to her.

Draco reluctantly sat down, but he didn't see a way around this. Half of the things he had planned on saying were out the window. There is no way he could speak these things around all these noisy Gryffindor's and especially not that buffoon Longbottom. "Crystal, I am just worried about you, you know that right?" He started off soft, keeping his eyes directed on her even if she wouldn't look at him.

"Yes, I know that." She responded and then picked up her goblet and began drinking away. She was staring at the cup with the utmost interest. She didn't want to look at Draco no matter what. Crystal knew exactly what this was about and that didn't make her feel any better. Last night was complete and utter rubbish. It took many hours of Hermione attempting to calm her down before she finally did fall asleep. She felt horrid over what had happened and everything she had seen in the pensive.

"Then you will understand why I am here, love." He reached out and put his hand on her thigh. She didn't even acknowledge the gesture. She was too busy pretending the goblet was fascinating. "When Pansy tells me you are in the hallway snogging Potter—" He paused as Longbottom began choking on his food. He couldn't help but throw a glare at him. Crystal finally set down her goblet and looked at him with annoyance. "It is believable you know. The two of you went to Dumbledore's office—"

Crystal cut him off, "It's no more believable then a Crumple-Horned Snorkack." She growled and crossed her arms over her chest. She honestly couldn't believe that he was doing this. Was everyone against her? "You of all people should know that."

"I—Crystal think about this for a moment, the two of you are really close friends and Pansy wouldn't lie to me." He said defensively, but he could tell his words weren't doing him any good. Crystal still looked livid.

"She honestly doesn't know what she saw and if you believe _her _word over mine, then I don't see how this is going to work." Crystal roughly grabbed his hand and threw it off her lap. She stood up in one quick motion and threw her hair behind her. "I will have you know, _Potter _and I had detention with Professor Dumbledore last night. He was giving me an apology that he owed me." She snapped and walked out of the great hall briskly.

Draco sat there stunned for a moment before he ran after her. She was walking incredibly fast, she was truly upset. Draco felt a little sorry, but he was still standing by his words. If Pansy saw that, it had to have been true. Crystal was a great lair, Pansy is not. Plus it's not like Crystal wanted this life. He couldn't help but feel she would be happier with Potter. "Crystal," He called loudly as heads turned in the great hall. Everyone was following the two with their eyes. But Crystal ignored them and she ignored Draco as she began to walk faster. As soon as she was out into the entrance hall she let her feet brake out into a run. Her feet took her well close to the Gryffindor common room before Draco had her wrist tightly in his hand. He wouldn't let her go any farther. His eyes were narrowed, he was just as upset as her.

"I said what I needed to say." Crystal said as she attempted to wriggle away.

"You merely said just enough. You have not explained your behavior or why you were in a detention." He stood up tall and grabbed on even tighter to her wrist. She was going to explain, he had to know what was going on in her mind. Now would be the best chance with no friends around her.

"I think even if I told you why I was in detention you wouldn't believe me." Time, she had to dance around time. She knew that was her only way to get him to believe. But that didn't change much. She was furious at him. How could he believe Pansy over her? Maybe they weren't meant to be together after all. She should have ran when she first laid eyes on Draco and she didn't know who she was. Crystal let her free hand clench into a fist. She was lying to herself. She didn't love Draco. She was just feeling guilty this whole time. It wasn't her fault she forgot her memories. She shouldn't have to force herself upon him like everyone wanted. She didn't have to listen to anyone but herself.

"Try me," Draco narrowed his eyes. This whole situation was ridiculous. He wanted to get back to the room of requirement, get back to work, and away from here. But she should always come first.

"Harry and I got into a duel several nights ago." Crystal finally managed to rip her wrist away from Draco's tight grasped. She crossed her arms over her chest and gingerly rubbed the bruise that was starting to form. "He—he yelled at me. He called me a Death Eater because I stood up for you." She felt tears beginning to trickle down her face. She stood up for someone who can't believe her. She shouldn't have to be explaining herself nor lying.

"What?" Draco took a step backwards. Her words caught him by surprise. Why would Potter even do that to her? She was far from a Death Eater. Draco's heart felt heavy, he really didn't belong with her. She stood up for him. She always believed in him and did he? No he accused her of snogging Potter at first wind of it, from Pansy none the less. He felt so small at this moment. Crystal was right, they don't belong together.

"Yeah, the duel was so bad Hermione had to get Professor McGonagall. She of course had to tell Dumbledore." She couldn't look at Draco anymore. She was lying and she knew it. She had to look down at her feet as tears streaked down her cheeks. She watched as each one fell to the floor. "We spent two hours in his office talking. The whole time he tried to get Harry and I to apologize. We never did, so we will have to keep meeting. When Pansy saw us Harry and I were—We were, well, attempting to apologize to each other. He was genuinely sorry for what happened."

"That's it then," Draco looked at her solemnly. His hand began to shake, he tried to ignore it, but it was painfully obvious as he began to reach out and touch her face. She was so warm, he felt so cold. Fire and ice, they were opposites. "Thank you," He whispered as he leaned forward and planted a tiny kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for standing up for me."

"That's what couples do right?" She smiled weakly as she rested her face against his cold hand.

"It is, but we aren't a couple are we? We are forced into this silly game that our parents decide." Draco pulled his shaking hand away and looked at the floor. His eyes couldn't help but stare at the tiny tear drops that had wet the floor. His eyes focused solitary on the pain he had caused her.

"Drac—" Crystal started, but Draco put a finger upon her lips.

"No, listen," he said in a whisper. "None of this is ours, we are forced to do these things and I'm not sure I can keep doing them. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. Our tasks—it's like we are meant to fail."

"We don't have too! I can help you. We are in this together." Crystal pulled his hand away and held onto it tightly.

"Crystal, we aren't. You never were in this from the start. Let me work on my mission, just forget about me." He pleaded and pulled his hand away. "You aren't meant to be a Death Eater, you are meant to be a member of the Order." He gave her one last fleeting look before he walked off, heading for the dungeons.

Crystal stared where his figure was just moments ago. Her eyes blurred in and out of focus as tears formed around the corners of her eyes. She couldn't believe what was happening. It took her several moments before she could finally move. Her body move sluggishly and it took her some time, despite how close she was, to get to the common room. When she finally made it there she headed straight for the dorm. She headed straight into the shower. She didn't care if she took one this morning. She wanted nothing more than to let the scolding hot water to burn her and wash away everything. Today left more than just a bitter taste in her mouth, she felt cold and above all scared. Why hadn't her memories come back yet? They should be flooding in shouldn't they? If they were surely they wouldn't be in this mess. She'd be able to handle all the news given to her, but right now she couldn't handle it. Everything was beginning to be too much.

Somehow she managed through the night. Even greater still, she somehow managed to make it through the next several weeks. The first Qudditch match of the season even went by in a breeze. Though that wasn't a blessing at all, no that was more of a curse. It brought tension throughout several people. First off Hermione was flaming mad at Ron, which rightfully so. Second off Hermione would glare at Crystal for even talking to Ron, but that wasn't that bad. She was against Ron's new 'relationship' all together. No the hard part was not talking to Lavender. Crystal was rather fond of her and her friendship, but as of right now Hermione's need was greater. She couldn't help but wish that this would blow over soon, much like the cold weather of November, but she doubted it would. Things were looking drab for her favorite trio of friends and there was nothing to do about it. Her situation wasn't much better though. Draco had disappeared and seemed to be emerging himself in only one mission. He was leaving Crystal alone for good and breaking her heart in the process. She felt that she really did care for him, but as the days go by she was beginning to wonder if she really did. It felt like everything was falling apart around her. She did everything she could to focus on homework and the information that Dumbledore had given her and Harry, Penny. It wasn't easy, but she was focusing on it more and more. She was waiting for another summon. She wanted to know more.

She had been sitting in front of the fire for a while now, scribbling notes and re-calling the memory when a voice broke her thoughts.

"Where did Hermione go?" Harry sat down next to her and looked around, but Hermione was nowhere in sight.

Crystal let out a cold laugh, "It's a little loud in here if you know what I mean. I reckon she went to the dorm to finish her Potions essay." She looked right over to Ron and Lavender who were locked together in a tight formation. She let a scowl trace her lips before she looked back over at Harry.

"Oh," He said giving a knowing nod. "I forgot about that essay for Slughorn." He said truthfully.

"And you call yourself Slughorn's favorite." Crystal laughed and gave Harry a nudge. "It's easy, I'll let you borrow mine for some inspiration if you promise not to tell Hermione."

Harry laughed, "No it's fine. I've started it, got my name on it and everything." He smiled once more before glancing down at the papers before Crystal, "Is this your essay?" He questioned.

"No, I'm—" She leaned in closely, "Thinking about Penny. I was attempted to gather my thoughts on what Hermione researched from the library and what Dumbledore told us."

"I wish we knew more. Other than what her personality and what it was like then." Harry shook his head and grabbed the nearest paper. He let his eyes trace across it and read what he could.

"Or what happened to her?" Crystal sighed and stretched out. "It had to have been something."

"You don't think sh—" Harry started, but his words were cut off. Seamus was standing in front of them with a knit eyebrow.

"Professor Dumbledore wanted to see you two in his office." He said as his eyes traced back and forth between the two.

Both of their eyes lit up, "When?" They said at the same time, causing a blush to form on Crystal's cheeks.

"Now," Seamus said and left.

"A little too convenient," Harry grinned while Crystal grabbed her papers.

"I would say so, but let's not question." She stood up and tucked the papers into her bag. She grabbed it and slung it across her shoulder. "Let's go," She smiled. Together the two walked quickly and excitedly to Dumbledore's office. They walked in a mutual silence, ready for what was to come. Dumbledore was already waiting with the pensive. They both sat down eagerly and waited for him to speak.

"Last time we met we set up that Tom had fallen for a young Penny." He said looking down upon the pair. "But today, we learn something just as valuable, are you ready?" He asked and both nodded.

He led them over to the pensive and let them dive right in. The scene they were brought to was another one with familiar surroundings. It was near the kitchens this time. Penny was leaning up against the wall and was clutching her side. Tears were streaking down her perfect face and she looked as if she was in pain. Both Harry and Crystal looked at each other than back to Penny. Her tears fell silently as she fidgeted with her vest. Her Slytherin uniform looked to be a mess, but she obviously didn't care. She finally collapsed onto the floor. Her body didn't seem to be able to support itself. At that moment, as she fell to the ground, footsteps filled the corridor. She sat up slightly at the sound, but didn't get up. She moved herself perfectly to look as if she dropped something. Just in time too, the figure was finally upon her. She had her back to him, but it was as if she already knew who it was. Her body seemed to tense and the cries that her body was releasing completely stopped.

"Penny?" Tom's voice ran softly through the empty corridor. "Is everything alright?" He approached her quickly. Soon he was bending over her and holding her hand. To Harry and Crystal it seemed awkward. It seemed almost too human, but Penny didn't seem to notice that. She was attempting to sneak away. Her eyes were no longer wet, but they were puffy. It was obvious she had been crying, something Tom didn't ignore.

"Everything is quite alright." She smiled warmly, but her eyes half closed as if she was hiding a wince.

"I do not think that it is alright, Penny." Tom argued right back, but Penny was already pushing him away and attempting to stand. She swayed a little bit before she stood up right.

"See?" She smiled brightly at him, but he didn't return the smile. His hand, what seemed automatically, gripped her elbow and supported her.

"Penny, what is really troubling you? You didn't get back from Christmas break till a week after, then you went straight to the hospital wing, and just days after you are released I find you here on the floor." He stared at her sternly, but she didn't even flinch. Her smile was still deep upon her face.

"It was just a long day." She let out a dreamy sort of sigh and shook Tom's hand off. She twirled once before skipping along the corridor. She was a good actress. Crystal noticed it at once, her movements were a bit slower than last time they saw her, but the smile never left her face. The only way Crystal could tell she was still in pain was because of Penny's lip which was twitching in protest.

"I hardly think that is what is troubling you." Tom walked a little closer to her, but her feet were always one step ahead of him. It was as if she was attempting to get away from him. There wasn't the same level of respect between the two. That much was clear.

Penny turned around harshly. She stopped so suddenly it took Tom by surprised. Her eyes were narrowed and she looked furious. "Please Tom, could you just leave me alone?" She begged as her eyes darted to him and back down to the floor.

"You know I cannot do that. Not anymore." His voice was cold and harsh. It no longer held concern, nor what little traces of care they had heard before. She struck a nerve and it was obviously the wrong one.

"Fine," She growled and pulled out her wand. "You want to know what is troubling me?" She questioned as she shoved her wand into Tom's chest. "All these questions, if I wanted to tell you what is bothering me I would do so."

Tom threw her wand out of her hands. It fell with a loud clank. The silent night time corridor seemed to only focus on the two figures within its core. "Penny, love, I didn't mean to upset you." Tom threw on his best smile. He was attempting to charm her. Anyone could see that, except Penny. She seemed to melt at his smooth voice. That surprised Crystal, she thought for sure Penny would see through it.

"No, it is alright." Penny smiled warmly. "It is my entire fault. Shall we head back to the common room?" She suggested warmly, leaving all traces of anger gone.

"I reckon we should." Tom returned her smile and grabbed her arm. He noticed right away that she was not steady. Given the act she was displaying before, as of right now she seemed pretty feeble as she leaned up against Tom. He couldn't help but glance at her knowing deep down within his heart something was wrong with her, something that seemed to be very serious.

Harry and Crystal looked at each other in puzzlement. They started to follow Tom and Penny along, but they felt a tug. Their time in this memory was complete. They saw everything they needed to see, even if they didn't feel that way.

Once out of the memory the two of them made their way back to the seats they once occupied. Dumbledore fielded around for a bit longer before he sat across from them. His eyes were sparkling as he waited for them to say something.

"She was ill," Crystal pointed out feeling it was useless to do so.

"She was indeed," Dumbledore agreed with a somber smile.

"But with what, sir?" Harry questioned looking straight at Dumbledore for answers.

"Harry, your guess is as good as mine." Dumbledore looked at Harry then to Crystal. His eyes were no longer filled with life, they were filled with sadness instead. "She was cursed, by none other than Grindewald." Crystal gasped audibly and Harry just stared forward, waiting for more. "This is why she went to Hogwarts in the first place. Of course Tom was taken by her. The mysterious girl from Rome, the one without worries, the one who always smiled, but she wasn't always that way now was she? Tom was wearing her down bit by bit, along with her illness."

"She died then, eventually that is." Crystal pieced together. No wonder why they couldn't find much on her.

"She did," Dumbledore nodded slowly. "Tom blamed muggles of course, but he didn't know the whole story."

Crystal looked over at Harry, he nodded, "What is the full story, Professor?" He probed, knowing full well they probably wouldn't get the results they were hoping for.

"I thought you might ask that." Dumbledore smiled, "She died giving birth in a muggle hospital."

"Surely not—"Crystal stopped herself as her eyes widened. She swallowed loudly. "I mean, it wasn't the Dark Lord's child was it?"

"No, I can assure you it was not. Penny was a pureblood after all, you can fill in the blanks Crystal." Dumbledore turned towards her, but she wouldn't met his eyes.

"She was betrothed to someone else. Her father willingly gave her away even though she was ill." She guessed, and guessed right.

"Yes, Tom was not pleased by this, but he was busy with his attempt to take over the wizarding world. You see, Tom had not given up on her, but he respected how the pureblood's worked. She was betrothed to one of his loyal servants, someone you may know well enough." He kept his eyes right on Crystal and watched her closely. She was looking at him with knit eyebrows, but she waited patiently. "Braxton Baskerville," He said softly.

Crystal blinked several times and took a couple deep breaths before she was composed enough to speak. "My grandfather," She whispered in return.

"Yes, your grandmother was Penny Auditore. She gave birth to Lucy and Autumn Baskerville."

Crystal felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. It took Harry's hand upon hers to shake her lose. She finally was able to breathe normally. "I see, that explains why I never had a grandmother."

"I believe it explains a whole deal more." Dumbledore leaned forward with folded hands and stared right at her. "The moment you revealed your name, he knew you were a decedent of Penny. I am asking a great deal of you, but I hope you can use this to our advantage to help the Order."

"To help find out what was in Albania?" She questioned looking at Dumbledore then to Harry.

"Yes," Dumbledore smiled.

"Sir, do you believe this could help bring him down?" Harry was thinking heavily what could have been in Albania that was worth pointing out. Did Penny at one point hold that knowledge? Was it possible there was a horcrux he found there?

"I do, I feel it has everything to do with bringing him down." Dumbledore nodded and let the thoughts fill them. It was a lot for them to handle, but they would manage. They were the best hope for the wizarding world right now. He knew both Crystal and Harry could handle it. Surely Crystal could find out if it was a horcrux or not. He had faith in her.


	13. Chapter 13: Broken

**Chapter 13: Both of us broken, caught in a moment. **

**A/N: Ahhh so much homework. That is all…well and thanks for the reviews! Can't forget to say that. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Crystal was called to Dumbledore's office three more times. Each time was without Harry. She wishes Harry was there, but it wasn't necessary. These sessions of seeing Penny's memories were to try to get her character down as best as she could. After every meeting, even though Harry wasn't there she would head back to the common room and talk with Hermione and Harry regardless. And when Harry would go to bed, Hermione and her would talk endlessly about different gestures and speech Penny would use. She had only a short while to get it down before Christmas break. She wanted to make sure it was right. She had to help Harry out at all cost, even if this was exhausting.<p>

"Walk once more," Hermione demanded as she straightened Crystal's back even more. "You said she was extremely light on her feet."

"Easier said than done Hermione, you know I walk like a proper pureblood." Crystal sighed. "That means my back is as straight as it gets. It's walking without a care in the world that's getting to be too hard."

"I know you are under a lot of stress, but you need to get this down." Hermione gave Crystal a understanding look. It would be so much easier to couch her if she saw the memories herself. But she had to make do. Crystal was very descriptive as always, that was the best they could do.

Crystal threw herself dramatically unto the couch. "Break is next week." She sighed and rolled over to look at Hermione. The whole common room was empty. It was just the two of them and it was well past 1:30 in the morning. They had to get up for class in the morning, but neither of them cared. "This feels hopeless."

Hermione took a seat next to her on the floor and leaned up against the couch feeling just as exhausted. "I know, but you are getting better. I will give you that."

"Of course I am, those days of training weren't for nothing." Crystal rolled her eyes. "I know how to act, if I didn't I wouldn't be where I am today."

"That's what scares me. You are so good at acting it's hard to know when you are telling the truth." Hermione admitted.

"But you can tell? You know when I am being genuine?" Crystal looked at Hermione with wide eyes. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to think she had been faking this whole time. Hermione was the one person who could convince everyone otherwise too. She didn't want that. She was there friend no matter what anyone else thought.

"It's not easy you know, but after seeing your face so many times in the Daily Prophet I picked up little things." Hermione turned her head away from the fire and looked at Crystal, who moved over the couch. She sat right next to her and the two of them held hands smiling. "It's always your eyes that betray you. If I look in them I can tell whether you are telling the truth or not. Just the color and the way they look."

"It's always been my weak spot." Crystal admitted as she leaned up against Hermione. "You know, if my father saw this you'd be dead before you could cast a shield charm."

"I give you credit for being stronger than to cave in." Hermione gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Why? I wouldn't be the one to die." Crystal let out a laugh. "I was teasi—"

"I know you were, but it's a cruel joke." Hermione elbow her sharply. "I know you would protect me to the end."

"The bitter end of both of us," Crystal agreed. "Besides if you died I'm convinced that I wouldn't find anyone else that is smart enough for me. Who would I bounce ideas off of?"

"Harry would help," Hermione started the thought but cut herself off with a laugh. "No, you're right. You'd be extremely lonely."

"I know I would, no need to tell me." Crystal turned her head away from the fire and looked over at her best friend. "We should go to b—" But she cut herself off. Hermione had tears streaking down her face. She looked distraught and distant. Something was weighing heavy on her. Crystal couldn't help but to pull Hermione into a hug. "Hermione, what is it?" She asked quickly, holding her tightly.

"Oh Crystal," Hermione breathed a deep sigh. Air filled her lungs deeply as her body shook with pain and sorrow. "I am sorry, we are here for you. I'm just being foolish." She pushed away and shook her head, now feeling ashamed.

"No, you are not being foolish. Showing you have emotions is greater than you think." Crystal dug into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "What's troubling you?"

"Ro-Ron-Ronald." She sobbed out as she wiped her eyes. Her breathing seemed to pick up. Her body truly looked heavy with each breath she took. Tears streaked down and she dabbed them as best as she could, but she was too upset. "I just—"

"Shhhh," Crystal put a reassuring hand upon her shoulder. "I know, Hermione, I know." And she did. She had seen the way Hermione looked at him. She had to give it to her for being so strong. She never once witnessed her crying up until this point. She couldn't imagine how hard all of this had been on her. She kept it all insde and kept doing her homework.

"Crystal I just don't understand—" She let out a hiccup, "How you can keep doing this. You can easily go through not crying as your life is controlled. You do as your told and for what?" Hermione wanted to go on but Crystal cut her off.

"For you, for people like you Hermione," She beamed. "Muggle-borns deserve a chance too! I don't matter, if I can help you out and many others like you."

"You don't even care for Malfoy. I can tell, not anymore at least." Hermione's sobs had slowed down, but the tears were still slightly falling down her cheeks. Her hair had fallen out of her loose bun and was now sticking to her wet face. She looked completely disheveled.

"I did at one point though, didn't I?" Crystal smiled, "That counts for something."

"Yes, but you lost your memories." Hermione pointed out.

"This isn't about _me._ This is about _you." _Crystal reminded her. "What are you going to do about Ron? We both know you care for him. And we also know he's being rotten."

"Malfoy's been ignoring you for a couple of weeks now, does this mean he's on the market?" Hermione teased, letting a smile trace her lips. Crystal couldn't help but laugh.

"Sure, if you enjoy the cruciatas curse."

"You know me so well, Crystal." Hermione reached out and gave her friend one more hug. "Let's go to bed, its nearly two in the morning." She let go and stood up. Crystal followed, but she didn't want to go to bed. She wasn't tired. Tomorrow they were going to attempt to re-enact a scene within the great hall that Penny had done with Tom Riddle. Except instead of Tom Riddle she would attempt it with Draco, who had been avoiding her. Hopefully he would show up for breakfast. He usually did come to breakfast on Thursday mornings, but who knew if this day would be different. Hermione and Crystal had their fingers crossed. They wanted to try this as best as they could, even if Draco's reaction wouldn't be the same as Tom, she could attempt to mirror Penny's behavior in the morning as best as she could. Once she started doing that then for sure she would be able to gain some information during break.

Getting up in the morning wasn't the easiest. It also didn't help that Lavender was gushing to Parvati about Ron. That made Hermione's mood sour, the both tried to ignore it as they got ready. They even styled Crystal's hair like Penny's. They had to keep reminding themselves to stay happy. Together the two skipped happily with joy in their steps down to the great hall. They entered hand in hand as Crystal waltz right up to the Slytherin table. Hermione didn't let go till she was in front of Draco, just as Penny had done with her good muggle-born friend.

"I do hope to see you after class, Crystal." Hermione threw Crystal a sincere smile before leaning in and giving her a hug that Crystal returned.

"Hermione," Crystal titled her head as if Hermione was being silly. "Of course you will, bye!" She waved as Hermione headed out. She threw on the thickest smile she owned and sat down right next to Draco, who was wearing a deep scowl. She didn't even cringe at it. She kept smiling. Nothing would damper her mood.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't bring that filth near us." Draco growled as a couple of other Slytherin's agreed whole heartedly.

"Surely you don't mean that. She is quiet—" She started, not letting her smile fade at all.

Theodore cut her off at once. "What is wrong with you? You are acting like someone slipped you a cheering charm." He eyed her with distaste.

"Theodore," Crystal giggled lightly. "I'm perfectly fine."

"No you aren't." Draco snapped. "You aren't supposed to be here." He looked up from his breakfast of eggs, hash browns, and apple to throw her a glare.

"Mmmm, yeah I think I'll sit here and follow you all day." Crystal grinned and gave Draco's hand a tight squeeze.

"Crystal Beatrice No—" Draco started, but was cut off.

"She's right you know." Blaise piped up.

"She is not right about anything." Draco said defensively. "I am working on a mission and she will interfere with it." He said a bit louder than he meant too.

"I want to help you as much as I can, Draco." Crystal patted his arm warmly, but mid-pat she seemed to freeze. Her vision began to blur. Everything seemed to narrow and turn dark around her. She grabbed on to Draco tightly, looking up with wide eyes. She didn't feel right.

Draco noticed right away something wasn't right. The minute she grasped his arm, he knew. Her grip was so tight and seemed to be filled with fear. "Crystal?" He said quickly. Draco stood up attempted to support her. Theodore moved as well. They all were up looking at her in concern. But before they could do anything she fell straight into Draco's arms blacking out.

"Blaise, go get a profess—" Draco started, but realized there was no need. The great hall had turned to the odd spectacle at Pansy's high pitch squeal. His eyes traced all the way up to where the Professors were seated. Several were already heading straight for them, pushing noisy students out of the way. Professor Snape was the first one to arrive. His face looked dark and almost saddened by what he was looking at. He flicked his wand at once and lifted Crystal straight out of Draco's arms. He let her float there for a moment longer as he summoned a stretcher. Once she was settled on the stretcher Dumbledore and McGonagall had made their way over.

"Severus, if you wouldn't mind taking her to the Hospital Wing. I am sure Poppy is already up there. We have had a strong 'bout of the flu lately, no doubt she is read." Dumbledore acted quickly as the students craned their neck to see what was going on.

Snape didn't say a single word. He quickly flicked his wand once more and began to walk briskly out of the Great Hall, completely ignoring all the eyes and heads. His face was completely void the whole time he walked, but for how fast he was going it seemed he was bothered by something.

Once he had left the Great Hall, Dumbledore turned upon the Slytherin's in front of him. "If I may, what happened?" He questioned gently, his eyes searching every single one. At first no one moved. They all seemed to be shocked at what just happened and didn't know what to say.

It was Blaise who spoke first. "We were merely talking and she—" He paused looking at Draco, then closed his eyes. He took a breath then spoke again. "She went sort of pale, grabbed right onto Draco and just fell over."

"Thank you Mr. Zabini." Dumbledore nodded and turned to McGonagall. "I trust you will write her father?"

"Of course," McGonagall answered quickly and walked out heading for the Owlery.

Dumbledore turned once more to the Slyhterin's. They all were still looking stunned. Many of them had gained their composure though. Draco was still pale. Though he had been looking very pale as of lately, so this was of no surprise. "I suggest you carry on with your regular classes." He turned then to Theodore. "I will have Professor Snape contact you with any news." And with that Dumbledore gave them one last smile and left, no doubt heading for the Hospital Wing himself.

After he was well out of ear shot, Theodore spoke. "Yes, like I can easily carry on with my classes when my sister is half dead in the Hospital Wing." He scowled angrily.

"I'm sure she will be fine." Draco let out a sigh, his eyes still focused on the doors of the Great Hall. He felt more miserable than he had in the last couple of months. He knew this wasn't his fault, but it felt like he could have done more. He always feels like he could have done more for her.

"Oh shut up." Theodore snapped. He turned his eyes to Draco, narrowing them maliciously. "You know if you would have been focusing on her, instead of avoiding her maybe none of this would have happened. I thought you said you loved her."

"What the hell is your problem Nott?" Draco had lost it now too. He pushed right back with his words at Theodore. "You know I love her and you know I would never hurt her."

"Never, huh?" Theodore raised his eyebrows, before shoving Draco roughly. "Then please enlighten me to why she was crying the last time you two were spotted together? Obviously she was happy, is that it, _Malfoy."_

"It's none of _your fucking business._" Draco couldn't take it anymore. He pulled out his wand and pointed it straight at Theodore, who looked at it for a second then pulled out his own.

"Draco, Theodore knock it off." Pansy shot them both a look before finally stepping in front of them. But they both merely shoved her away out of frustration. Blaise grabbed a hold of her and stood next to Theodore, throwing Draco some dark glares.

"No, Theo's right Draco," Blaise folded his arms and narrowed his eyes as well. "You left Crystal, we all know it. You no longer want her and to be honest, that's a pretty shitty thing to do."

"Fuck off," Draco shifted his wand to Blaise now. "I never, nor will I ever say I do not want her." He shook his head and lowered his wand. His features became heavy as his pocket his wand. "I don't deserve her." He admitted softly before pushing passed his friends out of the Great Hall. He didn't pay attention to where he was going, but before he knew it his feet had carried him all the way into the room of requirement. He hated this room. It was so stuffy and reminded him of his failures. He just wanted to succeed in something. If his friends only knew that Crystal was his life. She was everything to him, but he couldn't do anything for her. She deserved so much better.

He sat down in front of the vanishing cabinet. He stared at it and admired the carvings around it. He let out a deep sigh. He should go to the Hospital Wing. He should be there for her, whatever was ailing her. He shouldn't just give up. He was giving this vanishing cabinet everything he had, but he wasn't giving her everything he had. Wasn't she worth that and more?

He shook his head and buried it deep within his hands. He hated this. For once his life wasn't laid out in front of him. Yes, he was betrothed with her, but was that really where his heart lies? He was just a teenager. This was too much to decide. He let out a strangled cry of frustration. Even if it wasn't love, he cared for her. She was still his childhood friend. But she doesn't remember that…if she only remembered. This would be easier. She would have the right answer for this situation. She'd be fighting it wouldn't she? Anything her father wanted she fought against it. No, that wasn't entirely true. She had not fought him once this summer. She was doing everything she said. But why? There was some reason why. After the display of disobedience she showed at the end of the term, something was up. She was really planning something.

Draco quickly stood up and began pacing. What happened right before the ministry? He searched his memory. She was close with the Gryffindors. Close enough to break them free from Umbridge's office no matter what would happen to her. There was really something up.

He ended up skipping his first class of the day, pondering what she could possibly be planning. There had to have been something, but he couldn't figure it out. By lunch time he finally emerged from the room of requirement feeling more confused than he was coming in. When he started making his way to the Great Hall, Snape stopped him half way there. He seemed to be even more sour than usual. He pulled Draco aside and told him to get up to the Hospital Wing right away. Apparently Crystal was awake and asking for him, but Draco couldn't be found.

Upon hearing this Draco headed straight for the Hospital Wing. Crystal was sitting up in bed, looking extremely tired, but healthy otherwise. Snape didn't say what was wrong with her, so he really wondered what happened. In a way he wanted to know, but at the same time he was afraid to find out.

Crystal's face couldn't help but break out into a smile. She had already seen her brother, but to see Draco was exactly what she wanted. He may have been a real prick to her, but she was still glad to see him. "Draco," She said softly as he approached her cautiously. Her eyes followed him as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"What happened?" He asked her as she reached out and held his hand within his. He wanted to pull his hand away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. After Theodore yelled at him, he felt worse than he had ever felt in his life. In a way though, he was glad for the words. After his long deep thoughts within the room of requirement his thoughts were clearer than ever. He had to let her go, let her do what she wanted. He could not let his feelings for her interfere.

"Oh you know," She shifted her eyes off of his to the window.

"No, I don't." Draco reached out and grabbed her face, he wanted her to look him in the eyes. He wanted to keep this memory close to his heart. If he was going to let her go, he needed this. He needed this for himself, to keep him going during his mission. "You need to tell me, Crystal."

She turned away. Her face contorted into what seemed like sorrow. She bit her bottom lip and kept looking out the window. She seemed to be struggling with herself. Finally though she turned to Draco, looking completely composed. "Apparently what happened at the manor did more damage than the healers thought. I'm getting sent home for break early."

Draco couldn't help but swallow hard. The images of her being throwing the wall seared into his mind. "Meaning?" He said in the thick voice. He was trying to remain composed. Crystal was so it couldn't be that bad, but yet he felt it was. She was being sent home early. She wasn't as right as she was pretending to be.

"Meaning, that I'm not exactly stable, apparently I shouldn't be doing magic." Crystal merely shrugged. "I think those healers found during the summer are going to suffer some hefty curses." She whispered darkly.

"Are you going to be alright?" Draco couldn't help but ask that.

"Of course, it will just take time." Crystal could have rolled her eyes. Draco was being just like her brother, worrying too much. "I'm just going home early. You'll see me during Christmas break."

He frowned, "I wasn't planning on going home."

"Oh," Crystal let go of his hand and sighed. "I suppose you are working hard then?"

"That's the plan." Draco reached up and ran his hands through his hair.

"I can help you." She suggested as she leaned back and closed her eyes. She was feeling exhausted. Surely her lack of sleep and working on bigger and better things than homework was not helping.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but I don't want your help. I want to do this on my own." He said confidently. "Besides we need you to rest."

"I can rest any time. You are important." She opened her eyes and grinned at him. "Draco?" Her eyes changed suddenly. She seemed excited and not as exhausted.

Draco eyed her curiously, "Hmm?"

"Did we really have our first kiss in the Three broomsitcks or was I dreaming?" She asked as she leaned forward.

Draco couldn't help but smile at her. "Yes we did."

"Then you really did ask me out after my first kiss." She smiled widely and grabbed his hand. "Kiss me," She demanded.

"What?" Draco was surprised by her sudden bold behavior.

"I don't think I need to repeat myself, I'm a Nott." She crossed her arms with a wicked grin. "Nott's always get what they want. I don't think you have a choice in this matter."

Draco was still blinking at her in confusion. "Crystal—"

"Don't you Crystal me." She rolled her eyes in irritation. She couldn't help but wonder what happened to the Draco in her memories. He was so commanding and bold. In that memory in the Three Broomsticks he would do anything to kiss her and now, he was shying away. Was it all because she lost her memory? Was he attempting to be careful with her? If he was, she didn't like it. In her memory he seemed so…perfect. She loved the way he held himself with such confidence, what happened to that? "If you don't kiss me I will cry."

"No you won't. If you are a Nott like you said you are, you won't be crying." He countered with a laugh.

"And if you were a Malfoy, you'd kiss me." Crystal sat up even farther in the uncomfortable bed. She leaned forward and rested her hands on Draco's legs to steady herself. "I'm waiting," She whispered softly.

"Fine, you win this round." Draco's lip twitched. He couldn't help but wonder what she was playing at. He didn't want to question, he really didn't. She was letting him kiss her. He should willingly kiss her, but he was having a hard time. A part of him just thought he should let her be, like he said he would. But the other part of him was winning as he leaned forward and let his lips brush across hers for a tiny kiss. He could feel Crystal's lips smiling against his. His heart seemed to soar and for the first time in weeks he felt truly happy. All his worries seemed to slip away as she crawled forward onto his lap. She let her lips pull away from him as she settled herself in his strong arms.

"Draco," She whispered as she nuzzled herself into his chest.

"Yes?" He responded, just as soft as her weak voice.

"I love you." She kissed his cheekbone.

Draco pulled her closer to her, wishing with all his might that he could heal her right then and there. "I love you too." He planted a kiss on the top of her head. "The sooner you are better, the sooner you can be back in my arms."

"Then I promise I will get better, but only if you promise not to avoid me." Crystal pulled away from his chest and looked him straight in the eyes.

"I—" Draco paused, his voice seemed to caught in his throat as his eyes locked with hers. As he stared at her he couldn't help but feel that the look she was giving him was familiar. It was one she hadn't given him in months. It was that of true love and devotion. He hadn't seen that since May. He shook his head and closed his eyes. No, it wasn't there. His eyes were playing tricks on him. "I will stay by your side."

"Forever?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Forever."

**A/N: Sorry it's a little short, I thought it was a great way to end it. You can yell all you want :)**


	14. Chapter 14: Strength

**Chapter 14: The strength to resist**

**A/N: This chapter was written really fast…seriously. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, adds and whatever else. You guys are awesome. I said it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>Her eyes slowly fluttered open. She had been back at the manor for three days. Soon her brother would be arriving and finally she would have company, even if it was lively at Malfoy Manor, she was still lonely. Narcissa would get boring real fast. It's not that she didn't like her, just preparing for the Christmas ball was starting to get as boring as Professor Binns.<p>

She let herself adjust to her surroundings. When her eyes finally adjusted, she nearly screamed. Sitting right next to her bed was the Dark Lord himself. She had been too busy thinking that she barely even noticed. All she wanted was to see her brother and have some other sort of company, especially since Draco wasn't coming home.

"Glad to see you are finally awake, child." The Dark Lord spoke in a soft voice. She always had a hard time not narrowing her eyes at his behavior. She knew he treated her differently than everyone else, but now she knew why. And now she knew how to act towards it. After seeing those memories with Penny, she found it a hundred times easier for her to be around him, which had been every day since she got back.

"I hope I wasn't sleeping to long," She stretched out and looked over at her clock. "Oh, well sorry." She grinned after seeing the time, it was well past 8 am, she was usually up by 6 in the morning now a days. Then again last night was exhausting. Surely he would understand.

"Just come downstairs would you? We need your expertise." He stood up and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He swished it over Crystal and quickly changed her pajama's into a dark green dress robe. She had gotten used to this over the last couple of days. She wanted nothing more than to be wearing beautiful red robes, but he had been putting her in dark green or black almost every day. She was beginning to feel like a Slytherin more and more. She didn't care though, she would do whatever it takes. Dumbledore was entrusting her with a lot of information. The information about Penny was crucial. She wasn't exactly sure why the information of Albania was important, but Harry had reassured her it was extremely important that she finds out. If Harry and Dumbledore both felt that way, she believed it. Even if she had no idea how she was going to do it, she figured staying close to the Dark Lord wouldn't hurt her. It was her best bet yet.

She got out of bed as she was told and did something bold. She pretended to lose her balance. At once she grabbed onto his arm and steadied herself. "Sorry, I got up to fast." She pretended to blush as she hid her face in her hands that she quickly threw up. Once she was done she threw a true smile up at him and headed for the door extremely light on her feet.

"My child, you've been in a great mood lately, do you care to explain?" The Dark Lord recovered from her sudden behavior and headed for the door after her.

"Let's just put it this way, Theo's coming home tonight, sir." She smiled once more and headed out of the room. She was staying true to Penny's carefree and happy behavior. She found that went she did that she wouldn't get sick around the Dark Lord. Her stomach wouldn't lurch and her lunch wouldn't threaten its way up. This came as a great relief to her. The Dark Lord wasn't shoving potions down her worrying about her health. But she still was getting potions thrown down her throat because she fainted at Hogwarts. When she came home here, everyone was in fury. House elves were bustling around making the room perfect, meanwhile somewhere in a close room she could hear the Dark Lord torturing the healers. He was blaming them and only them. She was right, she knew they would get tortured. There was nothing she could do about it though. It wasn't in her hands. But then again, she didn't tell Madam Pomfrey the whole truth. She just couldn't. She kept half of what happened to herself, she merely fainted and felt exhausted. That's what she said. But that's not what fully happened.

They finally made it into the dining room. People were all sitting around a beautiful table of food just waiting. The Dark Lord took his spot at the head and commanded Crystal to take her seat on the right, something she was already used to. The table was full of the usual Death Eaters, something exciting was going on today. She wondered what it was, but she didn't ask. She said there smiling as she ate her food, remaining as happy as possible. The meal dragged on though. What was usually something where they ate and barely made business conversation, turned to the opposite. Crystal wish she had more food to concentrate on, but the house elves took hers a way a while ago. She had been forced to listen to the conversation of the usual. But as everyone was sipping their tea or coffee the conversation changed. She was never allowed in on serious things, just little tidbits about small minor future plans or about Harry's personality. The Dark Lord over all wanted to know everything about Harry so he could defeat him better. Crystal was rarely truthful about these. When she could slip in a lie, she would.

So when the conversation shifted and Draco was mentioned, her eyes flashed and she was no longer staring into her tea. She was focused on the conversation.

"The boy will fail." The Dark Lord said confidently to his followers. Crystal knew at once that he was talking about Draco. It was that tone of disgust. He was not happy with the Malfoy's. Even during the summer, he had mentioned several times finding a better suitor for Crystal then Draco. The Malfoy's had fallen from grace. Though they are loyal, they are not strong fighters. He wanted _his _Crystal as he worded it, with someone who was a fighter. He wanted someone with more courage and strength than Draco. "He has made no progress since the start of school."

"Do you know this for sure, my Lord?" Narcissa asked. Of course she would stick up for her son. She loved him dearly. He was her pride and treasure. With Lucius gone, he was even more so her treasure.

"The Dark Lord always knows." He snapped as his grip tightened around the cup of coffee. His attention then turned to Crystal. "Crystal, my dear sweet child," He said in a sickening voice. It wasn't once used to being heard from his lips. His followers all sort of shied away, but Bellatrix. Bellatrix nearly growled at Crystal in disgust. She hated the attention Crystal was getting more than anyone else. "Has he told you anything about his mission and how he is doing?"

Crystal set down her cup and looked into his deep red eyes. She swallowed hard and told the truth. "No, of course he hasn't."

"Why hasn't he?" He demanded. This surprised Crystal. He had never included her in Draco's other mission before. What makes now so special?

It caught her off guard and she let something slip she shouldn't have. "He has been paying no attention to me and focusing so—" She stopped. Her words caught in her throat as the Dark Lord's eyes narrowed maliciously. It was clear to her now that he was supposed to be focusing on each mission equally, or that's what the Dark Lord expected of him. She made a mistake and Draco was going to pay for it dearly.

"Finish my child," He had set down his cup and was now twirling his wand with interest. She swallowed hard, letting her eyes advert the wand.

"I haven't seen much of him." For the first time since she had been home her stomach lurched. She didn't know how to act in this situation. There was nothing for her to pretend to be. She could be happy like Penny always was, but words were failing her. She couldn't even put a smile on. That had fallen off a while ago. Her eyes darted around. Narcissa looked as pale as ever, but Bellatrix she looked pleased. Her father was hard to read, even she couldn't tell. All the other Death Eaters just had their eyes focused right on the Dark Lord. They saw nothing wrong with this situation.

"And have you been happy with this?" He asked in a way that made her sure she had to answer truthfully. He was focusing right on her, attempting to read through her skills in occulmency.

Her eyes fell to her hands which she had being rubbing together. She felt her stomach lurch even more. Her breakfast didn't feel like it would stay down. Her eyes began to trace the patterns of the dark green dress. Finally after moments of calming herself she looked up with a grim smile. She didn't want to get Draco in trouble, she really didn't want too. But she didn't see how she could lie right now. Her happiness should matter that much right? It never did. "No," She whispered softly.

"What was that, speak up child." He demanded, using his wand to lift her chin up.

She swallowed harder than before as her eyes locked with the dark cold intrusive ones. "No my Lord," She responded loud and clear.

"That's what I thought." He pulled his wand away and threw a harsh glare at Narcissa. "The boy better not becoming home, he has been proceeding along with these missions slowly and poorly." He stated as he tucked his wand away and stood up. "I am going to need an owl Narcissa. Crystal you come with me." And with a quick swish of the cloak he was walking away. Crystal had no idea what was going on, but she didn't think twice. She quickly walked behind him as she sauntered to the study. Silently she took a seat behind him as he pulled out ink and parchment. He began to write what appeared to be a letter. She tried not to stare at it because she knew how much he hated it. Usually she was just supposed to stand there like a good little girl and smile. She couldn't do that today, something about his manners let her to believe he was up to something.

His hand scratched furiously across the paper. Each letter was a loud noise in her mind as they attempted to read his tiny perfect little scrawl. Once he had nearly finished writing she had gathered enough of the letter to know what it contained. She didn't what she read though and she was letting her mind believe she didn't read the hand writing perfectly.

He didn't say anything to her. This was normal though. He folded up the letter and sealed it tightly waiting for the owl. Once Narcissa had brought it, he mailed the letter at once and took his position at the table once more. He grabbed some books and began searching for information. Every so often he would write down notes in front of him or ask Crystal to grab a book or two from the library that he did not have in the study. It was all for the sake of bringing down Harry. He had too in order to complete his goal in purifying the wizarding world.

A couple of times he paused and would ask Crystal an obscure question. She would answer dutifully then go back to smiling. She was so perfect. Exactly how he remembered her years and years ago. Except there was one difference and this difference was everything to him. Crystal obeyed everything he said. Nearly everything, she wasn't as much of a rebel as his Penny was.

After standing there and taking order for five hours they finally left the study. It was around then she got a call from one of the house elves to head to the Blue room, her presence was needed apparently. She nodded curtly to the Dark Lord and headed over to the Blue room on the fourth floor. When she went in there she was extremely surprised on whom she saw. Within the Blue room sitting on couch facing the many instruments was Melinda Johnson, one of the top writers for the Evening Prophet.

"Ah, Miss Nott so splendid to see you!" She said happily as she stood up, clutching tightly to her notepad and quill. "I'm Melinda Johnson, in case you don't remember."

Crystal scrunched up her nose slightly and held out a hand politely for Johnson to shake. "Of course I remember you Miss Johnson."

"Excellent," She took a seat and motioned for Crystal to do the same. "I am really sorry for the short notice, but you see once we got the letter from your father we had to come out."

"My father?" Crystal tried not to look confused, but she couldn't help it. She was thoroughly confused.

"Yes, did he not inform you he was alerting the Daily Prophet? No, I suppose he wouldn't." Johnson rambled on as Crystal took a seat. "In any case I want all the details."

"I will try to help you as much as I can." Crystal said curtly as she smoothed out her dress.

"Splendid! Let's get started shall we?" She opened her note pad and sat there looking at Crystal, as if ready to devour her. "We had received word from Hogwarts that you had passed out earlier this week." She started off. Crystal didn't even attempt to say anything. She just kept her eyes on the notes, dreading this more than anything. "It was then you lost your memories of the young Malfoy correct?"

"Wha—" Crystal started but cut herself off as the words the Dark Lord wrote earlier that day floated through her head. She had to lie. This was clearly a setup of some sort. "Yes, I don't remember much from that moment on, but I know that I was at the Slytherin table and then next thing I know I am in the hospital wing. Apparently the damage done in the Ministry of Magic was worse than believed."

"So it's true then you are no long to perform magic until farther notice?" Johnson asked, not sounding sympathetic at all.

"I'm afraid so," Crystal smiled grimly.

"And is it true that you remember nothing of Draco Malfoy your fiancé or shall I say your fiancé at the time." Johnson looked thoroughly giddy at this. It was as if this drama was the best she had heard in her whole life.

Crystal's eyes widened. Fiancé at the time…then the words were true. The betrothal was off just like that. The Dark Lord's word was final in this. She couldn't help but wonder if Draco knew or would he find out tonight? Would he even care? Surely he would right? She cared, this was hurting her right now, but she remained as composed as she could. "I'm suffering from selective memory loss. I remember nothing of him or his family."

"Is that why you are here? At Malfoy Manor?" The questions just kept coming.

"To try and jolt my memory? Yes, and let me tell you it's not working." Crystal said glumly.

"Are you sad the engagement is off then?" Johnson leaned forward, this was obviously a question she had thought out. Crystal was sure there would be tons more where this came from.

"No, I don't remember anything about him. I can't say I'd want to get married to someone I don't remember." Crystal said and at one point those words would have been true, but not right now. Right now she wanted to go back to her room and cry. She wanted more than that though. These emotions and feelings that were running through her were starting to exhaust her.

"I bet," Johnson nodded in agreement as her hands scribbled down quickly. There was a long pause in which Crystal was sure she took her words and twisted them just right. This would be the juiciest Evening Prophet in a while. Those old witches love this gossip, not only that it would be better for the moral of the people. The less Voldemort the better. "Now what? You are the heroine. Best friends with Harry Potter, sworn protector of good. Now that you are no longer with a convicted Death Eaters son, where will you go from here?"

Crystal tried not to frown. That sounded like a loaded waffle if she ever heard one. She was not a heroine. She was far from it. If she was she would be with her real friends right now, not in some manor waiting on the Dark Lord hand and foot. No, she couldn't think like that. She had her own reasons for being here. She was going to fight and fight hard. She was going to find out the information she needed even if it killed her. "I suppose I will just have to follow my heart, won't I?" It was the first thing that came to her mind that was acceptable. She didn't know what else to say. Her heart was heavy and she wanted to go to bed. No, she wanted to see her friends. She wanted Hermione.

"Follow your heart," Johnson repeated with a grin as she scribbled down more notes. Surely this was going to be made into some sickening article. They will call her the Girl Who was Chosen most likely and by chosen, she knew it would mean chosen by Harry Potter. The Dark Lord had a plan and she was front and center this time. She could almost feel everything falling into place.

"Following your heart…"Johnson repeated once more, "Does this involve young Malfoy?"

"I am not sure. It might and it might not." Crystal shrugged and turned to face Johnson with a sad smile. She was acting the best she could, but it wasn't easy when her insides were falling apart. She wasn't even sure if she was doing a good job anymore.

"What about Longbottom? The one you have been spotted with during the Hogsmeade trips?" She asked, her grin twisting even higher.

"Oh," Crystal breathed out, not expecting this to come up. She had almost forgotten about that mishap within Hogsmeade"We are extremely close. He's always been there for me."

"Even when Malfoy wanted nothing to do with you?" She said knowingly. "No need to hide the truth. We all know he was the actor. He was never seen with you around school from what we understand."

Crystal blinked obviously they had a good contact within the school. "Neville was there for me no matter what. But…I don't remember anything about Draco at all. I don't know if he was avoiding me during school or not." She hung her head sadly adding for more effect, but truth be told her heart was hurting. She was lying and she knew he wasn't faithful this year. He was with Pansy for the start of the school, and then he was nowhere to be seen. He hadn't been very good to her, had he?

"Of course not, silly me." She laughed, but Crystal could tell she didn't mean it. "Is there anyone else in your life? We all know how close you are to Harry Potter."

"Blaise Zabini actually," She wasn't sure why she was feeding the fire, but she was. "If you haven't heard us sing a duet together, you haven't heard music."

"Really? Isn't he another close family friend?" She asked without even looking up from her scribbling.

"He's been a friend of mine for as long as I can remember." Crystal smiled and peered over at the notepad. It looked as if they had filled several sheets already just from those few questions. She tried her hardest not to sigh.

"Perfect!" She said in a peppy voice and closed her notepad. "I think that's all for today, thank you Crystal."

"You're welcome," Crystal said curtly. She waited for the moment that Johnson left. That was extremely uncomfortable. She didn't care if the Dark Lord wanted her in his presence some more today, she ran to her bedroom instead. She wanted to get away and break away from the world. Once she was in her room she went to her bath and took the longest bubble bath she could. Once she had been in there for two hours, her skin was well and wrinkled, she headed over to her closet to find the bubbliest dress she owned. She threw it on and pinned up her hair perfectly. From there she felt like her mind was cleared. She was able to head down stairs and find the Dark Lord himself. She knew he'd been in the study where she had left hours ago. Ignoring her growling stomach, she walked right into the room not even bothering to knock.

"I was wondering when you would come back." The Dark Lord said the minute she opened the door. He didn't even bother to look up. He kept looking instead from the book he had open in front of him back to the parchment he was scribbling important notes on.

"Why did you call of the engagement and inform the world that I lost all my memories of Draco?" Crystal demanded at once. His eyes finally left the parchment. They looked up straight at her and lingered across her for only a moment before a smile traced onto what would have been his lips. She looked more beautiful than ever, especially with that Gryffindor trade mark anger and boldness.

"You did lose your memories of hi—" He started but Crystal cut him off.

"A while ago, I wasn't going to admit this, but I got them back when I passed out." Crystal's eyes flashed dangerously as the Dark Lord pulled out his wand at her insubordination for cutting him off.

"What?" He roared in anger. This was news to him. He had been planning on calling it off anyways, she didn't remember and Draco was doing extremely poor on his missions. He had already moved onto bigger plans for her, but if she finally remembered maybe he really didn't need to call it off. "And you didn't tell anyone why?" He demanded coldly.

"I don't know," She said as her knees buckled. Crystal had collapsed onto the ground and laid there waiting for the curse that never came.

"My child, stand up." He ordered. His anger was on the borderline, he could tell, but he wouldn't lose it with her. He wasn't planning on it. She would obey him. She would will to his every command. He watched as she stood up proud and tall like a true pureblood. "I have better plans for you."

"My Lord?" She question as her eyes locked onto his. She attempted to look past all the evil. She pretended that he was just Tom Riddle a mere boy again. She kept her attention to that, it helped keep the fear at bay.

"Dumbledore will be dead by the end of this year, whether the Malfoy boy completes his mission or not. From there my regime will only grow." He said confidently as he twirled his wand within his hands. "We will have the Ministry and I thought at first how great it would be to have you as a poster girl. How a pureblood should look, but the Malfoy's they aren't strong enough. I could use the Zabini boy, he would do well, but I have a different direction for you. If we still need a poster girl and boy, we will use Zabini."

Crystal listened rapidly, but she was still confused. She waited for him to say more, but he took his time. He was pacing around the study. After several minutes of pacing he stopped in front of her and grabbed her cheek tightly. He ran his cold hands along her jaw line, sending a sickening shiver down her back.

"Once we have the Ministry, Hogwarts will be ours. We need the youth on my side, which is where you come in." His hand dropped from her face and he grabbed her hand tightly. It was a cold grip, if she wasn't prepared she would have winced, it hurt how tight he was holding onto her. It was like he was trying to control her. "You are a very likable child. You have more than just Slyhtherin's on your side, you have Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. My child, what I want you to do is, when we have Hogwarts under my control use that influence. Befriend the ones who are against me and use who you are to persuade them to come to my side, the right side."

Crystal had heard enough. It was starting to upset her. Being a poster girl was nothing, what she was being asked now was to betray her friends. She nodded as best as she could. "Of course My Lord, you are too kind." She squeaked out as his hand gave her hand a tighter squeeze before it let her go. She could feel the bruise starting to form as he gave her one last look. A look that she couldn't describe, but one that made her stomach churn. And then he left leaving her very much alone in the study. Slowly the tears started to push through till finally they were leaking out of her eyes onto the dark green carpet. She swallowed back a loud sob as she headed for the door. But curiosity got the best of her. Her hand that was on the door handle stopped. Her body twisted over to the papers on the desk. Heaving a heavy sigh and brushing away the tears she headed straight for it. She began to shake slightly as her hand reached forward for the top piece of paper. It took her a moment to steady her grip as her eyes flashed quickly from the door to the paper. Right on the top in his perfect handwritten was:

_Known Pureblooded students_

And right underneath that, the first words she read was,

_Neville Longbottom_

Her eyes carried on reading till she read friends upon friends. Next to their names was level of believed cooperation. That's why he was keeping her around and asking her what seemed to be random questions about classmates. He was using her to analyze the students. He was using her to figure out who would easily fall under his reign. She scowled to herself and dropped the paper back on the desk. Without a second though she ran out of the room and headed for the bedroom, her safe place, her heaven.

She didn't know what to do with herself from there. Everything was crashing down so fast. Out of anger she punched the wall once, only earning herself a throbbing hand to go along with the bruised wrist. She cursed loudly then did the one thing she knew how to do. She threw open her balcony window and headed out onto the balcony. She stared for a moment into the setting sun before she climbed over the railing and lifted her body over to the vines. From there she slowly descended down onto the snowy ground. She looked around the minute her feet landed and when she saw no one, she let her feet grace across the snow and began running as fast as she could. She had no sense of direction, but she knew this garden maze well enough. She just let her feet carry her until exhausted took over her. The sun had completely set and found herself sitting at the base of the frozen fountain.

Time had seemed to stand still for her as she sat there. Eventually the sky had opened up onto her. Her body began to shiver, but she didn't care.

"Crystal," After sitting there for a while letting her thoughts drift a voice drifted through the icy air. Slowly her head titled over to the sound as arms found their way around her. She didn't say anything as her eyes locked onto Draco's. Her eyes blinked a couple tears out. "Come inside," He urged as he tugged on her shoulder.

"What are you doing home?" She said causally as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She finally noticed how cold she was.

"I live here," Draco said while rolling his eyes.

"I thought you would stay up and Hogwarts and work on your mission." Crystal voice remained dead as she threw her eyes back to the ground, where the falling snow had already filled her tracks.

"I have another mission to fulfill." Draco pointed out, earning a harsh cold laugh from Crystal.

"Not anymore you don't." She sighed and stood up. "Have you seen the Dark Lord? I'm going to assume not since you are in one piece."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked with concern as he eyed Crystal, noticing her disarray for the first time. He knew something was wrong when he realized she wasn't in her room and there were tracks leading out to the garden, but he didn't think it was this serious. Something was wrong and it was a dark something.

Crystal shook her head not wanting to say anything. She took one step into the cold snow and her legs gave way. They were too cold to support her weight. Luckily Draco caught her.

"I'll carry you back to the house, but you have to tell me what's going on." Draco looked at her sternly as he lifted her bridal style into her arms. She fell right into place and snuggled up attempting to steal his warmth.

"We are no longer betrothed. Apparently I lost my memories when I pasted out at Hogwarts." She said flatly, feeling her voice catch in her throat towards the end. She was going to cry again.

"What?" Draco stammered but kept calm as he walked through the snow back towards the house. "What do you mean we are no longer betrothed?"

"The Dark Lord alerted the Daily Prophet, he called it off. I had a nice little interview with Johnson from the Evening Prophet about it." She sighed and grabbed onto Draco harder. She wanted him, not what the Dark Lord had planned now. This was all her fault. She should have lied. She should have said she knew what Draco was up too, that he was spending time with her.

"Then what?" He questioned as his eyes flooded with the worry he was feeling. If they no longer had to be betrothed what would become of their relationship? Would Crystal still care for him even though they aren't forced to be together?

"We aren't betrothed. The Dark Lord may use Blaise instead, but he has better plans for me than some poster girl is what he claims." Crystal said softly as the appeared to be getting closer to the house.

"He can't! Blaise cannot have you." Draco said angrily. He hated where this was going. This was all his fault. He should have paid more attention to her…the Dark Lord always knows. He has messed up far too many times. He needed to complete his other mission perfectly.

"We don't get a say in this, do we Draco?"


	15. Chapter 15:You

**Chapter 15: The Best part of me was always You.**

**A/N: Sorry this was really late. I had a lot of homework than during spring break I was just too busy to write...that and I am reading again. When I read nothing gets done. So to make it up, this Chapter is in Draco's POV. Yeah...best I got. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

><p>This was wrong all wrong.<p>

There was something deep going through the Dark Lord's mine and Crystal was the center. But that wasn't the only thing bothering me. It was the fact that I had failed her once more. I couldn't protect her anymore. If I was not betrothed to her there was little I could do. I paced through my room, occasionally I kicked an easel or a canvas that was left on the floor, but nothing helped. I was frustrated and confused. I didn't know what to do.

I walked around the room a couple more times until I found one my palette. I tried painting earlier, but it didn't help at all. I stared at the swirl of blues before I threw it against the patio doors. It splattered against the glass panes before it finally crashed onto the ground with a defiant thud, leaving paint smears in its wake. I let out a sigh and shrunk onto the ground, staring up at the unfinished painting.

"Draco, what the hell are you doing?" I tore my eyes away from the swirl of death and focused on the door. Crystal was standing there looking furious. Something I haven't seen in ages. "It's four in the morning, I do hope you realize that." She looked right at me then surveyed the room. She let out a sigh and then came over to sit next to me.

"I know," My voice came out glumly and nothing like I wanted. Crystal let out a deep sigh before she put her arm around me.

"You're upset," She stated, telling me the obvious. "The Dark Lord didn't, you know..." Her voice trailed off and she leaned up against me. She felt so warm. I wanted to snuggle closer, but I kept my distance.

"It's nothing I can't handle." I said puffing my chest out a bit. I didn't want her to see me as weak. But that's all I've really been, weak. I failed once again. I failed her...

"Of course, the almighty Draco Malfoy. There is nothing he can't handle." She laughed and for a moment I thought I saw something in her eyes. The way she laughed and the way she spoke...was it possible her memories were back? I doubt that. It just seemed like something she would say. The old her, the her before she was damaged.

"I'm flattered that you think that, I really am. But I'm," I let out a sigh, "I'm not as tough as you make me out to be." I pushed her arm off and walked over to the easel that I knocked over moments before. "I haven't fulfilled one mission yet. I am a failure, I will never be a great Death Eater." I couldn't help it. The words were out before I could take them back. But Crystal didn't seem bothered by them, she just laughed. She found my insecurities funny. Why though? The Crystal the last couple of months would never laugh at this.

"Did you ever think you aren't meant to be a Death Eater? Draco have you ever stopped yourself for a moment to realize that deep down inside you are a good person?" I had my back to her, but I could practically feel her smile from here. I couldn't face her. I kept my back to her and my eyes focused on the starry night sky that was slowly peaking with signs of dawn. A new day was starting.

"I don't mean to sound rude but you know nothing of me. You don't have your memories so who are you to judge that I am a good person or not?" I threw right back at her. My anger was rising. I punched the window pane, it didn't even shutter under my fist.

She let out another laugh. "You are a kind enough person to love." I turned around, she was standing up fixing one of the paintings as a soft perfect smile traced her lips. I was having a hard time seeing her face in this lighting, but she looked so at peace. It was like being her was just enough for her. I wanted to reach out so badly. I want to hold her in my arms so close to my heart, but I couldn't. I felt like she wouldn't allow that. Especially if she knew what my mission was. My mission to kill Dumbledore. I knew she didn't know yet, the minute she would find out that was it. I knew she wouldn't talk to me from then out. She will always be something I never deserve.

"You really think so?" I said stupidly. I couldn't think straight right now. I just wanted to say something intelligent and that's the best I could do.

"I know Draco." She smiled and came up to me with confidence. She studied me for a moment then grabbed my hand. "You are exhausted." She pointed out and once she said it, it hit me. I was extremely tired. "Let's get you to bed." I didn't even argue as she lead me to my own bed. I laid down as she brought a chair over to sit at the end of my bed with. "I love you," She whispered softly.

Just those words along made my stomach want to do flips. I closed my eyes, "I love you too." She clung onto my fingers even tighter. I felt like she was trying to tell me something, but the world around me was getting tuned out. Words from earlier were coming forth.

_"You failed me on your first mission I gave you. Pray that you do not screw your other one up." The Dark Lord growled. He pulled out his wand and threw another curiatas cruse at me. I barely even flinched, but the pain was ripping through me. I felt like I had to stay strong. I don't know why. It was just me and him. He lifted the curse finally. "Crystal will be in good hands. I have great plans for you. I know she will go through with them better than you will."_

_"Of course M' Lord." I said with a bow. It took some effort to bow, the curse did more than I thought. I was feeling heavy. I tried to shake it off. "If I may, what do you have in store for her?" I asked boldly hoping to know. I didn't want her in any danger. I wanted her safe, but I knew as long as she was here she wasn't safe._

_"You can ask all you want, but I feel no need to tell you until you prove yourself." His voice was harsh and colder than usual. I knew not to push it farther. I left the room without looking back. _

With these thoughts I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I woke up there was a loud commotion going on in my room.

"Crystal," There was a harsh whisper as someone called out her name. My eyes fluttered open and sure enough Crystal was still sitting in the chair. Her eyes were open and they were focused to the door, where Theodore was coming in.

"What?" She snapped harshly. I gave her hand a squeeze letting her know I was up.

"You shouldn't be in here." Theodore said plainly.

"I know that," Crystal's eyes darted around. She was still in her night gown and now that I looked she had dark circles under her eyes. She didn't look happy at all.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Theodore came up and put an arm around her shoulder. "Morning mate," He smiled at me, though it seemed colder, kind of far away.

"Morning," I muttered, not happy at all with his distance glance at me.

"I want to stay in here, Draco and I were talking." Crystal pulled her hand away from mine and pleaded to her brother. He let out a sigh.

"You were both sleeping." He pointed out.

Crystal shrugged, "Close the door, we all need to talk." She commanded as she pushed Theodore towards the door. He looked at her confused for a moment before he walked over to the door and closed it tightly. When he came back he took a seat at the edge of my bed and waited for Crystal to explain. She sat there for a moment hugging her knees deep in thought. Finally she let out a slow breath and looked at the two of us, her grip on her legs loosing ever so slightly. "I have a confession to make." She stated calmly. We both kept our eyes fixed right on her. She wouldn't look at either of us. Her eyes were still fixed on my blanket. She kept tracing the silver patterns with her eyes. She was deep in thought and she seemed so far away. "When I passed out in the great hall, my memories came back to me. I didn't tell either of you right away because it didn't seem right. I felt like something big was happening and it was. The Dark Lord has bigger plans for me and they sadly don't involve you anymore." She looked right up at me. My heart seemed to fall to the floor. There was so much I wanted to say, but nothing would come out.

I had hoped and dreamed of this moment and the only thing I could splutter out was a strangled breath. I wanted to hide because everything I wanted to say was stuck.

Theodore didn't have any problems, he looked right at his sister with a proud smile. "I had a hunch you did. Just the way you were talking to me last night."

"That's what makes this all so..." She paused and blushed for a second. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. She shook her head, her beautiful dark hair cascading in a mess around her. "It's all bullshit. I said it."

"For once, I'm going to have to agree with you." Theodore reached out and held her hand, the one thing I wanted to do so badly right now. But I couldn't find my courage. I just sat there feeling stupid and useless.

"What?" Crystal's eyes tore away from the blanket for the first time as she looked her brother in the eyes.

"I've known you my whole life, but yet I haven't even _known _you. I think Draco can feel the same way." He turned his attention away from his sister and looked at me. He let out a sigh and stood up. "If there's one thing I've learned, it's you don't belong here. Your lost memories were trying to tell you that. You do not belong with us. You are fighting on the wrong side." He said and I couldn't help but agree with him. Crystal looked like she was about to protest, but I jumped in.

"He's right, so the question is what are you going to do? You don't have to stay here for us. We won't allow it anymore because that's what you've been doing right." I pointed out. It was all starting to fall into place. She stayed her for us and us only. That's why she was on the side she didn't believe in. I knew I was right as she opened and closed her mouth searching for the right words.

"I have no idea what you two are talking about." She stood up now as well. She looked her brother right in the eyes. "Now if you excuse me, the Dark Lord will surely want my presence soon." With that she stomped out of the room leaving Theodore and I stunned at her behavior. We waited till she was good and gone before we started to talk to each other.

"There's something more." I said plainly.

"But what? According to dad she's been sitting faithfully in the study with the Dark Lord every day. It's nothing like her." Theodore took her empty seat and leaned forward on his hands.

"Do you think it has to do anything with her meeting with Dumbledore all the time?" I questioned. We knew she had been meeting with him a lot and as of lately she's been hunched over with Granger at all times. It was like they were planning something. But what could they possibly be planning?

"If it is she's gotten herself into something big." Theodore narrowed his eyes. I knew he was deep in thought.

"You don't think she's...a part of the Order do you?" I thought out loud.

"Doubtful, I know they aren't like the Dark Lord. They wouldn't take anyone underage." He always had a point.

"Then what do you think is going on?" I looked out the window. The sun was fully up. It had to be at least 9 in the morning. It was extremely bright out as the sun reflected off of the snow.

"She's too bitter about her family and the Dark Lord to be doing this without a reason." Theodore lifted his head from his hands and his eyes lit up as if he thought of something. "What if she's no longer protecting us? What if she has given up on us?"

"And what? Now she realizes she has to protect everyone else?" The gears were turning in my head, Theodore brought up a good point. "She knows the Dark Lord's plan to take over Hogwarts."

"She has too, which means she's attempted to protect—" I started but Theodore cut me off, finishing the sentence.

"Her mud-blood and blood-traitor friends. Everything she has been doing was too help them, not us."

"So now what? Do we let Blaise know at least?" I asked.

"No, we can't tell anyone. Blaise wouldn't be too happy if he knew." Theodore said quickly. "But we do have to tell Crystal about Pansy."

"What that you and her are betrothed?" I laughed, still not able to get over that. Pansy wasn't too happy about it, but at least she was more accepting than Theodore. He could be heartless some times. "She'll flip when we tell her."

"I think she will more than flip. But I feel she has a feeling. Pansy has been extremely nice to her and has been looking out for her." Theodore said.

"Which is surprising. Pansy certainly has been a good sport about all of this." I said in agreement. "Though she didn't take our engagement to friendly."

"She's grown up since then, but Crystal I can't decide if she's a knifing bitch or not." Theodore laughed.

"That's not nice to say about your sister." I rolled my eyes. He's always been that way about her. Teasing her all the time. I wondered if this is what it would be like to have siblings.

"I'm nice to her all the time. You on the other hand, you've been a royal prick." Theodore sneered the last part to me. He was still going on about that. I hated how much he harped on me. Though I had to give him credit, he really did love his sister when it came down to it.

"I know what I have been. You don't have to remind me every time we talk you jackass." I sneered right back and got out of bed. I snapped my finger for a house elf and demanded them to start cleaning the mess I made last night. Theodore left the room knowing I was irritated. I had the right to stomp around all I wanted. Things were going like shit for me. I wasn't getting anywhere closer to my mission on killing Dumbledore. The Vanishing cabinet was going horrid. I had completely lost Crystal. She was no longer mine. I didn't even know how long before the Dark Lord would probably use another pureblood for her. That left me unsettled. No matter what she was up to I had to do something to protect her. I swore to myself I would. I wasn't going to stop now, I had a minor setback. It was a shitty one, but I had to make it past this one.

I sat up in my room most of the day contemplating. Finally I called a house elf and had them help me with something. I would have the little surprise ready for later.

Finally it was well past ten at night. I had been waiting in Crystal's room for her to return from the Dark Lord's presence. The minute she walked in she looked worn down. I bolted up from the couch at once and grabbed onto her hand. Right away that perfect smile traced across her lips, she genuinely looked happy that I was there. She threw her arms around me and welcomed me.

"Happy to see me are we?" I said cockily as I planted a tiny kiss on her cheek.

"No, not at all. I just wanted to make you feel that way. You know get your hopes up." She shrugged with a smirk.

"Then let me get your hopes up in return." I pulled away from the hug and dragged her over to her balcony which I had decorated with fairy lights and her favorite flower, lily of the valley. In the center of everything glittering in perfect lighting was a silvery table filled with chocolate covered strawberries, angel food cake, cauldron cakes, and all of her favorites.

She let out a gasp as she skipped forward to sit down in one of the seats. I just stood there grinning.

"This actually isn't for you." I said, teasing her.

"Shut up and sit down Prince Charming." She demanded, but she was still smiling. I could tell she was enjoying every minute of it. She didn't grab for any food. She just waited keeping her eyes on me. There was something important on her mind. I would let her speak first. "I wanted to tell you that even though we aren't betrothed, I still want to date you."

"Even after the way I treated you?" I questioned feeling ashamed.

"Even after the way you treated me."She smiled warmly. "I'm not going to give up on you. I know somewhere deep down you are a good person."

"Sometimes I feel like you are just saying that." I grabbed the goblet of pumpkin juice and began to swirl around the contents. Crystal shrugged and took a bit of a strawberry.

"I could be or I could be telling the truth. I think you know though." She shrugged. "If I didn't believe it I doubt I'd be here right now."

"You'd be in Longbottom's arms wouldn't you?" I said bitterly.

"Oh shut up," She rolled her eyes, "You are the better kisser."

My eyes widened. I didn't know if she was being serious or not. I quickly composed myself by clearing my throat and taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "I hope you are kidding."

"I am," She giggled, she loved to tease me way too much. "I haven't kissed Neville. We are just friends."

"You don't have to lie to me." I said.

She rolled her eyes and looked overly dramatic. "I don't lie to you."

"What abou—" She cut me off.

"Never," She grinned and leaned forward to grab my hand. "I wanted to thank you. Thank you for everything. And I really wanted to say I'm sorry."

"What could you possibly be sorry for?" I asked, eyeing her carefully as she squeezed my hand.

"It's my fault the Dark Lord broke off our engagement." She said simply, I couldn't help but smile.

"You never wanted it that way anyways. At least now you get to decide for yourself." I told her.

"A fresh start..." She muttered.

"More than that, you can decide what you want now. The Dark Lord isn't holding you down with any missions." I told her.

"He will be as soon as you fulfill yours." My eyes widened at her words. They became cold and distant. They were no longer happy. She knew something and I didn't like it.

"What if I don't fulfill it?" I asked letting go of her hand. I felt myself shying away. I was beginning to feel small from the look in her eyes.

"Then we both know your family is doomed." She stood up and grabbed her goblet. She swallowed it in one gulp and leaned over the balcony. "Try not to worry about me at least my mission I won't have to fake it."

"What do you mean?" I stood up next to her. I couldn't explain it but I felt scared for her. Something in her voice told me to worry for her.

"I mean that next year, I will be a weapon." She threw her cup over the edge and watched it sail through the air. When it gave a satisfying clank in the courtyard she turned to me with a solemn smile. "And next year this won't last. I won't be able to be by your side." She leaned forward and planted a kiss on my lips. For the first time I could ever remember I felt her love, passion, and heart tingling through her lips. I attempted to deepening it, but she pulled away as tears began to streak down her cheeks. I wanted to reach out, but before I could react she turned and headed into her bedroom. A clear sign that she wanted to be alone. Whatever was going through her mind was weighing her down way too much. I wanted to help her, but I wasn't sure there was anything I could do. I turned to head back in so I could go to my bedroom, but that's when I noticed a piece of paper on the ground. I bent over and grabbed it, noticing at once it was Crystal's hand writing. I frowned at it and before I could stop myself, I started reading.

_Fred,_

_He plans to use me. He plans for me to deceive all my friends. He doesn't want me to be with Draco anymore so I can lie to Neville and any other pureblood. He wants to use me and make sure everyone is in love with me. By doing that he plans to use my influence to bring more to his side. I don't want to. I don't want any of this. But you already know...Dumbledore see's something greater in me. I have to follow what the HE wants. I have to at all cost. I'm going to help Harry and I'm going to do it even if it kills me. I owe it to him don't I? I owe it to Neville too. I know I can't help who I am related too, but still. Deep down I want to cry every time I see them. All I see is those deep red eyes that caused pain and fear. _

_I hope to see you soon. I would love to talk to you in person._

_Love,_

_Crissy_

When I finished reading the letter, I let it fall to the floor. I blinked a couple of times before the anger hit me of what I was reading. I stormed off of her balcony and headed to my room. I went straight for my easel and before I knew it I was painting away my thoughts. It was stupid of me to come home. I should have stayed and worked on my other mission. But I didn't. I was here and I was here for Crystal. Nothing would change that. No matter what stood in my way. I am Draco Malfoy.


	16. Chapter 16:Hope

**Chapter 16: Only Hope**

**A/N: So I really am sorry for this taking forever. It's the end of the semester, I have my senior show to finish, jobs to apply for, you know the whole deal as a graduating College senior. Not to make excuses, but really I haven't had much time. That and I had writers block on this story. Truth. So I hope you can enjoy it. This one is coming to an end soon :O**

**Last little note, it will be told in Crystal's point of view for the rest of the story. I'm doing this for a couple of reasons...the rest of the story and the story before this was leading up to this moment. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

><p>There's always a time in everyone's life were everything seems too heavy. This heaviness doesn't just weigh on your heart, but your soul as well. You begin to feel drained, exhausted, but most importantly you begin to doubt everything. In doubting everything you no longer want to be what people expect of you. People tend to see what they want to see. It's just how it is. There isn't anything you can really do to change it. And I guess, I didn't realize it until I was so wrapped up in this situation. I felt so heavy. I had no reason to carry on the way I was. At least that's how I felt as I read the word scribbled on the paper in front of me. I know longer wanted to be what was expected of me and it left me feeling <em>heavy. <em>I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. Dumbledore had hopes in me. Harry had hopes in me. Voldemort had hopes in me. My own father, for once in his bloody life, had hopes in me. So when my eyes read over Fred's hand writing, I snapped. A part of me fell away. I no longer wanted to be what people expect me. I wanted to break everything that anyone had ever known about me.

I was no longer engaged to Draco. Nor could I ever be, not until Voldemort was dead...who knows when that would be. He wanted to use me against my friends. He wanted me to lie to them. On the plus side to this turn of events, my father finally accepted me as his daughter. But now that I had it, I no longer wanted it. I wanted my life. I was sick of it being controlled.

Tears began to swell in my eyes at the very thought. I blinked down at the parchment in my hand once more and read the words.

_Crissy, you deserve some freedom. I think it's time to use plan #56_

No signature. That's all that was written. But I knew what it meant. Fred, George, and I had plans for nearly everything. Half the time they were just jokes. But sometimes, sometimes we actually went through with them. Plan 56 was a joke. That's the thing, it was a pure joke. We had laughed many nights over the fire talking about it. But here's the difference between now and then.

Then I was happy.

Now, I was shaking. My eyes were heavy laden. The body that held me was falling apart. I felt weak. Each step I took was painful. I needed rest. I needed my life back. But more importantly, I needed rest. The only way I could get that rest was the through plan #56. And somewhere in my heart I feel this is the dumbest thing I have done since…well ever.

My eyes widened. There was a way, just one simple way, I could make Dumbledore proud. I folded up the letter quickly into my dress robe and ran to my chest. I searched and searched until I found the two vials Fred and I created for, well if nothing else laughs. I stared deeply at the purple liquids before bolting downstairs. I let my feet carry me as my heart pounded hard against my chest.

I stopped running and carried on in a slow gate, my eyes focused on the beautiful oak doors. Just beyond there was Voldemort and his precious Death Eaters. I could feel my pulse beating in my neck as I reached out and threw the doors open. The room was dark and everyone sounded so angry as the discussed something. Whatever it was, it was no concern to me. I cleared the room and headed straight for Voldemort himself. He noticed me almost right away. His eyes locked right on me in dark curiosity as I crossed the room. Slowly Death Eaters started to notice. One by one the talking fell into a murmur. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I kept my chin up high, noticing to my right that familiar white streak of hair and pale skin. A part of me itched to run to his side, but I stayed firm. I was doing this for _him_. No, for me…so I can have the life I want.

"Child," Voldemort said in a strange voice. It was always the same voice he used with me. I had heard it so many times in Penny's memories, but what was I hearing? I couldn't tell you. I just nodded. "What brings you here?" He asked as his followers moved in closer around us.

Bellatrix, standing the closest, was looking down at me. I ignored her and the glares I could feel upon my back. Instead I reached into my pockets and held the two vials within my hands.

I raised my head high, thinking of Penny and her actions. I closed my eyes only for a moment. I felt what I could, Penny's memories dancing across my mind. "I couldn't sleep. And when I can't sleep I think."

Voldemorts eyes flashed for a moment. The red seemed to fall almost out into a black, but it felt like a flicker of the poorly lit room. "The trap called the human mind." He took a step forward and looked at me better. I could hear a stifled noise of disgust, knowing it was Bellatrix I tried not to glare at her.

"Indeed," I said stupidly. "But my mind fell upon to what we were discussing this afternoon." My voice faltered if only for a second. I began to feel my fear that was hiding.

"Oh?" He said interested, more so than before.

I swallowed, feeling the vials weigh heavy upon my pocket. "I didn't give you a straight answer, I couldn't think of what to say at the time."

A silence followed my words; clearly he was waiting for me to explain myself. I was about to speak out and carry on, but Draco's voice filled the room.

"Crystal, you are tired let's get you to bed." He said sternly and before I knew it his arms were around my shoulders. Voldemort's gaze fixed right upon us.

"I did not give you permission to speak, Draco." He spat, causing Draco to drop his grip. But he didn't move away from me.

I forced a smile upon my lips, despite fear. Keeping calm I pulled out the vials. I held them in the air and let Voldemort see them before I spoke. "In these vials I hold one poison and one harmless liquid. Both the same color and they look identical." I reached out and handed them to Voldemort who was staring at them and then back to me.

"Which one is which?" He asked amused. His lips, or what would be lips, twisted into a sinister smile.

"Your guess is as good as mine, my Lord." I smiled. "And please by all means pick one." I paused as several Death Eaters murmured something to one another. "No cheating and uncorking them." I added.

He stared at me. His eyes bore into me, attempting to find the meaning of this. When he finally found nothing he turned his eyes to the vials. Each one the same color. He eyed them closely. Minutes passed and he said nothing. Finally after turning them over in his hand he held out the one within his right hand and held it out to me.

"This one is the regular potion. The one I hold is a poison." He said flatly.

I grabbed the one in his right hand and raised my eyebrow. He seemed to be waiting for me to confirm the truth, but I didn't instead I merely uncorked it and took a sip. My face contorted as it went down my throat, but I said nothing until it was all the way down. I could hear protest and murmurs asking what I was doing and if I was insane, but I ignored them and let a smirk fall upon my face. "I have no idea which one I just drank. The point is that you never know. You can't predict the future, only prepare for it." As my words were coming out I realize which one I had swallowed. My stomach began to burn. I felt as if it was on fire. My eyes widened and I looked up at Voldemort. I attempted to push down the wave of nausea, but I couldn't. It was already upon me. My vision began to blur and my stomach dropped. I grabbed around my mid section and backed away from the circle. I knew it was no good with each step I took. My movements were sluggish and almost drunk like. I bumped into a figure or two and then I reached the door.

It was all a haze from there. I remember Draco taking me up to my room. And I know I remember Professor Snape talking to me, but I can't remember anything other than that. It may have been the stupidest thing I have done, but I was proud of it. That look in his eyes as I drank the poison, I knew I did something right. At least that's what I thought as Christmas morning rolled around. I was proud of myself and why not?

"Crissy?" I rolled over in my bed and stopped my wondering thoughts. Surprise filled me as I saw my brother at the end of the bed. "Happy Christmas," He smiled, but his heart didn't seem to be in it.

I couldn't help but just stare at him through my weary eyes. Of course, I pulled that stunt on Christmas Eve. Last night was such a blur.

"That was the dumbest thing you have ever done." Theodore chided with dark eyes.

I couldn't help but smirk. "Which part?"

"All of it," He rolled his eyes. He paused for a moment. I didn't want to say anything. I really had nothing to say to him, so I just waited. Finally he spoke up again. "Crystal, what is plan #56?"

I felt my voice catch in my throat. To hide my discomfort in his question I curled up with my blanket and rested my head back on my pillow. "Oh you know…"

"It doesn't have to do with you—" He stopped himself. I watched him through my eyelashes as he shook his head. "I just want you safe, you're my little sister."

"Theodore," I whispered in shock. That wasn't what I was expecting. He was being so brotherly. It was something I haven't seen him do in years.

"I mean it, this war is going to get rou—" He started but I cut him off.

"Happy Christmas!" I shot up suddenly and grinned at him.

"What?" He blinked, stunned by me cutting off his speech.

"You heard me." I reached out and ruffled his hair. "What time is it anyways? Shouldn't Mrs. Malfoy be the one waking me up? You know all day priming for the ball?"

"No, the Dark Lord wants to personally over see your dressing." Theodore didn't look at me, he looked over towards where Draco's room was. His eyes seemed to glaze over with fear.

I on the other hand snorted back laughter. "This should be interesting."

"Crystal," Theodore looked at me as if too see sorrow, but when he saw my smile his whole face changed. He looked so confused. "Are you, I mean…we don't really talk about this sort of thing. But I mean, are you okay with not being betrothed to Draco?"

I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Do I really get a say in it?" I asked.

"Well, no, but your feelings do matter. They matter to me at least." Theodore admitted.

My eyes widened and before I knew it I found myself in his arms. "Thank you," I muttered into his chest and held on. "I'm not okay with it, but I'm a Nott."

He pulled away from me and studied me. "Meaning you never give up, Plan #56 then?" He asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"If you only knew…" I sighed and threw away my blankets. "Send the Dark Lord in." I smirked, "Let the fun begin."

He stared at me for a moment before ducking out of my room. I felt slight disoriented. He usually didn't approach me much, nor did he talk to me about my life too much. For him to be concerned or at least showing it, something had to have been up. Which would explain why he was snooping around my room…sure I didn't exactly have the letter from Fred hidden well, but still.

I only had time to pace my room four times and then the Dark Lord was there. I stopped pacing as my eyes focused on his dark figure. I gaped for a moment realizing what was in his hand, but quickly gained my composure. He was holding a dress I had seen Penny wear years ago. It was in a memory Dumbledore had shown me. Voldemort had picked it out for her himself for Slughorn's Christmas party. It was a beautiful dress, one that Penny loved. Beautiful pink one, but definitely not my color in the sense that I'm not overly fond of pink…Lavender yes. Pink is a bit iffy.

"You will be wearing this tonight." He stated as he walked over to me. His voice was dull, but it always was unless it was commanding someone.

"Happy Christmas," I muttered, wracking my brain to recall what Penny said that night Tom had shown her this dress and said that exact same line. If Hermione was here she would remember. Her mind was always better for the little things. But she wasn't, it was just me. Just me and plan #56.

Letting a smirk fall onto my face at the thought of Fred, I skipped to Voldemort meeting him half way. I twirled once in my nightgown then picked up the dress from his arms with a wide smile. "It's beautiful, thank you." I smiled warmly letting the silk fabric run through my fingers.

He stood there for a moment looking pleased, I paid no attention though. I was too busy eyeing the dress. It looked brand new.

"That stunt you pulled last night," My head jerked away from the fabric. I looked straight up into his dark red eyes. "Do not do it again. You proved your point." He grabbed my chin roughly and pulled me close to him, sending a shiver of fear down my spine. "You are too precious to me for you to die over something so silly." His voice was cold.

"Why am I so important? What makes me so special?" I pulled away, waving my arms in anger. The dress fell silently to the floor as we stared at each other.

It seemed to me as if he had forgotten who I was. The look in his eyes were distant and far away. He didn't say anything for a long time. He just stared at me, examining me. Finally after minutes passed he spoke. "Wear your hair down, jewelry will be brought up later. Stay in here all day, no running off." He commanded and then left the room, leaving me stunned.

For once in my life I did as I was told. I stayed in my room all day. I have no idea why I did, just something in his voice made me listen. And it was strange. I wasn't being escorted down by anyone. Usually I would be, but since I was no longer with Draco I had no one else to escort me.

The ball room was exactly how I remembered it. It look just like every other Christmas. In Slytherin households I find there is always more green then red. I never really minded it. Just it's a strong reminder of home.

I let my eyes scan the room. There were a lot of well established families. I could go on forever naming them, but it's not worth the bother. My eyes kept scanning among families. Every single person in this room was a Death Eater, or a supporter of the movement itself. That much I could tell. Even the blasted reporters that were scoping out the room.

I paid no attention to them though. I was too busy looking for the company I would be with all night. I wouldn't be bothered to talk to the woman and their gossiping lips. Nor would I let myself be droned by men talking about their righteous Dark Lord. No, I would be with my peers who weren't much better. The girls gossiped just like their mothers and the boys worshiped just as much. What a sad life I am surrounded by. It made me wonder what Neville was doing tonight. He was a pureblood, but surely he would be with his grandma and the rest of his family. Probably singing carols all laughing and smiling. The simple life.

"Beautiful, what are you doing standing in the door way?" I jumped slightly as a hand landed on my back. I turned around and saw Blaise smirking at me.

"Beautiful, eh?" I rolled my eyes and shrugged his hand off.

"Fine you want to be called ugly? Personally pink is your color darling, you look gorgeous tonight." He grabbed my hand and planted a tiny kiss on my hands.

"Oh eat your words." I said, but I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

"Happy Christmas," He ignored my cold words and held tightly onto my hand. "Come on, Draco's going to love to see you."

"Fat good that will do me." I sighed.

"Please, Theo's already told me. You have some diabolical plan coming." Blaise turned to me and let go of my hand. He was waiting for me to take his arm and let me be escorted. I flashed him my grin before grabbing on.

"Don't I always?" I gave his arm a squeeze and let him lead me to the far corner of the ball room.

"If you didn't you wouldn't be Crystal." He said thoughtfully, as he smiled charmingly to the people we passed, who were casting curious looks at us. "Personally I love all the flash and attention you draw. I don't care for your friends. They are filthy."

"Typical Blaise, if you only knew." I said thoughtfully, attempting to tease him. But Blaise was never one to fall for my bait.

"What that your friends are secretly wanting to join up with the Dark Lord?" He laughed, the thought really did amuse him.

"Something li—" My words were cut off.

"Crissy," Draco's voice stunned me at once. I turned my head to see him sitting casually at the table next to us. His hair wasn't gelled back as I had grown accustomed too, but a neat disarray, if that even makes sense. He was in dark green robes, that almost looked black. He was perfect. This for once in a long time was my Draco. He no longer had bags under his eyes, he had slept. Not well from the redness in his eyes, but he slept.

"Happy Christmas," I smiled not really knowing what else to say. He stared at me for a moment before my brother crossed in front of him.

"Haven't seen you all day." He noted. "Got all your presents alright? The Dark Lord made it sound like you were on house arrest. None of us could go in or out of your room."

"I noticed," I said grimly. "He doesn't trust me. He thinks I'll run."

"Well are you?" Theodore asked.

"Of course she isn't." Blaise said quickly.

I didn't say anything, I just smirked as I took a seat next to Draco. All eyes were on me, but they were briefly distracted by Pansy and a couple of other Slytherin girls who had arrived. It seemed the girls wanted to dance, leaving me alone with Draco. Neither of us said anything for a long while. We just sat there, our eyes focused were our friends used to be. Draco opened his mouth to speak first. He always hated silence between us.

"What's going to become of us?" He asked, his voice was extremely heavy and hard to pick up over the Christmas music that was filling the room.

"Whatever you let happen I suppose." I shrugged and leaned forward on the table.

"Meaning?" He turned his head away from where he was focusing and looked at me in the eyes.

I let out a soft sigh. "Ever since I got back, you never once asked me about Rose Academy. Why?"

He leaned back in his chair, his hair seemed to fall perfectly into place as he stared at me. His forehead creased with worry, "I was afraid to find out." He said in a small voice. "Think of it this way. You lived there for a good piece of your life. I had attempted to move on. I dated several girls, and what about you? You could have been with thousands of boys."

I snorted a laugh. "I had a lot of friends. Friends that I have left behind. Yes, I write them all the time, but I can't see them anymore."

"So you aren't denying that you've been with thousands of boys." Draco pointed out, causing me to sit up straight.

"I've been asked out by a ton, but I never said yes. I was always hoping I could—nevermind. I'm being silly." A blush found its way to my cheeks, and I was forced to look down at my hands which I had being wring together.

"Hoping what?" Draco leaned forward in anticipation and grabbed my hand tightly.

"Hoping for you." I said in a small voice.

His eyes widened in shock. He sat there for a long moment taking in every piece of me before he kissed my hand. "I am sorry it is my fault you no longer have me."

"No, no its not. Do not Draco, for the life of you, blame yourself. This is something that is out of your hands. And by the name of Merlin I am going to fight for you. I am going to fight for us." I leaned forward and whispered harshly. "I'm going to be reckless, be stupid. So like old times, you be the sensible one. Can you do that for me?"

"I would do anything for you." He said confidently. "But you have to promise you won't let yourself get hurt."

"No one can make promises like that Draco. I can get hurt, you know that will happen." I said sadly.

Draco seemed like he was about to respond but was cut off short.

"Crystal, you are wanted in the drawing room." My head snapped sharply behind me to see Mr. Goyle darkly looking at me. I gave a curt nod acknowledging his message before I turned back to Draco.

"When I get back, you owe me a dance." I said with my brightest smile, before steering off to the drawing room.

I knew the minute I left what I was being summoned for. There was only one person in this whole manor who would summon someone. Someone who had to feel important, wanted, needed.

"My Lord," I bowed the minute I opened the door. My voice was full of cheek, but I didn't care. I was sticking to plan #56. I would get my life back.

There was a long pause. He was standing against the window. From the dim lights in the room I could tell it was starting to snow. Instead of waiting for a response I closed the door and inch forward until I was right next to him. It was snowing and it was beautiful. He pulled his eyes finally away from the dark outside upon me. A smile twisted upon what would have been his lips.

"You look just like her you know." He said finally.

I couldn't help but notice the hairs on the back of my neck prickling. "Penny, you mean Penny don't you?" I said boldly, ignoring my trembling hands.

His eyes looked shocked, but only for a moment. "How do you know about her?"

"She's my grandmother isn't she? Mum didn't talk about her much, but enough that I know I look like her." I smiled weakly and took a seat on the windowsill attempting to calm my nerves.

"Nearly act like her too. Only difference is you listen a lot better." He took out his wand and began twirling it in his hands. I couldn't help but watch it. It made me even more nervous.

"I don't know about that." I laughed. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up even more. I couldn't help but wonder what it was like for Penny being around him. Was it always like this? My heart was pounding in my chest, was that normal?

"I know you care for young Malfoy, but yet you don't protest. Why?" He began pacing as if wondering. The wheels seemed to be turning.

"It would be foolish to protest. I'm a Gryffindor, not a complete moron." My voice seemed to shake, but I sat up tall. My eyes never leaving his pacing figure.

"I think you are protesting in your own little way." He turned quickly towards me and let his eyes rest upon mine in a fierce gaze.

"Probably," I swallowed.

"I could applaud you, but I don't think it's wise to go against you." I watched as he put his wand back in his robes. "I never dared to go against Penny. Not that I was afraid of her, I just couldn't. She was always one step ahead of me, which is why I always wanted her to help me with my quest."

"What to purify the Wizarding world?" I stood up and questioned.

"No, something much bigger, but she couldn't come to Albania with me. I just wanted her with me, just once. Someone to know of my legacy. The lengths I went too." He turned back towards the window and gazed out. His mind seemed to be in a better place. This wasn't the Voldemort I was used to. This wasn't the one who killed people, ruined lives, and brought fear upon households. This was something different, yet it scared me even more than when I had seen him killed someone. This was too human, I was so used to see him as the monster he really is.

"Why are you telling me all this?" My voice cracked. I was so scared tears were dripping down my face and I hadn't even noticed.

He turned to me with almost sadness, but that didn't seem possible. "Because you look like her." He shouted before pulling out his wand. "CRUCIO!" He said out of what seemed to be frustration.

Almost at once I fell to my knees as everything seemed to be on fire. The pain was nearly unbearable. My vision was blurring and my throat was turning raw from screaming in pain. But just as soon as it came, it went. The curse was off me and I was alone in the drawing room, staring up at the falling night sky.

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><p><strong>AN: Again really sorry for the wait. I started this forever ago, but life sort of caught up. Along with a huge writers block...and me reading books upon books. It usually only takes me reading a fanfiction or two to want to write again, for future reference :P**


	17. Chapter 17: Dignity

**Chapter 17: It's too late for dignity. **

**A/N: I'm trying here!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>I was standing there in the cold. My cloak was pulled tightly around me, but it still wasn't enough. The wind was blowing strong and I could feel the snowflakes falling through my clothing. Again I had put myself in the sort of situation that just falls short of insane. If someone found out that I was not indeed sleeping as I said I was going to bed early, there would be hell to pay. If someone got wind that not only I was not sleeping, that I indeed ran away from Malfoy manor there would be more than hell to pay. But then again the way the Dark Lord has been acting lately, I think he would be glad to see my safe return. For as of right now, I am deep within the forest, beyond the bounds of Malfoy Manor. Who on earth could possibly find me as I waited patiently.<p>

I pulled my wrist out of my cloak attempting to read the time, but the skies were dark with snow. It was well past ten in the evening that much I could tell.

Crack.

My head whirled around. That was the sound of someone apprating. He was here. A smile formed upon my lips as the dark figure before me came into view.

"Fred," I breathed and took a step forward. His arms were around me almost at once.

"You going to explain this remote location?" I felt his chest vibrate in laughter as he pulled me tighter.

"I can't do that, you know that." I teased and pulled away, finally getting a good view at him. It felt like forever since I had seen him in person. He looked like he had obviously been well off. Some of his clothing could even top that of what Theodore wears, and Theodore is a sharp dresser. "Look at you," I smiled.

"This could all be yours if you came away with me." Fred stretched his arms up and down his body, I threw him a sharp glare. "Oh come here you." He grabbed me tightly and before I knew it, there was a strong pull across my navel and my existence shrinking and reappearing in another unfamiliar area. I blinked a couple of times before realizing we were outside of his apartment with George. I let him usher me into the warmth of the building. Together we went in and sat in front of the fire where George was all set up with warm cider for all of us.

"I told you she wouldn't lie about the location." George smirked at his twin. Fred merely shrugged.

"What you thought it was a trap? Please, do you know what hell I have been going through? I am so glad that I can go back to school in two days." I let out a deep sigh as I threw myself onto the plush couch, sandwiched in between the two twins.

"We gathered that when you sent us a fire message. You are lucky we were around." Fred looked over at me in concerned. Even through the dim lights his smile wasn't masking the concern.

"I think you should consider yourself lucky because here I am." I smiled at both of them and then took a sip of my cider.

"Which brings us full circle, Crissy." Fred grinned.

"Why yes it does, why are you here?" George leaned in, mirroring his brothers grin.

"I can't go through with the plan. I can't do it without you guys." I said plain and simple.

"Crissy," Fred put his hand upon my thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You can," George finished.

I closed my eyes for a moment as I held the cup tightly in my numb hands. I took a moment feeling the warmth and comfort before I opened them again. "If you two were at Hogwarts maybe."

"The Dark Lord plans to use you against your friends, is that really what you want?" Fred, who rarely raises his voice, slightly raised it.

My eyes widened.

"I mean, you don't want that do you?" Fred carried on, sitting at the edge of his seat.

"What Fred is saying is, you have a way out of this. You can show them that they don't own you." George gave his brother a look, as if saying to stop sounding so edgy.

"I don't really like it, I personally would love for it to be one us. No, personally I'd love for it to be me, but you have to show them you are you and they can't control you." Fred was staring at George as he spoke. Their eyes didn't move off of each other. Obviously they had been talking about me since I contacted them the night before. That night, I snuck into the only fireplace in Malfoy Manor that could be used for the floo network. Once I had done that I told them everything. How I remember everything about Draco, but now the Dark Lord has other plans for me. How I want nothing to do with it and that I want my life back. From there we all decided it was best we met in person. We thought we could wait until a Hogsmeade visit, but that seemed so far away. We ended up decided that they would have to met me somewhere, hence how I ended up here.

"I think this is silly." I said after a long pause.

"It is, but it may just work." George shrugged.

"And I may just be a tart." I looked at both of them showing my annoyance.

"You never know until you try." Fred picked up his cup and took a sip. When he was done he cleared his throat. "Whose going to be your first victim?"

"The notes are all planned out dear brother. Or have you forgotten already?" George laughed and reached onto the coffee table and hand the stack of papers to Fred.

Fred grabbed them and flipped through them making faces. "I know, but admit it a Weasley would be the icing on the cake. We picked out mostly purebloods." He pointed out at the notes and the different parts of the plans.

I leaned in close, remembering the familiar papers we joked over only a year before. "And looks like starting out with Blaise."

"Whose idea was that?" Fred snorted. "Isn't he incredibly stuck up?"

"Mmmm there about. He's like Draco, only worse. I distinctly remember a conversation that came up on the train. Said he would never touch a filthy blood traitor. That said blood traitor was our dear Ginny." I felt my lip curl into a snarl. I had grown fond of Ginny this past year and bringing up that memory still upset me. I guess at the time it wasn't as bad because I wasn't as close with Ginny. But now, I would even consider her close to the sister I never had.

"Then let's cross him off the list. We don't want you with anyone who hates our little sister." George grabbed the parchment from Fred and took a quill attempted to cross out Blaise's name. But I stopped him.

"I think he might be the easiest though. I mean think about it, Draco and Theodore would find out sooner. They room with him." I said thoughtfully, even if I was having second thoughts about this again. I was always having second thoughts about it. I had no idea why. It's not like I wasn't rebellious ever in my life.

"But he's a prat." Fred reasoned.

"Draco's a prat, but yet Crystal still loves him." George argued.

"Well that is true, but still..." Fred let out a dream sigh and snatched the parchment back.

"Fine, Blaise is first, should we go over the plan of attack?" George rubbed his hands together, letting a grin form upon his lips. I let out a nervous laugh.

"Let's give it three hours to plan, then we have to get Crystal back." Fred said as he started to spread the papers across the table and George vanished the mugs with his wand.

"Even three hours might be pushing it. Let's get this done as fast as we can." The twins were completely ignoring me as they set out to work. They were in planning mode and there was no going back. Even if I thought this was childish or stupid, there was no stopping them. Either this plan would work or it wouldn't.

Personally I was hoping it would work because after the ball Draco seemed dead determined not to pay any attention to me. It was as if his world had been put into perspective. From what Theodore said, I was still in the highest authority, Draco was in the lowest. The Dark Lord did not want him anywhere near me. And apparently from what Theodore said happened in a meeting, Draco is to stay clear of me because I have my missions to fulfill, what those missions are I have no idea. So currently Draco is listening to orders and not talking to me like we were at the balls. He is talking to me as if I were just another friend, not someone he loves. Every moment I see him, every time I am around him, and any time I just think of him it breaks my heart. It is honestly more than I can bare anymore. So I honestly put my whole heart into this planning. If he can't see how much I need him, then he is a fool. And if this plan doesn't work, then I have nothing...nothing left in my life.

We worked as quickly as we could, but by the end of it we really hadn't planned much. We were too busy laughing just like old times. I truly had missed them more than I wanted to admit. I almost felt like myself again. By the time Fred apprated me back I was almost in tears to see them go. It was the end of the term all over again. But he promised to owl me and that was all I could ask for.

Sneaking back into the house was not as easy as it was sneaking out. I noticed for one thing that there were a couple people in the garden which wasn't a good sign. I had to sneak just right to crawl back up to my room and by the time I did, my door was locked. I attempted to open it a couple of times before I realized, someone must know that I left. Frustrated, I kicked my door and began pacing. My curtains were drawn, so someone could have been in there, but who knows. I ruffled my hair, feeling much colder than I had earlier.

Quickly thinking I crawled over to Draco's balcony which wasn't too far and knocked on his glass doors a couple of times. I heard a rustle then the glass opened. Draco was apparently asleep and I had woke him up. He was just wearing his boxer and his hair was a mess. I blushed and looked down.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" He asked in a harsh whisper and pulled me in. "Are you mad?"

I shook off my cloak. and quickly stashed it underneath his nearby bed. "I am not bloody mad, I'm about to be murdered though. Just say I've been in here all evening. Please." I begged, not failing to noticed that his eyes were looking down at my feet. He was avoiding eye contact again. I tried not sigh as I kicked off the rest of my outdoor clothing and shoved it even farther under the bed.

"You—" Draco took a moment and looked me up and down. He let out a great sigh. "You never went to bed, you snuck out of the Manor." It was the first time in days he actually dared to look me in the eye. I gave him a sad shrug and settled myself into bed.

"Just do it." I pleaded innocently. But he wouldn't have it. He grabbed me by my hand and made me stand up.

"No, we are no longer together. I am not going to cover up for your behavior." He said sharply and started pulling me to the door, but I threw him off.

"Draco, what is wrong with you?" I demanded stomping my foot as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Nothing is wrong with me. The question is what is wrong with you ignoring the Dark Lord demands?" He stood his ground throwing me a dark look.

I gaped openly at him. "Seriously Draco, what is going on in that head of yours? Are you doing this to bring honor to your family? You are seriously going to turn me in so you can have some glory?" I let out a couple laughs of hysteria before I pushed passed him and headed out of his door. I slammed it as hard as I could and stood outside of the door staring along the corridor.

It didn't take long for doors all around me to open. Across from me Theodore came out of his room. Next to me, where my room would be, The Dark Lord, my Father, and a couple of other Death Eaters came out. Everyone seemed to be gaping at me.

"Pleasant evening isn't it?" I said brightly. "I'm just going to be going to bed now." I said quietly attempting to head to my room, but my father grabbed onto my arm roughly.

"Where in the name of a hippogriff were you?" He demanded, but didn't get very far seeing as the Dark Lord had already ripped me out of my father's arms, into his.

"Nott, get Draco out of his room. I'd like to get the story straight." The Dark Lord kept his eyes on me at all times as he spoke it, but as it turned out my father did not need to get Draco out of his room. He had managed to throw some night pants on and a t-shirt. He didn't look bothered at all by the turn of events.

"You wanted me, my Lord?" He asked giving a bow and looking at the Dark Lord then at me.

"Look, this is all one big mis—" I started, but the Dark Lord grabbed me even tighter telling me to shut up. My words trailed off quickly. I let my head drop down ever so slightly, before I bared up some courage and looked right at Draco. He was still avoiding my gaze.

"How long was Crystal in your bedroom?" He looked straight at Draco, who looked calm.

Draco didn't hesitate, "Ever since she said she was going to bed I presume. When I went up this evening she was waiting in there for me. Somewhere in that time of waiting for me she fell asleep. All the commotion in the manor must have woken her up. She had apparently come to my room to talk to me." He said and I almost couldn't believe him. He lied for me. Moments ago he was going to turn me in. I couldn't help but let my mouth open and close before I gained my composure.

"Fat load that did me." My voice began to raise. I was going to save myself if I could. "I hate you so much!" I began to scream and ripped myself out of the Dark Lords grasped. I headed straight for Draco and began to hit him. He was extremely surprised. "You are nothing but a spo—" I did not get to finish my sentence since for the third time this evening I was being grabbed away. My arms were going to have some dark bruises.

"ENOUGH!" The Dark Lord demanded. He threw me a sharp look. "You, go to bed right now." He said as he pushed me into my bedroom and closed the door.

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><p>Everyone knew I snuck out. It wasn't as if Draco's story was that convincing. There were footprints in the snow, even though the blizzard that was brewing quickly covered them up, my skin was cold when they found me, but even then no one dared to believe anything else. It was as if they didn't want to punish me. Regardless I was on house arrest so to speak until we left for Hogwarts. That was the worst trip of my life. I was forced to sit with all the Slytherin's with no escape. Any time I even tried to go to the bathroom Pansy would come with me. It wasn't until dinner at the Great Hall was I able to get away, even then it seemed like a hassle. Everyone was well aware I was up to something and they sat incredible close to make sure they could eavesdrop at any moment.<p>

"I am guessing you didn't have a good break?" Neville leaned in and whispered, his eyes were nervously on the Slyhterin's behind me.

"Oh what gave that away?" I didn't bother to whisper. "I was on house arrest for 'sneaking' out. Like I would." I snorted laughter for good measure, but I threw a wink at Neville letting him know I really did. "I'm assuming you read the Daily Prophet?"

"You know gran won't read that, but she is obsessed with you." He began to shuffle the rest of his food on his plate. "Which, I mean...she thinks you, well never mind." He glanced once more at the Slyhterin's.

"You okay?" I raised an eyebrow, noticing his strange behavior.

"What? Yeah...I mean are you? I heard the engagement is off." He blushed as he said it. It made me almost nervous and I felt a tinge force its way to my cheeks.

It was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I quickly took a sip of my goblet and gave Neville a look. "I'll be right back," I said as I set my cup down. I turned around towards the Slytherin table. Theodore, Draco, Pansy, Grabbe, and Goyle were listening intently behind me. But I ignored them, Blaise was the boy I wanted. He was a bit farther away sitting with some of the 7th year boys. He was laughing and enjoying himself, or so it seemed. I threw on my best smile and walked towards him.

"Hi," I said nearly breathlessly as I sat down next to him. Several of the 7th year boys gave me curious looks but I ignored them and kept my eyes on Blaise.

"Crystal, what can I do for you my darling?" He asked in his usual formal tone. Normally it would cause me to roll my eyes, but I held back. Since I held back though, he noticed at once. He took the chance to take a stab at me. "Did you decide you wanted to divulged yourself in true pureblood fashion? If that's the case I'm all ears."

I knew he was doing it just to get a rise out of me and it was working. "Actually, no I'm still visiting with Neville." It was then I felt the strong urge to go back to Neville, even though he brought up an uncomfortable subject.

"Then what could I possibly do for you? And believe me I already noticed you didn't go over by Draco and your brother." He said smoothly, his friends still hanging on our every word.

"Draco won't even glance at me, my brother is still upset about what happened the other night..." I mumbled.

"Which is why you came to me." He pointed out, even though it didn't need to be.

"I need to talk to you in private. You care to escort me for a walk after dinner?" I asked feeling a knot began to form in my stomach. My food felt so far away, even though minutes before I was so hungry. I was nervous and there was no denying it.

He set down his fork that he was holding in his hand and for a good while just stared at me as if he just first noticed me. Finally after what felt for hours his lips curled up into a smile. "Why don't we just go now? I'm done eating anyways."

My mouth seemed to grow dry. I attempted to swallow but it got caught. Slowly, I dared to pull my eyes away, they landed over at Neville who was raising a curious eyebrow to me. I mouthed 'later', but he just laughed, leaving me to shrug. I tore my eyes away to look over at Draco, but he was no longer at the Slytherin table. In fact, neither was Crabbe and Goyle. I frowned and turned back to Blaise. "We don't need to rush. In fact, I can see you later this week if you want." I suggested and quickly stood up. My courage was completely gone, which wasn't like me.

"Are you okay?" Blaise asked as he gently rested a hand on my arm.

"Why do people keep asking me that?" I gave a nervous laugh and backed up.

Blaise just smiled and turned to his friends. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Alright man," One of them said as Blaise stood up.

"Come on," He said after a moment of me just standing there. I nodded weakly and let him lead me out of the Great Hall. I was having second guesses. Maybe this wasn't the best idea.

We began to walk the corridors, I was barely paying attention, but Blaise was. He was leading me down to the dungeons into a lesser known short cut to the Slyhterin common rooms. Before I knew it, he stopped and leaned up against the wall, waiting for me to explain myself. I began to nervously smooth out my skirt.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but this isn't like you Crystal. In all my years of knowing you, you have never once sought out my company." Blaise said, filling in the silence that had formed around us.

"He's onto me." I said lightly as I slide down the wall.

"Theo said to watch out for you." He kicked off the wall and sat down next to me. "He said this is hitting you harder than you would admit. And for once, as much as I hate to admit it, I think he's right."

"Why?" I questioned, as I looked over at him, squinting through the dark hallway.

"Just the way your acting, like I said you never come to me." He pointed out with his best smile. I had to admit, for as little as I did talk with Blaise he did have his charm. He was raised just as well as any of us. But he had his flaws. He was a lot like Draco and because of that, this made everything easier.

"I wouldn't say never. I like to think of us as close friends." I bumped his shoulder, making him laugh. "We did sing at all those balls together."

"And I always did better than you." He argued.

"That's the world's biggest lie." I protested crossing my arms over my chest.

Blaise threw on his best smile, "Besides the point." He patted me on my arm and we fell into a silence. Neither of us said anything as we stared at the wall in front of us. I knew a great while past, but it wasn't until Blaise let out a hefty sigh that I realized it was almost past curfew. He held his pocket watch in front of my eyes and let me see the time.

"I'll walk you back." He said in different and helped me up.

"You really don't have too." I insisted. "Besides I'm a big girl."

"A big girl who sneaks out of a manor. A big girl who breaks the rules. And a big girl who can't do anything right, now come on." He grabbed my arm tightly and pulled me along, I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"When did you become so concern for my safety?" I asked as we head up the staircases.

"I've always been this way. Not that you would know, always wrapped up in your own world." He pulled me even farther, making us keep a steady pace.

I took a deep breath. "Blaise, wait," I said quickly making him stop. "I'll walk up alone. It would be better if my friends didn't see you."

"They already saw you leave the dinner table with me." He said, blocking my logic at once.

I stared around nervously at the mingling students who were heading back to their common rooms. A couple gave Blaise and I strange looks, but most didn't even pay us attention. I felt a lump form in my throat. I swallowed it down, but it didn't help. I took one look at Blaise and ran. I couldn't do it, I couldn't go through with it. Not this soon.

Sometimes, I am just a coward underneath it all. All the glamor of being a Gryffindor, but deep down I still feel like a slimy Slyhterin.


	18. Chapter 18: Hurts

**Chapter 18: Don't tell me because it hurts. **

**A/N: Yell at me all you want, but this chapter was planned out for an extremely long time now. **

**Anywhooooo, thanks for all the reviews and everything. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>I barely saw Draco. When he wasn't in class, he was completely gone. My spirit was slowly slipping away. I had abandoned plan #56. There wasn't much I held onto really. Hermione was forcing me to do my homework throughout the weeks and by weekends, she was actually forcing me out of bed. Neville would often fill my plate up with food and he would be lucky if I touch even a grain of rice. I wanted nothing to do with anything. But I had picked up this odd obsession with noticing how Draco was always gone and every time I noticed that I felt even worse. Even when I did see him, that didn't make me feel any better. He was starting to look more tired, more worn down, and all around just miserable. I hated it all.<p>

But most of all, I couldn't sleep at night. My mind was eating away at me. I kept dreaming of years of abuse done by my father, which then lead to thinking about how my mother never loved me much or rather didn't show it till the end of her life. The list went on. My head was boggled with thoughts. I couldn't find any more reasons to justify the pain I was feeling within my heart. I was starting to shy away from any form of affection and because of that, I started going back to my old self. Cold, distant, and without a smile. It was as if I just got back from America, just like I had a year and a half ago.

"Miss Nott are you even paying attention?" My mind snapped away from its thoughts and looked up at Professor Snape. He was in front of my desk staring down at me, looking more upset than I have ever seen him...well at least looking at me. I blinked for a moment and stared around the classroom. Everyone had their eyes upon Snape and I. Apparently I wasn't the only one perplexed as to why he was singling me out. I know I wasn't the only one not paying attention to his long-winded speech about Vampires. "I have asked you a question and you are not answering." His words were cold, sending a shiver down my spine. I knew I had done something wrong.

There wasn't much I could say to fix this as the whole classroom stared at me. Hermione's gaze was especially piercing upon me. "I'm sorry Professor," I attempted to smile weakly, but my lips barely even twitched. "I was not paying attention."

"Five points from Gryffindor. And I expect to see you after class." He threw me once last glance before heading back up to the front of the class, were he proceeded to answer the question I failed to respond to. Hermione's hand shot up at once, next to me Harry passed me a note on the side of his parchment.

_Sorry, I didn't get your attention soon enough._

I wrote on my own 'notes' that I was 'taking'.

_Don't worry about it Harry. _

He smiled at me and then went back to listening to Professor Snape. I tried to do the same, but I couldn't. My mind still wasn't clear, which didn't help the class go any faster. I wanted nothing more than to leave. For once my stomach was growling, but I couldn't leave. As the rest of the class filed out for dinner, I remained seated. Finally when the last student left the room, Professor Snape slammed the door and stalked next to my desk. He stood there staring down at me for a couple of awkward seconds before he said anything.

"Well?" He questioned waiting for me to explain myself, but I wasn't fully sure what to say. I couldn't think of anything intelligent and I sure as bloody hell could not think of anything that he would want to hear.

I had to say something though, this was Professor Snape we are talking about. "I'm sorry, I really don't know what to say." I blinked a couple of times then looked down at my empty page of notes. The only thing the parchment contained was my note to Harry.

"You can start by explaining what is causing your atrocious behavior." His words actually caused me to look up. He had always been out of character with me, but this was extremely weird. I really didn't like it when he showed that he cared for me. After everything I had heard about him from all my Gryffindor friends, this made him seem human.

My mouth gapped open at close, "If I told you, I'm sure you would say its trivial."

"Then I pray, why are you putting up such a show?" He drawled.

"I—This isn't even a show." I stood up feeling, his words had an effect on me. I now felt silly, almost childish.

"Really? Tell me then, why are you mopping around?" His eyes narrowed as our eyes locked. I was glaring at him just as harshly as he was to me.

"Because I am being childish. I didn't get my way." My voice started to raise. "The world is against me. I can't be with Draco anymore. My life is being dictated to me and I get to sit back and let it crumble around me." I was fully yelling now. I didn't care who heard. I was standing up tall and looking right at Professor Snape. "I hate everything to do with my life right now. Not that you would understand. Your life is so perfect. You don't need anything." I sneered coldly as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. I went to turn the door handle, but it wouldn't open. I turned back to Snape who had his wand out. He had locked the door. "Let me out." I asked gentle, my breath caught from yelling.

"Do not speak about what you do not know." He said harshly. "If you hate it so much then change it." His voice changing so that it wasn't so cold.

"Sorry," I muttered softly, feeling honestly bad for my outburst.

"Don't, just go." He pointed his wand at the door and let me out. I gave one last glance before heading out. I looked back at the door I had closed behind me, before heading out into a run towards the great hall. He was right. He was always right and he always knew how to get me going. After weeks of dragging myself around it felt odd to be running with a purpose. I felt almost freed, especially because I knew what I would be doing. Plan #56 would be in full action by the end of the evening. And possibly by the end of the month, if not next I would have Draco back. All this, under the Dark Lord's nose. The thought alone brought a smirk to my face.

I ignored the Gryffindor table completely, even though Neville, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were looking at me expectantly. I instead headed straight over for my brother, Blaise, Goyle, Crabbe, Pansy, and a couple others whose names I could really care less about. I took an open seat next to my brother, which was right across from Blaise.

"Well, look who we have here." Blaise smiled warmly the minute I sat down. "Miss Trouble-Maker herself." He laughed at his own little joke. "Did Snape give you a detention?"

"No, not at all." I shrugged as I helped myself to a roll and buttered it up.

"He usually never takes points away from you." Theodore pointed out. "Are you feeling better?" He reached out and put a hand on my forehead. He kept doing this every time he saw me. I think he believes me to be actually sick.

"Great," I shrugged his hand away and looked over at Blaise as I nibbled on my roll. But Theodore wouldn't give it a rest. He was looking at me with concern. I tried not to get upset, he was just trying to be a good brother. "Really, I'm just tired from all the homework."

"Please, you do your homework with that mudblood. How hard could it be?" Pansy snickered.

"Her name is Hermione." I rolled my eyes.

"Mudblood," Pansy and a couple of her friends repeated with a giggle.

I shook my head. "You sure it has nothing to do with..."Theodore trailed off. I knew exactly what he was talking about, I just didn't want to talk about it.

"Theo, I'm really grateful, but—" I let out a loud sigh.

"You don't want to talk about it with me?" He filled in. "Why don't you talk with Blaise?" He suggested.

"Don't throw me into this mate." Blaise threw his hands up in the air.

"Oh shut up, you owe me." Theodore reasoned, throwing his friend a glare.

"I owe you nothing." Blaise laughed and stood up anyways. "Come on Crystal, the new leader has spoken."

"New leader?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, seeing as Draco can't make it around for meals. What? I can say his bloody name." Blaise said as everyone protested when he said Draco's name.

I ignored them and stood up. "Alright then, let's go for a walk." I said feeling mildly pleased that I got my way anyways.

I let Blaise lead us out of the Great Hall down a couple of corridors, till I finally spoke again. "So what do you owe my brother for?" I asked innocently, knowing it would be something amusing.

He let out a sigh and pulled me into a side corridor that was darkly lit. "You remember the Christmas party that you disappeared?"

"Don't remind me." I rolled my eyes as I took a seat on the cold floor.

Blaise joined me and sat right next to me, letting our shoulders touch. "Ariel Marple, was attempting to convince our parents we would be a perfect pureblood match."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Isn't she that fourth year who has an obsession with you?"

"Let's put it this way, rumor has it she has a whole shrine to me." Blaise said dead seriously.

"Who doesn't?" I laughed once more.

"Well, not the girl I want to marry." He shoved his shoulder into me and laughed as well.

"So how does my brother fit into this?" I asked curiously.

"He and I were standing there listening and he just simply said that it's too soon for a fine young man like me to be betrothed. Said my parents should keep their options open." I felt him shift next to me. It was as if he felt uncomfortable with being betrothed, but then again who wasn't?

"It's true you know." I turned my head away from the wall across from us and smirked at him. Our eyes locked and his lips curled into a smirk as well.

"And what about you? Professor Snape doesn't go out of his way to yell at students for a broken heart and even if we all know you're his favorite, what else is eating you?" He asked smoothly, but I felt my smile drop the minute the words were out of his mouth.

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" I threw my head back on the stone wall, letting it clunk before my head slumped onto his shoulder. He flinched back for a moment, but then seemed to think nothing of it and let it go.

"No, I have my theories about you and why you are so bitter about life." Blaise said in a soft voice as we heard students mingling by.

"You think I'm bitter?" I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Everyone thinks you are bitter." He laughed, his whole body shook warmly next to me. I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked him right in the eyes. We were close together now, I could feel his warm breath mingling with mine. We continued to stared at each other in near silence. The only thing we could hear were the students passing by, ignoring our little area.

"And what if I am bitter?" I whispered inching just a bit closer to him.

"I'd still be your friend all the same." He whispered right back.

I leaned in a little bit closer. My heart was racing as fast as it ever had been. It was like when I went to the department of mysterious and found out my father was there, but it was even worse than that. I knew I was doing wrong, but this time I wasn't just doing wrong against my family. It was wrong on so many levels, but I just didn't care. It was my life and I was going to mess it up even more just to prove a point. The point that I was still in control of my life.

Blaise wasn't moving at all as I leaned in closer. He didn't even protest at first. His eyes were wide as he was watching me closely. My lips had finally crashed onto his. I closed my eyes and deepened the kiss, but he wasn't letting me. He was attempting to fight back, but then he seemed to cave in. His lips began to follow my lead and we were not passionately kissing one another in a smooth rhythm. I reached up and ran my right hand through his dark hair, while my left hand rested on his back. He reached out and wrapped his hands around me pulling me closer. Our hearts were beating fast against one another as we kissed deeper and deeper.

But just as soon as it started it stopped. He pulled away from me breathing heaving. His eyes looked at me then down the empty passage way. "What the bloody hell was that about?" He demanded, completely gaining his composure he had lost when he caved in. He flattened his hair down and attempted to smooth his school uniform, the whole time never taking his eyes off of me.

I wasn't sure he was going to throw a stink and I couldn't think of much else to say since I hadn't thought about it. I sort of just blinked at him. Suddenly the space around me seemed to be caving in. The passage way was so full even if it was just the two of us. I took in some sharp breaths before I gave up. I looked at him for a moment and then I ran. It was the only thing I could think to do.

"Wait!" He called out after me, but I ignored it. I heard him running after me, but I didn't stop. I ran and ran until I made it to the Gryffindor tower, assuming I lost him along some of the corridors and students that were about since it was after dinner. I stood at the entrance of the common room looking around for a moment, before I realized I just wanted to go straight to my room.

I quickly headed over to the staircase, but I didn't make it very far. A hand rested on my wrist and pulled me backwards. My eyes locked with Neville's who was looking at me in concern.

"What happened? Your hair is a mess." He asked as his hands attempted to matte down the snarls that had formed.

My lips couldn't form a response, I was swallowing back tears. If I said anything I would surely start to cry. I just looked up at Neville feeling miserable. Then he did something surprising, he threw his arms around me tightly. He didn't say anything at all, but the way he held me made me break. It was as if he knew how badly I was hurting. I finally let go. I let go of everything I had been feeling. The hate towards the Dark Lord for ruining my life. The hate towards Draco for ignoring me and actually listening to orders. The hate that I could do nothing for it. Everything, I finally let go. I was sobbing in his arms and I didn't care who saw.

I have no idea how long we stayed like this, but it was long enough that Neville pulled me over to the couch. We sat there for a long time in silence before he finally spoke up.

"You still want to be with Draco." It was a statement, not a question.

"I can't let him go." I sniffled out.

"Then don't, hold on and fight for what you want." He patted my hair with a sad smile, which is when it occurred to me.

"And what about you?" I asked softly, keeping my eyes on the fire.

"What do you mean what about me?" I felt him shift slightly so he was looking at me.

"What do you want Neville?" I asked finally taking my eyes away from the fire and stared boldly into his eyes.

He stared at me, not saying anything. His eyes were sincere and looked almost watery. I felt a knot in my throat form. I had never seen my best friend like this. Finally he opened his mouth to speak and his voice cracked ever so slightly. "What I want doesn't matter, now go to bed." He demanded standing up and pulling me up with him.

"Neville..." I whined, grabbing onto his hand tightly. "Tell me now." I demanded, but I felt like I was going to shatter again. His eyes were so dark, so serious. It wasn't like my Neville at all. It's like he had grown.

He reached out and gave my hand a small squeeze. "I'll see you in the morning." He promised as he walked away towards his dorm.

I watched him go before I headed up to my own, homework ignored for another evening. The promise of seeing him in the morning didn't make me feel any better. My night had gone wrong and I couldn't even explain why. Even so, there was this small part of me...just a small part that felt, _free._

I woke up early the next morning ready to see Neville, to tell him I feel free. But when I made it down to the common room with Hermione, Ron and Harry told us Neville went ahead. Instead I headed down to breakfast with Harry. Hermione ran ahead avoiding Ron completely. Ron on the other hand was muttering something about a book in his room. Leaving Harry and I together.

Harry and I took our spots and started serving ourselves breakfast, blocking out the noises.

"You are in a good mood this morning." Harry pointed out loudly over Hermione's loud sigh directed at Ron who wasn't even here.

"Am I?" I raised an eyebrow before leaning in close and whispering. "I'm feeling more than good this morning. Though a bit worried for Neville. I don't see him anywhere."

"Not to ruin your mood, but he seemed a bit down last night." Harry said as he buttered his toast. "Though you seemed pretty down last night as well. What happened when you and Zabini left?"

"You don't even want to know." I said in a low voice before diving into my eggs. I was attempting to avoid this. How could I possibly tell Harry what I did? The whole school could know by now if anyone saw. Given the fact that I wasn't hearing any whispers around me was a good sign.

"Is it some pureblood things I wouldn't understand?" He rolled his eyes attempting to be dramatic, but all it did was make me laugh.

"Something like that I would imagine." I cleared my throat loudly and took another bite of my eggs. I took my sweet time before swallowing. "As friends Harry, do you think I'm meant t—" My words were cut off by a tap on my shoulder. I turned around feeling just as perplexed as Harry looked. "Blaise," I said as curtly as I could.

"We need to talk." He said quickly, not forgetting to glare at Harry.

"Then talk," I smiled gesturing for him to take a seat.

"Not in front of your mudblood friends." He said coldly.

Harry stood up pointing his wand at Blaise faster than I could react. "Say that again will you?" He daunted.

"Oh if it isn't Saint Potter. Honestly, your choice of company is poor Crystal." He growled grabbing my arm. "If you really want this scum to hear what happened last night, then fine I will have a seat."

He had me. I swallowed hard. "Harry lower your wand." I said calmly, but my voice cracked.

"Are you sure?" He asked looking between me and Blaise.

"No, not really." I made a face then turned over to Blaise. "On your lead." I sighed and let him pull me out of the great hall. He pulled me into the nearest abandoned classroom and locked the door behind him. He looked at me for one moment then went about casting spells upon the door, clearly not wanting anyone to hear.

"You owe me an explanation." He stood in front of me, towering over me with a dark glare.

"I owe you nothing." I said as smoothly as I could, but to be honest my heart was pounding harder than ever in my chest. It was ready to break free out of fear and anticipation for what was going to happen.

"You do, or so help me I will tell Theodore everything."His eyes narrowed, he meant it.

"Blaise, do you think at this point a little threat like that will work?" I stood tall, looking him dead in his eyes, but he didn't back down. Rather, he stood even taller.

"You have everything you ever wanted." He argued. "Crystal, you finally have your dad's approval." His voice started to raise, but I didn't flinch.

"I don't care about my damn father. He took everything away from me. The Dark Lord messed up my life. Do you think for one second I want that?" I pushed hard on his chest to make my point even stronger.

"Don't be a wanker. This is everything you wanted and now because you don't have Draco you are throwing it away?" He asked in disbelief.

"It isn't what I wanted. I realize that all along." I shook my head and took a seat in the nearest desk. "I mean, I want Draco. That part is true, but I can't have him. And since I can't have him, I'll have what I have always wanted all along." I smiled weakly at him as he kneeled in front of me.

"And what is that?" He asked.

"To feel I belong and to be able to be me." I smiled and rested my hand on Blaise's shoulder.

"And what do I have to do with that? Your brother and I already know you belong with the Gryffindors, so how does snogging me fit into all of this?" He pulled my hand off roughly and stood up.

"Not only will it help me get Draco's attention, it will let the Dark Lord and Father know I can't be controlled." As I said it, his face contorted. He had realized what my plan was.

"You are ruining your life." He shook his head. "But I'll let you just this once, only because I'm over due for a proper snog." He went over to the door and unlocked it with his wand. "And look, I understand your plan and I'm not happy with it. Draco is my friend and this will probably hurt him."

"I know," I said, my voice showing how ashamed I was.

"Then also, since you are my friend I'll do this, but please if it gets you hurt in any way I can't live with that." He said sternly.

"No promises," I held out my hand waiting for him to take it.

"May I ask whose brilliant idea this was?" He didn't take my hand, he rather crossed his arms over his chest. He wanted all the answers.

"Fred and George's," I looked down shyly.

"Which explains a lot. That Weasley twin fancies you, you know that right? He wants you to himself." Blaise shrugged. "I'll help you and I'll get you whoever you need. I can also promise it will get Draco's attention. So we have a deal."

"What's the catch?" I asked raising my eyebrow, crossing my arms as well.

"No catch, until I think of one."

"Deal," my lips cracked into a smirk.

He mirrored me, "Deal."


	19. Chapter 19: Perfect

**Chapter 19: I've never been perfect, but neither have you.**

**A/N: I need to write my other story, I want to finish them both so I can start another Sirius Black Fanfiction...I mean what. Enjoy and thanks for the reviews :D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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><p>You know that feeling that comes when you are expecting something big? That's how I felt right now. There was just a building feeling in my stomach that was growing every day. When Friday evening came around I thought I just might explode. I had never done anything this stupid before and to be honest, it was making me giddy. It was all so wrong, but yet if this worked, I would be showing the world I am Crystal Nott and I am my own person.<p>

Blaise and I set up a system to communicate so he could help me better fabricate this plan. Anytime we would see each other, we would pass on a note. Often times during the week I would come over and talk to my brother. Blaise and I appeared to be fighting. It got to the point where Pansy actually asked us what happened.

"Honestly you two need to make up." She lead me out of our last class for the day and started to whisper to me. Leaving me to make faces at Neville in attempt to have him save me. "If the Dark Lord wants the two of you together, you can't be fighting like this." She said pointedly. To me it felt like she was being a bit of a mother hen. I had no idea why, but in a way I think it had to do with Theodore and her being together. He probably sent her to say something.

"Fine, I'll make up with him." I rolled my eyes theatrically and pushed Pansy off. "Just tell him to met me outside the Gander the Great tapestry on the fourth floor corridor after supper." I ran slightly ahead trying to catch up with Neville.

"Do you want me and Theodore to come with?" She asked hopeful.

I waved my hand dismissively. "No, I'll be fine, but thanks for the support." I smile warmly. I knew deep down they would be spying anyways, which worked out perfectly. I gave her one last look before I ran up to Neville.

"What was that all about?" He laughed at the disgusted look upon my face.

"Pansy and Theodore think Blaise and I are fighting." I shrugged.

"Aren't you two after the other night?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

I winked at him and leaned in for a whisper. "The Dark Lord thinks he's a much better fit for me than Draco. Says he's a better pureblood."

Neville laughed, "The two are the thickest blokes I know." He nudged me, "But neither of them really deserve you."

"Personally, I don't really deserve them." I sighed as we turned into the Great Hall. "I'm not th—" My words caught in my throat. I had glanced at the Slytherin table for only a mere second, but that was enough to see Draco sitting there with Crabbe and Goyle for the first time in months. How could I miss him with his beautiful platinum head? I stood there as angry students filed around me. Our eyes locked for a moment before he furiously shoved the last of his dinner in his mouth and stormed away from the table, pushing right past me.

"Talk about rotten apples." Neville sighed and grabbed my shoulder. He lead me straight to our usual seat where I had no urge to eat. Eventually Hermione came by and shoveled food on my plate. She had seen Draco leaving the Great Hall and guessed what happened.

"Would you like to catch up on your homework tonight?" She asked cheerfully, even if she was throwing glances at Ron and Harry ever so often.

"I can't," I said in a defeated tone. I would love to do homework. I had caught up pretty well, but I could use the evening. But tonight was plan #56 and I meant that. I was going to take this seriously. I couldn't help the grin that began to form on my lips.

"Oh?" Hermione asked, realizing I was up to something.

"She's meeting up with Zabini." Neville filed in, causing Hermione to make a face.

"What for?" Hermione asked politely, but we all knew Blaise wasn't her favorite pureblood. He was up there with Draco on how rotten they treat her. To be honest since Draco's antics of making fun of 'mudbloods' had stopped, I swear it was almost as if Blaise and Theodore had gotten worse. I knew it was always there...but still.

"We are to make up because our fighting is unacceptable." I said smoothly as I took a bit into my dinner roll.

"I wasn't aware you two were fighting." Hermione looked over at the Slytherin table at Blaise.

"Me either," I said.

The rest of dinner was a quiet event. Neville was talking to Hermione about what we learned in Herbology that morning and I would just throw in a couple of thoughts here and there. Finally when I was done eating I headed over to the fourth floor as promised, leaving Neville and Hermione to head to the common room together. I told them I'd be back soon, that this fight shouldn't last that long.

I wasn't surprised that Blaise was there before me. He was already casually leaning up against the wall. The hallway looked completely deserted, but that didn't stop him from leading me into a nearby niche. We stood there incredibly close. Our eyes locked and silently we nodded. In that short moment, he informed me that some Slytherin's were listening in. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Were you followed?" Blaise asked in a soft tender voice. It was a complete act, but any girl would swoon at how it sounded. Even if it wasn't something to swoon over. He could be romantic when he wanted.

"I don't think so." I said shyly. Even if they might not be able to see us, I looked down at my feet for added measure.

"Hey," Blaise grabbed my chin and raised it for me to look at him. "No need to be shy. No one is around to see us." He paused for great measure. "You saw Draco today, didn't you?"

"I did," I said in a throaty voice.

"The Dark Lord didn't choose him, he choose me." Blaise pulled me into a hug.

"Because that matters to me." I laughed.

"It should," He stated before pulling my lips towards his. We had barely been kissing for a moment when we heard a crash behind us. We both broke apart and headed out of the niche. A suit of armor nearby had lost its spear and just a bit down the hall were at least four figures running away. Blaise and I turned towards each other with a smirk.

"That was easier than I thought." I shook my head, laughing slightly.

"Crystal, that was only the first step. They won't tell anyone what they saw." He pointed out what I already knew. "Theodore won't want to hurt his best friend and Pansy won't want to hurt her real lover."

"Oh I know, but that doesn't mean word won't get out. We just have to keep doing this." I smirked.

"Should I walk you back to the Gryffindor tower?" He asked.

"How about tomorrow?" I compromised. I wanted some time before half the Gryffindor population hated me. "Tonight, lets head down to the Slytherin common room for a bit of fun."

We were right, no one did say anything to us. Weeks had passed in fact. Blaise and I would met at least once a week. We didn't snog all the time, we just made sure people saw us going into private places. He truly kept to his word. He had arranged for me to met with several other purebloods too. They were mainly in Slyhterin, a couple were Ravenclaw and one was Hufflepuff. Sometimes we would get caught other times not. It was always such a thrill. My mood even increased despite the rumors that were finally starting to fly. One night, after a particularly long snog, which ended up causing me to be out passed curfew, I was actually questions.

I was attempting to sneak up to the dorms, hopefully unnoticed, when a lit hand appeared on my shoulder.

"Crystal," My blood felt frozen. I turned slowly to see Harry with his map. I gave him a weak smile before responding.

"Harry, what are you doing up this late?" I asked as he steered me over to the fireplace. We both sat down, his eyes were staring at the map, where as mine were locked on the flames dancing around the fireplace.

"I could ask you the same question." He sighed, his eyes leaving the map and resting right on me. I dared to look into his emerald eyes. "What were you doing with Dylan Crawland?"

"Who says I was with Crawland?" I smirked, but I felt a blush coming to my checks. No one had ever confronted me about what was going on, but the rumors. Oh god...there was rumors. I could hear whispers, so many whispers about the bitter pureblood. It wasn't even just the title bitter pureblood that was going around. It was how I wanted revenge on my family, so I was snogging every pureblood alive to prove that none of them were good enough for me. Except everyone was baffled, because I was spotted with Blaise the most. So over time, I went from being bitter to wanting revenge to having mentally snapped and it was bliss.

"The map never lies." Harry pointed to it, and I eyed the spot where he and I were both sitting.

"So you have been spying on me?" I raised an eyebrow, feeling this was almost comical. But to be honest I was waiting for this talk for ages. I knew Harry had been watching his map every so often hoping to see Draco, so it was bound to happen that he would spot me. And how could he not? He was a curious person and I already knew he heard the rumors.

"Hermione asked me too." He admitted sheepishly.

This made me confused. Hermione had never mentioned anything to me. She would get annoyed when I would randomly get up from us doing our homework together and disappear for hours, but she never, not even once said anything. She had several opportunities to do so. One including Lavender walking right up to me and wanting the full scoop. But then again once Lavender came, Hermione ran away to the library.

After moments of me pondering Harry ended up speaking up. "I've noticed you've been with all purebloods."

"Yeah," I edged him on, waiting for a point.

"You aren't...I mean you aren't snogging them all?" He said in a quiet voice.

"Does it matter?" I felt the edges of my lips twitch.

"There aren't any more pureblood or at least half-bloods left for you." Harry said seriously.

"No, there's Neville." I laughed, "Oh and you." Harry actually laughed at this.

"So what? Why are you doing this? I mean I can't help but notice several broom closets with you and Blaise." His laugh faded and he looked at me seriously.

"He's been my victim far too many times." I gave Harry a devious look then stood up. I stretched out and gave him a wink.

"You still didn't answer my question." Harry ignored all my looks and attempts to tell him I wanted to go. This conversation was done in my mind, but Harry obviously had other plans.

"Why do I do anything I do?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I can't understand Hermione half the time, what makes you any different?" Harry asked in an exasperated voice.

I laughed, "Too right you are. Alright Harry, I'll let you know." I took my eyes away from him and headed back over to the dying fire. A chill had made its way down my spine. It had everything to do with my thoughts. I always had a nagging feeling, but I never told anyone. Who could I tell? I was destroying my own life, but yet at the same time I was gaining my freedom. "I'm attempting to get my freedom."

His face went through an arrange of emotions. I could tell he understood, but at the same time, it was as if something was nagging him. "Isn't this going to get you in trouble?"

"Probably, but its gaining me attention and believe me I want attention. If I can get attention, I can get Draco to see me every so often." I smirked.

"You think he has been hearing the rumors?" He looked at me hopefully. "I mean, as much as I hate him and think he's a slimy git, you're my friend and he made you happy." He explained as if I would think the worst of him for hoping.

"Blaise and I are just waiting for him to finally come around." I sighed and took a seat on the plush carpet. I patted the spot next to me and waited for Harry to sit. "According to Blaise, he's talked to Crabbe and Goyle about the rumors, but nothing more. He has been avoiding Theodore and Blaise all together so they really can't get the full story. We reckon its only a matter of time before he comes to a meal."

"Then what?" Harry asked.

"We will make a big scene in the Great Hall and hope he follows us." I shrugged. I had gone over the plan with Blaise so many times we had it memorized. It no longer seemed to faze me.

"If Malfoy really does care for you, seeing you with Zabini will hurt him." He pointed out.

"I know," I closed my eyes and threw myself on the carpet. "But it's not that simple."

"No you girls always have to make it complicated." I felt him land next to me. He must have stretched out too. "I mean, bloody hell."

I couldn't help but smile. "You know, I don't really snog everyone you see me with on the map."

"No?" He turned to look at me, our eyes locked at we just smiled.

"No, unless we hear foot steps we are usually just talking. You wouldn't believe how much fun some of the Slyhterin's are." I said, even though Harry obviously didn't believe me.

"You are such a liar." Harry shoved me.

"For reals," I pushed him back.

"Slytherin's and fun do not go in the same sentence." He rolled his eyes as if proving his point.

"You know what also doesn't go in the same sentence? Harry and good looking." I teased.

"At least I haven't snogged a filthy Slyhterin." He retorted.

"And at least I've had my first kiss." I smirked, shutting him up at once.

We didn't stay up much longer. He said he was exhausted and I was too. It was well after two am when we went to bed and even if we didn't have classes because it was Saturday, it still was a long day. Because of it, I somehow ended up sleeping through breakfast. It wasn't until Hermione woke me up asking if I wanted to go to lunch that I had gotten up. I quickly got dressed and went down to at least met Neville for lunch, but Harry had pulled me aside and informed me that Draco was in the Great Hall. I couldn't thank him enough. Neville didn't question, but raced down with me to the Great Hall, where we took our usual spot. But our usual spot wasn't so usual today. Just a bit behind Neville was a platinum head, curiously listening to no doubt every word we said. I knew how 'careful' I had to be.

"Why did you miss breakfast? Harry said you were up late." Neville asked and I could almost kiss him. I saw Draco's head move slightly. He was listening in.

"Yeah I was up late, I lost track of time." I shrugged.

"You've been doing that a lot lately. Here," He reached out and filled my goblet with some coffee.

"Today I am all yours Nevs." I smiled warmly before grabbing a sandwich and taking a bite. "I'm actually thinking of not doing homework today."

"And I bet you are going to wonder off again?" He asked in a moody tone as he shifted his food on his plate. He never talked about my behavior, but he hated it. He knew what was going on. That much I could tell.

"No, I promise today its yo—" My words were cut off. I was waiting for this moment. Standing right behind Neville was Blaise, smiling at me.

"Crystal, can we talk?" He asked politely.

"Can't you come back another time? We are talking." Neville said, more frustrated then I have ever heard him.

"Can it you blood traitor." Blaise growled, as Neville stood up to protest.

I just threw Neville a warm smile. "It's fine, I'll be right back." I turned to Blaise, "Right?"

"You'll have your girlfriend back in a moment." He pushed Neville back into his seat and walked away. That was my cue to follow. I quickly gave Neville an apologetic look before following. Blaise was moving fast today and I was nearing a run by the time I caught up. He had gone in a small shortcut near the Slytherin common room this time. We both stopped and stared silently at each other and waited ever so patiently. We had no idea if Draco followed or not, but we were really hoping he did.

He leaned in close to me, I could feel his breath in my ear as he whispered. "I'm going to make the first move. I want this done right so you look innocent."

I couldn't help but hold back a laugh. "I am far from innocent right now." I rolled my eyes, but let him do as he pleased.

He pushed me up against the wall and stared at me. Our eyes locked as we heard movement in the hallway not too far down. We both ignored it as Blaise leaned in and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I followed his lead at once, our lips locking in perfect synchronization. My heart was beating deep against my chest as Blaise pushed against me even more. The cold wall send goose-bumps all over my skin that was only amplified by the situation.

His hands reach up to trace my face, they rested upon my checks for a moment before his hands were pulled off. One moment he was there holding me close and the next he was ripped free on the ground with Draco holding a wand to his throat.

"Nice of you to show up." Blaise growled, spitting blood from his mouth. He must have bitten his lip in the scramble, because it was bleeding and staining his teeth quickly.

"What the bloody hell?" Draco questioned still pointing his wand straight at Blaise.

Blaise ignored this comment and got up, now pointing his wand at Draco. The two were locked and completely in a zone. I wasn't able to get a word out before they began to duel. Sheer panic began to fill me. The two were going to get hurt, I couldn't help but let a scream escape from my lips. And soon before I know it, I was calling for help. My voice was beginning to grow hoarse from my attempts. They were getting nastier and nastier with their curses, if just one landed on either one it would be the end or a trip to the hospital. Without thinking I jumped in front of the two and push Draco away. I felt a spell brush by my hair before burning a hole in the castle floor. I threw a sharp glare at Blaise before snatching Draco's wand out of his hands.

"Knock it off, both of you." I snarled.

"Right," Blaise said quickly and started walking away.

"I am not done with you!" Draco yelled coldly.

"Oh let him go." I rolled my eyes and let go of Draco. For the first time in months I was able to see him up close. I had nearly forgotten how he had looked. Everything seemed to have changed though. His features were no longer soft, they seemed rugged and stressed out. The outline of his body was tense. Nothing about him was innocent anymore. He seemed cold and far away as his grey eyes locked onto mine. I could just feel the sorrow pouring out with that one look. It was there for a moment and then it was gone. His face was back to the facade it usually held, but within that moment I felt my world crash. I could almost cry with that look he gave me. It was heartbreaking how much he was hurting. I knew he'd never admit it, but whatever mission he was given, he couldn't be more miserable.

"How could you let him do that? I really didn't want to believe the rumors, but they must be true." Draco reached his hand up and ran his hands through his hair. I had never seen his hair so lose before. He was really out of touch with himself.

"They are true, so tell me what are you going to do?" I challenged standing tall.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" He asked darkly.

"You left me. You put the Dark Lord before me, you tell me." I stood firm, I never let my eyes pull away from his.

"That is how it is. We are proud purebloods. He comes first." He held his chest out. He meant every single word. I felt my throat tighten.

"No!" I screamed, I could feel the warm tears sneaking to the corner of my eyes. "What about your feelings about me? Are those not true? Did you lie to me?"

He blinked, looking absolutely stunned. "Crissy..." He muttered. Then without warning he reached out and grabbed my hand. "You know that's not true. You know I love you."

"Funny, with the way you were acting, I don't think that's true." I ripped my hand out at once. I couldn't believe myself. I had dreamed of talking to him for over a month now and now that it's come I hate him more than ever. "Your actions speak so much louder than your words."

"You wouldn't understand." He backed up a bit, looking confused and scared.

"I understand perfectly Draco. Did you honestly think you could avoid me and keep me waiting? Do I really seem that type of girl?" The tears had finally escaped. They were trickling down my cheeks, they were warm and running down quickly.

"Crystal, no..." He muttered and reached out pulling me close to him. "I love you, please understand that. I don't want us to fight."

"But we are because you are afraid to go against the Dark Lord." I sobbed into his chest. I couldn't hold back now. My emotions were falling apart around me. It was all too much to handle. Everything was so familiar. His arms, I fit there so perfectly. They were so warm and so comforting. I held onto him tighter taking in every scent and attempt to treasure this moment. How long would he allow me to be in his arms? I wish it could be forever, this moment could be everlasting.

"I can't go against him, I would be putting my family in danger." He reached out and began to stroke my hair. "What you are doing right now is mental."

"I'm not going to get myself murdered." I shook my head with a weak hysteric laugh.

"You've snogged half the male pureblood population in the span of a month." He pointed out.

"I still have Neville and Ron left." I pulled away wiping my tears dry. A smile formed on my lips. It was a weak one, but it was still a smile.

"Don't you dare, not the blood traitors." Draco said sternly, but I knew he was still joking. He would never suspect me of kissing either of them. In all honesty I would never snog Ron. Neville maybe...he's my best friend though.

"Then come back to me Draco. Come back and I'll end this all. I'll be a good girl and I'll listen." I pleaded.

"I can't," He said simply as if that was final.

"You can though. Just once a week. That's all I need!" I reached out and tugged on his hand.

He gave it a tight squeeze. "If I see you just once, I'll want to be with you every day. This is hard enough as it is. I love you and seeing you is...it's just everything I need right now. Crystal I am falling apart." He turned away from me and angrily punched the wall. "I'm not as naturally favored as you. I need to bring honor to my family, but I can't. This is too hard."

"It's not! You are doing just fine." I said, knowing nothing about his mission, but I trusted him. He was my Draco, he could do almost anything.

"No, you don't get it. I can't, I am not built for this work. I thought I was...I thought this is what I wanted. Crystal I wanted to be someone for you! I wanted to be someone you could be proud of, but every day I seem to fail you more." He looked mad now. He had ruffled his hair at least six times and looked really troubled. I had no idea what to say. I had never seen Draco in this state before. The only thing I could do was reach out and hold him this time. My arms closed around his tightly as we stood there, holding each other. He pulled me closer before I reached up and planted a tiny reassuring kiss on his cheek.

"You don't need to be perfect Draco, just be yourself."


End file.
